I take another breath, and turn to face the owner of the voice with a smile:
"Josh! It has been a while!"
My smile is not big, and it is barely sincere. I feel anger, when I look at the widely smiling Josh who seems pleasantly surprised to see me, and the anger takes a back seat when his eyes go to my legs, then my chest which was slightly bigger than what I had before.
I stop myself from showing any change in expression. That is what I have trained myself at in the past months when I have gone to the park and other public places to look at people, and try to read their mind.
It is like the accident had been the trigger, and it had opened a door in my brain. Then I learned the simplest things about it by trying to open it again and again for months.
It took time, but now, when I focus, I can hear beyond what people say on the surface. I can read their thoughts, though, I noticed, some are more difficult to read than others, and Liz… might be an insulator too.
Really, everything seems to tell me that my parents didn't die from a simple accident, and it was not normal for my grandparents to die shortly after. But I can only continue to pretend for now.
Anyway, right now I fight to stop myself from taking a step back as Josh closes the distance between us, and I fight to stop myself from feeling nauseated with the thoughts he is hiding.
Well, at last I recoil, and that stops him too. I'm thankful he can still take a cue, because for me he suddenly seems like the same kind of person as Ris, that airport security guard from months ago.
"Max, how have you been? You didn't pick up my calls until school ended, and even during the holidays! Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm alright. Thank you for caring."
"I'm glad. Come."
My thanks come with a smile, but Josh is not the one to lower his guard. Instead, it is me. Focusing is difficult and tiring, and I thought that Josh would not try to get close again, so when he tries to embrace me, or I think he is trying to hold me by the waist instead, to lead me somewhere, I am taken off guard.
Thus, he succeeds. I feel his hand on my waist, and as his smile widens, he tries to lower it to my ass that my skirt is loosely hugging.
"Josh, what are you doing!?"
All the confidence my newfound power has given me cracks and I push him away, feeling a little shocked.
He looks incredulous at my reaction, and looks around.
My reaction has drawn more attention to us, and we are at an age where skins are thin, not trained enough for society.
Josh turns red, especially when he sees other couples holding hands or being more intimate looking at us who are supposed to be a couple too. He forces a smile:
"Max, why are you reacting like that? We have not met for months, don't you miss me?"
I open my mouth to answer, but he attacks me and takes my lips. I'm shocked. I open my eyes wide, and he smiles. He extends his tongue, and tries to cross the border between our mouths, with his hand already climbing up my chest as he tries to pry the book I'm holding against it away.
"You!!!"
*Bang*
"Hurgh~!!!"
The three sounds are me pushing Josh away in anger, followed by a kick I simply threw by reflex at the easiest part of him I can reach to cause him pain. It is just that the part in question is kind of fragile, and very painful when hit.
Of course there is one last sound from the spectators who feel it for Josh, especially the boys.
"Do you take me for a thing you can use the way you want, Josh? Don't bother me again."
My frown can't go away even as he bends and holds his crotch. I wipe my mouth. I want to rinse my mouth and wash my lips, but I force myself not to hurry to the toilets, and I glare at Josh.
The worst is what I read in his mind when he shocked me with his actions. If not for the public setting, I would have given him a few more kicks.
So what if he is popular? There is a difference between displaying affection in public and being a pervert, especially without taking into account my feelings as the opposite party. If he wants to show off, can't he go find one of those public toilets?
I feel so angry that I can't even feel the load getting off me from ending the relationship I do not want. I breathe in anger, but fortunately, another voice interrupts me.
"Max~!"
This time, it is a girl who calls me, and if not for my anger, I would have shown a genuine smile at the sight of the red-haired who approached.
"Emmie!"
"What is going on?"
I just shake my head. I'm not interested in lingering anymore, nor in looking at the misshapen bags of hormones around.
"Nothing, let's go."
Emmie looks at Josh who is struggling to straighten himself with a face like a monkey's butt. She stifles a laugh and comes over to hold my arm against the softness of her chest.
Unlike me, she is already blooming. While for adults she is just not bad, for a girl, she is considered big, curvy.
"How have you been, Max?"
When she asks me that, Emmie lowers her voice. I know immediately that she is among those who have heard of the news at school. It is just that since I filtered all the calls and refused visits before, she can show her concern only now.
But I have shaken the grief already, even if there is the sadness I will always live with, so I laugh:
"No matter how I have been, it is not better than you! You have grown even bigger! And softer!"