RUBY
I've lost my invisible cloak. The word has spread that I was in London with James over the weekend. Apparently, there are even pictures of us entering the store together. Suddenly, there are people at Maxton Hall who know my name, although I haven't seen their faces yet. Some greet me kindly in the hallways, while others - most of them - whisper behind my back. The worst is during class when I can't concentrate because my classmates won't stop staring at me, as if they expect me to stand up at any moment and announce to the world what happened between James and me this weekend.
But I want to forget last Saturday as quickly as possible. I still feel humiliated, and the more I think about James's terrible behavior, the angrier I get.
When the bell rings for the midday break, I seriously consider not eating, but I'm too hungry not to go to the dining hall. Besides, Lin promises to act as a protective shield around me and tell me the latest gossip from her father.
"He has a new friend," she announces after we've been eating in silence for a while.
"But not a swindler, right?" I ask with my mouth full.
"No," she grimaces. "Well, at least I hope not."
"And?" I press cautiously.
Lin shrugs, leaving her sandwich half-eaten and wiping her fingers with a napkin. "I don't know. I thought after how bad things went with the last woman, he might take a break from dating for a while."
Lin meets with her father once a month to maintain some contact with him. I admire her for handling the situation so pragmatically. I don't know if I could look my father in the eyes if he had treated my mother and me so poorly.
"Was he kind to you?" I ask next.
"Yes. Maybe a little too kind," she answers, shrugging.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. It wasn't very smooth," she starts tearing pieces off the napkin. "But it's no big deal. You can't get along with everyone."
I reflect for a moment. "There are people you connect with surprisingly quickly."
Automatically, my gaze shifts to James and his friends. They've snagged one of the good spots by the windows and are chatting animatedly. When James says something, Wren laughs so much that Kesh has to pat her on the back because she's choked.
"It sounds like you're speaking from experience," Lin says, looking meaningfully at James. I vigorously shake my head and refocus on my noodles. "Come on. Are you not going to tell me what happened?"
"I already have," I reply.
Lin raises an eyebrow. "All you've said is, 'We picked up the suits,' but I'm not stupid."
I take a deep breath. "It was fine. More than fine, even. Until suddenly his parents showed up." Lin inhales through her teeth. "Did you meet the Beauforts?"
I nod calmly. "They're...very imposing. Especially his mother," I say. "I didn't have much time to talk to them because they didn't stay long. Then James went back to being his usual self."
"What did he do?" Lin asks, realizing she still has a tray of food in front of her. As she looks at me impatiently, she takes a bite of her sandwich.
"He kicked me out. They escorted me to the exit," I say, looking at her in frustration. I don't want to dwell too much on the horrible trip back on Saturday, during which I had to force myself to breathe deeply to calm down. "It was the most humiliating experience of my life," I murmur, risking another glance at James.
Just then, he looks at me. When our eyes meet, I grow furious again and am about to get up and hit him with the tray. But then he breaks the connection with a blink and refocuses his attention on his friends.
"Why did he kick you out though?" Lin asks.
That's exactly the question I've been racking my brain over for the rest of the weekend. And I've only come to one conclusion that seems plausible.
"I think he was ashamed of me. You should have seen how his father looked at me. Like I was something stuck to the sole of his shoe," I say, pushing the tray of dessert - chocolate cream with whipped cream adorned with a strawberry and a mint leaf - closer to me. At least the day has one good thing in store for me.
"That's nonsense. You don't have to let anyone make you feel like that," Lin says, so outraged that I look up.
"It's just the truth," I reply. "You wouldn't have paid any attention to me either if it hadn't been for what happened with your parents."
Lin shudders, as if I had thrown my chocolate cream in her face. Her complexion turns ashen, and then I realize what I've just said. I immediately open my mouth to apologize, but she stands up abruptly.
"Great to know that you have such a low opinion of me," she says with a snort and picks up her tray, even though she hasn't finished. She returns it and leaves the dining hall without looking back at me even once.
I look at the dessert and realize that I've lost my appetite. What a crappy day.
By noon, as I head to the library, I've almost gotten accustomed to the whispers and stares from my classmates in the hallway. It's becoming easier for me to ignore them, even if the echo of their voices rings in my ears. Initially, I didn't give a single thought to the impact that spending a day with James could have on my life at Maxton Hall. How did it not occur to me? James is the king of this school, so of course people are interested in what he does in his free time. I made a huge mistake getting into that car with him. And now it's costing me my invisibility.
