He came back to me that night full of grievances that were written all over his face. My poor man, i had never seen hm come home in peace, not since i had lived with him all of those years ago. "What is the matter? Has something happened? husband…" He pulled me into a big hug just as i was ready to serve him his dinner. "What is it? Did something happen between you two?" "Do you remember that i told you quite some time ago to not trust my sister-in-law?" "Yes, but...." "No butts, just you do as i say and do not question my decisions, ok? The sooner you do this, the sooner that we can both get the heck out of here." "Has something happened though?" "What is this? Is this for me?" "Yes, this scroll came just before you arrived; apparently, thee is to be some sort of debate between The Third Prince and yourself. In 2 days time. Both of your behaviours have been rather odd, but even i can tell that The Emperor is now desperate to dispose him and he needs to find a way to do it…" "Have i really been acting that usually?" "You have, and it is scaring me, you are not the man that I belong to, not since you came back from the war…" "As son as i take a break from this place, i shall be just fine…" "do you promise me?" "I...will be your man in private and this man in the palace, for it is the only way that we can survive until marriage…" "Then you must promise me that you shall never change again; it was already excruciating to survive in the brothel and The Fifth Prince's accommodation without you, but it is even harder to give myself to a cold stranger with my love's face, and now you change your personality as well? It is too much for me to bare, so please do not allow me ti have a marriage with a complete strangers, i beg of you."
"The brothel and the accommodation? Why are you bringing that up now?" "It is because i wasn't alone then...was I?" "I will tell you everything as soon as we are out of the palace..." "Will you really? And what is your plan for now with this debate?" "If i loose then we leave immediately, but if i win this debate…." "Walk away from it." "Excuse me?" "Walk away even if you do win, and give The Third Prince what he wants, because we both know that the winner of this debate will be the one to clean up his mess with General Choi. And then what will happen afterwards? You will be known as the servant of the palace who cleans up everyone's mess with useless promotions to hide the fact. Is that how you want to win in the palace? Because i will not marry a man who lives like that, even if it is you." "So what are you proposing then? That i just walk away from the palace? After everything that i have..." "I know that no matter how i feel about this subject, that I can never dissuade you from your public service, so hear me out properly. You must win the argument at all cost, and give memorable answers so that the officials will never forget you. This is The Third Prince's own mess that he must be responsible to clean up and al the better that he fails so that his father can depose him. And when hat happens, you shall be the person that will call upon to replace his duties and even be the one to cart him off to exile if you're lucky enough. And in the meantime, you can take the break that you so desperately need, because you cannot continue like this, no matter how ambitious you are. We can both take the break we need right before we get married and you shall claim me as your wife before you are called back with a fresh mind full of fresh ideas. Please? Consider it and we can…" "And? What is the other reason for you wanting to do this?"
"My Lord Nam…" "You will address me as husband and never utter that filthy name, because i will become a Seo after we marry." "Will you really do that for me?" "I know that i have been different for so long, and gives you no reason to trust me imminently. But you are the only person who can understand me, and that is real happiness, no matter how many people that I have around me. You know that I have good intentions, even if I am accosted to hiding them. But…" "But?" "How this marriage shall go and how long it will last will depend on yourself entirely wife. So, I shall wait for your trust until the day before our wedding, where you must bare your heart to me and tell me everything. We can have no more secrets between us, or i shall vent out my anger on our family, our friends and even our future children who will by law, belong to me before they can belong to you."
As threatening as my words came across to her, she knew that i was simply baring what was left of my heart to her and this was the only way that i could make her listen to me. We were no longer the young adults under my father's roof; we had both been through too much and it was making us both more hard-headed and stubborn than usual. In truth, although i revelled in the power that I had over her, I did not like to restrict her at all. But The Goreyo Dynasty was a corrupt and competitive dynasty to climb to the top, no matter what it took and who to sacrifice, be it family members or close friends. I had already gone through this with her brother and it almost destroyed all of us, and i would rather face death head on rather than go through the same thing with Yeon...or let anyone else catch a glimpse of her capabilities.
