Ren sat down in Yakiniku Q restaurant, utterly spent after meeting with Tsume. He was tempted to order a bottle of sake for the first time in years. But in the end, he decided to go for a nice cup of tea.
Ren could only ruefully smile as he remembered the entire hour he had spent persuading Tsume that no, he didn't think her daughter wasn't good enough for him. No, he wasn't looking down on the Inuzuka clan. He wouldn't be meeting with her if he did. Yes, her daughter was pretty. Yes, Tsume was pretty, too. That's not the reason why he didn't want to jump into bed with them.
The woman was freaking exhausting to argue with because logic was just a distant suggestion to her.
And offering him the marriage and the position of the future Inuzuka patriarch?
Please, bitch.
He wasn't born yesterday. He lived in Konoha long enough to hear how things more or less worked in clans. And in the Inuzuka clan, the top dog led.
Even discounting the possibility that Hana could easily lose her future matriarch position if somebody stronger came along, the spouse of the leader did not have much influence in that clan. Not like in other clans.
Even if he was the 'patriarch' through marriage, he would have still been an outsider to the Inuzukas until he proved himself to them. He wouldn't get more than basic respect before then.
What Tsume was offering him with that marriage offer was a trap where he would work exclusively for the clan, but what he would get in return was a pretty girl to fuck. And even that was only if the girl was in the mood.
Granted, Ren didn't think that Tsume, of all people, mentally calculated the move to that degree. She probably stopped at, 'It's what other clans do. Let's do it!' step of her mental processes. But it still didn't change anything on the fact that her offer was basically a scam.
'And then there are Ino and Hinata to consider.' Ren mentally huffed as he dictated his order to the waiter before looking out of the window with his cheek supported by his hand.
Harems sound great in stories. Reality, however, was a tad bit different. It worked between the three of them because Ino and Hinata were good friends.
Including a 'rogue' element in their dynamics, especially a potentially aggressive one that would not try to work with the girls but rather try to compete with them?
Nah. Ren would rather enjoy the calm of his current peaceful relationship with two girls rather than start a massive row by adding a third girl without even consulting Ino and Hinata.
Maybe if he weren't a ninja, he wouldn't have thought this deeply about it. But situation assessment was a basic skill that the academy tried to push into the students' heads as much as the elementary school tried to do with elementary math.
It was the one plus one of the ninja world.
Hana Inuzuka was a pretty girl. No doubt about that. But Ren didn't feel any desire to become close to her. In his humble opinion, which was the only important one that mattered, Ino and Hinata were prettier.
Fortunately, after showing Tsume the seal-making wooden box that was set to produce the mental link seal...
Now that Ren thought about it, he never bothered to name the seal. Eh, it wasn't important. It's not as if he would ever need it to talk to an animal. Frankly, the seal was pretty much useless for anybody but the Inuzuka clan.
After he showed the box to Tsume and told her he would give it to her clan in exchange for an alliance, she finally stopped trying to push for the marriage.
And despite being over the moon with that development, she was then starting to get suspicious. It was too good to be true. Ren would have made a fortune if he had kept the seals in his hands and sold them to the Inuzukas.
Giving them an easy means of producing said seals was like giving gold bars to complete strangers.
Ren had to explain he wanted to establish a clan and wanted to get the Inuzuka clan's approval and yadda, yadda, yadda... It wasn't a very entertaining meeting from then on.
Ren's food arrived, alongside two other portions for Ino and Hinata, who had just entered Ren's sensing range and would step into the restaurant in a minute.
Deciding to wait, Ren turned his head toward the door, and when the girls entered, both frowning and not entirely happy, his dreary mood turned into amusement.
"Hi. Not having a good day?" He offhandedly asked them when they came close to his table and sat down opposite him.
"Oh, no. We are having a great time!" Ino exclaimed with an obviously fake enthusiasm full of sarcasm. "Getting three inane, stupid, uncooperative, demented, fat, childish, stupid, stupid, and STUPID children to properly do their job is hard." She sullenly deflated, her outburst ending, and started to look around with a bit of embarrassment showing on her face.
"Don't worry." Ren told her with a small smile, "I put privacy seals on the table. Nobody could hear you, and people will more or less ignore us."
Ino sighed in relief. "Sorry. It's just... Shikamaru, Choji, and Asuma are frustrating to deal with. This would have been so much easier if I could just threaten them to take their body over and do something embarrassing like asking Shika's mom to give him more chores, showing up to a date with Kurenai naked, or asking Choji's mum to get him on a diet."
Ren was a bit weirded out, and even Hinata winced at the Kurenai bit. Ino's frustration was reaching dangerous levels if she was getting this vicious in her mind. Ren mentally noted that down and resolved to give her a proper dicking tonight. That should at least delay the explosion.
But this experience was good for her. Ninety percent of the people she was going to work with on missions will be undriven incompetent idiots who are in this business simply because they didn't have much choice and do missions only for the paycheck.
There was nothing wrong with that attitude, in Ren's opinion. If the world wasn't going to hell within half a decade, Ren would have happily been one of these guys.
But when on a mission, a scout tells you with a stupid face that he does not know how many enemies there are because he didn't bother counting them?
Hehe. Ren's kunai starts to twitch in his pocket with an intense desire to make some Konoha chopped pork during these situations.
And stuff like that happens more often than not. Especially during C-rank missions with strangers. Most C-rank mission failures are not because of lack of skill but because people are genuinely retarded.
Ino was getting the firsthand experience of that. Shikamaru knew that the ninja life was dangerous. But knowing something and experiencing it were two different things. Asuma was lazy, and Choji just went along with his teammates' whims.
Ino even told Ren a few weeks ago that she was deliberately calling Choji fat to his face to get him to chase her. But that stopped when Shikamaru told Choji that she was doing it to make him work out.
Ino almost set the forest on fire during her tantrum that day as she seethingly promised she would have 'words' with Shikamaru.
The poor sod. He should have kept his mouth shut.
Ren loved hearing their stories. The girls did not know it yet, but these are the moments they would remember for the rest of their lives.
"My day was fine." Hinata started with a small headshake. "Kiba-kun keeps asking me out on a date." She sighed. "Kurenai-sensei tries to show a strong front, but she is kind of lost on what to do with us." Her lips quirked down, "At least Shino-kun genuinely works with me and listens when I try to give him advice." Hinata ducked her head in embarrassment as a truly happy smile appeared on her lips.
Ren was happy for her. Despite everything, Hinata wanted to have friends, and she probably found a kindred spirit in Shino.
Yes, the bugs creeped her out, and she did confess to Ren that she tried to keep at least two meters distance between them at all times, but still.
"Just kick the mutt in the nuts." Ino remarked as she dug into her food, and Hinata let out a tired sigh.
"I already did that. It just encouraged him."
"Yeah, the Inuzukas are simply like that." Ren shared with Hinata a look that screamed he understood her suffering.
Hinata blinked and asked, "Anything happened?"
Even Ino stopped eating and curiously looked at Ren. The girls knew that he had a meeting with the Inuzuka clan matriarch today. They understood the hidden meaning in his sentence.
"Yeah." Ren shrugged before dropping the bomb on them. "Tsume offered me her daughter's hand in marriage."
"I see." Ino nodded before turning toward the Hyuga girl. "Hinata, prepare the gear. We are going Itachi on the Inuzuka clan's ass!"