The events committee meeting is a real torture. Lin doesn't look at me, and I can't bring myself to look at James. It's a struggle to talk to the others about the suits without showing how hurt and angry I am. But apparently, it worked because everyone seems happy to see the photos at the end. Camille then tells us that her parents know the owner of a large cutlery factory who has offered to supply everything we need for the party. Jessalyn has gathered various offers from rental companies for decorations and reviews them with us, and Kieran puts the music he has selected on his laptop.
I only catch about half of it.
After distributing the tasks for the next meeting and ending the meeting, I grab Lin by her arm to hold her back. She avoids looking at me but waits until the rest of the team has left the room. I close the door and turn towards her.
"I didn't mean to offend you," I admit. "I'm sorry for what I said. The way you used to be friends with those people- all so different from me, I just wondered whether we ever would've gotten half as close as we are now if it weren't for your parents' thing."
Lin stares at me for a while. At the end, she sighs and murmurs:
"You're right."
"I am?" -I ask, surprised.
She nods.
"If you hadn't approached me that day, we would never have become such close friends," she says, looking into my eyes for the first time since noon. "I'm grateful that you spoke to me back then, in the bathroom."
Her voice breaks, and she swallows. I still vividly remember that day,- a year and a half ago, when I went to the first-floor bathrooms and heard someone crying. I had no idea who was in one of the stalls, but I knew they must be feeling really bad. So, I cautiously asked if they were okay, to which Lin only replied that I should leave her alone. But I didn't listen. Instead, I sat on the floor outside her stall, passing her tissues under the door and waiting until she was ready to come out. That was the beginning of our friendship.
-I'm also glad we talked. And I truly apologize.
-Me too, I didn't want to fight with you.
-Well, I guess it's just that today is a bad day, I say, feeling down.
I take my phone out of my backpack and snap a photo of the notes we've written on the board during the meeting. Then I sit down the laptop and send the picture to the others along with the minutes Lin wrote. She erases the board.
-"Beaufort spent the whole hour looking at you," she suddenly comments.
-"He sat right in front. Everyone was looking at me," I reply with a sigh.
-"Not like him. He practically begged you with his eyes to look at him."
-"Nonsense."
Lin gestures in frustration.
-"You'll see. Still, it was great how you ignored him. He deserves it."
I close the laptop and put it in my backpack.
-"All I want is for everything to go back to how it was before," I say as we turn off the lights in the room. "Now people look at me as if we did something else on Saturday. And none of them have any idea what actually happened. Which is: nothing."
-"I know. But you know these people. They pounce on any little thing like vultures. Especially if it's related to James Beaufort," she mutters thoughtfully.
-"Mmm." I give her a disgruntled look.
She nudges me gently in the side and holds the door open.
-"Come on. Once the next gossip starts circulating, everyone will forget."
We enter the hallway, and I'm about to respond when I see someone leaning against the door: James. I look at him. I almost ask him what the hell he's still doing there, but at the last second, I remember that I'm done with him. So, I avert my gaze and continue walking. He steps away from the wall and approaches me.
"Do you have a moment?" he asks.
The softness of his tone confuses me. It doesn't match the James who treated me like trash forty-eight hours ago.
"Now is a good time to leave, Ruby."
I'd love to tell him exactly what I think, but I value my library card and group room access too much.
"No, I don't have time," I reply curtly. I'm proud that I've managed to keep my voice calm but emphasized. Let him know he can't pull something like that on me.
"We need to talk," James continues, glancing briefly at Lin. "Alone."
I shake my head. "We don't have anything to talk about, James."
Lin touches my arm, a supportive gesture that reminds me I'm not alone. Suddenly, I feel very tired.
"You know what?" I say, staring directly into James's eyes. "Maybe we should go back to how things were before."
"Go back to how things were?" James furrows his brow.
I have to clear my throat. A knot has formed in my throat, growing larger.
"I mean the time when you didn't even know I existed. Maybe both of us should go back to that. It worked much better for me than it does now."
He opens his mouth to say something, then reconsiders, and more wrinkles appear on his forehead. Finally, he nods slowly.
"Okay."
Well, at least now he knows what my problem is. This way, we won't have to keep fighting anymore.
Still, it hurts as I turn around and walk toward the exit with Lin.