By mid-morning, the streets of Konoha were alive with rumor.
Vendors paused mid-sale.
Jonin stopped training drills.
Genin teams whispered behind scrolls, ears burning, cheeks red.
It began with a single sentence passed from a flustered cleaning chunin who'd been very unlucky to walk past the Hokage's office during the tail end of the orgy:
"Naruto Uzumaki was taken by the entire elite kunoichi unit last night… in Tsunade-sama's office."
And it spiraled.
Within two hours:
A retired Anbu swore they felt a chakra surge that "rivaled the Nine-Tails attack."
A vendor at Ichiraku claimed Naruto's voice echoed across rooftops around 3:22 AM.
A civilian woman claimed she saw Lady Jiraiya limping and "grinning like she robbed a shrine."
By lunch, the rumors were no longer whispers.
They were gospel.
Inside the Hokage Tower
Tsunade massaged her temples.
"What do you mean there's a betting pool?"
Shizune shifted uncomfortably beside her. "There's… uh… a betting board. With categories. 'Next girl to sit on his face,' 'First one to get pregnant,' and…" she trailed off.
Tsunade raised a brow. "And?"
"'Which hole Naruto cums in next.'"
Tsunade stood up.
"Get me the scrolls. Shut it down."
"Yes, Hokage-sama."
"And…"
Tsunade's voice lowered.
"…Put 500 ryo on me."
Shizune choked.
Elsewhere – The Training Grounds
Tenten, sharpening her blades, paused when Kurenai approached.
"You've heard?"
Tenten nodded. "About Naruto? Yeah. Everyone has."
Kurenai tilted her head. "What's your take?"
Tenten smirked. "He survived an orgy with Tsunade, Sakura, Ino, AND Jiraiya. My take is… he's chakra-stacked and dangerously underrated."
The two kunoichi shared a look.
Tenten licked her lips.
Kurenai smiled faintly.
"Maybe we should introduce ourselves properly."
Meanwhile – Naruto's Apartment
Naruto groaned from under the blankets. "I swear, I hear people outside chanting."
Hinata peeked out the window. "They… are. Someone painted your name across the bathhouse wall."
Naruto groaned again.
Ino crawled into bed, pressing against him. "Poor baby. Overwhelmed?"
Temari rubbed his shoulders. "You'll need to build stamina. This isn't ending anytime soon."
Lady Jiraiya snorted from the kitchen. "Kid's gonna need to learn to fuck like a toad sage. I'll mentor him."
Sasuko appeared in the doorway.
"…We may have a problem."
Naruto blinked.
"What now?"
She handed him a sealed scroll.
From the Land of Lightning.
Inside: a formal request.
Kumogakure requests temporary transfer of Uzumaki Naruto for… "bloodline diplomacy." Signed, Raikage.P.S. Our kunoichi are prepared to welcome him… thoroughly.
Naruto paled.
Everyone else lit up.
Kagami cracked her knuckles. "Time to make sure Kumo doesn't get a taste."
Tsunade's voice rang from the hall:
"Over my dead body."