"...what are you so lost in thought about?" "Tell me the other reason why you wish for me to walk away from this mess with General Choi?" "If i tell you, will you listen to me without loosing your temper? Hear me out as a fellow intellectual, and not an emotional woman?' This was another thing that i had picked up recently with Yeon; it was so easy for her to be overlooked due to her being 'an emotional woman', that is why she got away with so much all of her life, including the double life that he lived under my father's roof.
"Very well…." "husband, as ambitious and as capable as you are, I also do not wish for you to go down a road of bond vengeance that will most likely come back on the children that you so desperately want. Look at myself and what i have put everyone in my life through for my father's death and he didn't have any personal enemies at all. Do you really want your children to go through a similar life like mine if anything happened to their parents? Or if anything happened to them because of the mistakes that we made here?" "Yeon…." "My love, you are slipping inti the darkness that your father and brother have created for you. And for the sake of our future, i at the very least expect you to carry out your goals with the least possible damage. Consider it being as good as you can be...as you used to be…" "Am i evil then? I think that i always have been this way...." "You...are selfish in your ambitions and in your desires, but not in a bad way at all; look at how many people that you heave helped along the way. But please, doo not become as bloodthirsty as your father became during his last days, because i will not put up with you teaching my father's grandchildren to be that way either."
What she was saying was making a lot more sense than anything that my father had taught me and she was right, I had worked so hard in the palace and even harder to keep Yeon besides me, but I wasn't about to ruin it all due to them mess that my biggest regret left me in; I was not going to let opium ruin my life anymore, nor my future. And only the Seo's fully understood how much determination that I possessed, after everything that i hd been though in my life already…
"I would invite you to bed soon after your dinner, but it looks likes you already have your mind set on something. I shall return to my chambers and..." "You are not leaving my sight." "Husband, it will do us both some good to spend a little time apart during your debate, and you know. Besides, i have my own errands to run to cover us both during this time." "What does that mean?" "We both know how much this debate means to both parties and what they are willing to do to make sure it goes in their favour, but you can never be to careful…" "Yeon?" "Until the debate is over, allow your sister-in-law to wait upon you, alight? i know what i am doing…"
******************
"How was the wine at the banquet? Or the entertainment afterwards? All of these men only see the smiles of the new ladies and not the tears of the old ones..." "For goodness sake sister, you yourself knew how toxic the palace was and how controversial my Mistress is..." "Your Mistress! i am a main wife and you are a servant, how dare you compare us…." "I am a servant with power, land and even enough savings to retire for the rest of my life, so who exactly is the winner between us?" "A slave with everything and a man wife with no assets, no savings and nobody to rely on, who knew that life would turn out this way for the both of us? You even got to enjoy a Prince's banquet whilst i was humiliated under the scorching sun and watched the bewitching Seo Yeon enjoying her life to the fullest in the palace wih her fiancé and so supervision at all! So why is she allowed to get away with so much! And my own brother-in-law! He favours me when he is happy and when he isn't, he will not hesitate to insult me at all!" "Who was the servant who let you dress like that, sister" "The servant? That is right, i have never seen that servant before...who could have sent her? I have no enemies that i am aware of...could it have been somebody from The Third Prince's harem? Or Seo Yeon? Who set me up to fail like this! And why! Because of my relationship with the girl? She is not even officially married, for goodness sake! No, this cannot continue anymore! I cannot be humiliated all of my life because of her..." "What are you up to now, sister? Haven't you already suffered enough humiliation for one day?" "Whether this is indignity, or pleading for understanding, I simply wished to cease being ignored next to Seo Yeon by the rest of the world. I too have my own merits, so why should i restart to being treated like this? And by whom? And because of whom? I too need an ally in the palace before i find myself and my son drowning in these never-ending battles between Seo Yeon and every other female in the palace, so why should i continue to be humiliated like this forever? Seo Yen, just you see how quickly I put an end to this marriage that she has been dreaming for ever since she lost her memories back then.