"Tony!"
Panic swept across the world at Tony's disappearance. The presidential inauguration came to a quick halt, and the Avengers, X-Men, and Fantastic Four took over the scene to find any clues of where Tony went.
But the damage was far reaching. Who was the richest man in human history? Tony Stark. Which was the most valuable and innovative company in the world? Stark Industries. Which was the most powerful and the richest nation? America.
Tony Stark was the anchor that held the world together and the progress consistent. As soon as the video of his disappearance spread, stocks fell across the market. But the damage was controllable as Pepper took office right away to stabilize everything. The deals that Tony had made with the world were still standing. And the Psyche 16 asteroid was still out there.
And for Pepper's comfort, Jarvis was still with her, helping her as it would have Tony. But deep down, she couldn't stop worrying.
Reed Richards was quick to detect spatial distortion where Tony vanished, meaning that it was a portal of some sort. Sadly, it wasn't easy to trace what sort of portal it was or where it took Tony.
While the internet was flooded with questions, conspiracy theories, and concern, not much changed. Tony had left behind a world that wasn't dependent on him personally. Even without him, there were the Avengers, X-Men, and Fantastic Four to take care of greater threats.
####
"Ha-ha… Welcome, Midgardian… Welcome to your new home."
Tony stared at the tall woman on the black throne. "I say it could use some furnishing."
"Silence, mortal!" She bellowed, her voice containing magical might. "You stand before Hela, the Goddess of Death."
"Wait! Am I dead?" Tony asked back, not even flustered by her declaration. Or the fact that he was likely on a different planet. Honestly, after living life like he did, most things didn't surprise him anymore.
"Not yet, mortal. I summoned you for a reason. The magic—I felt it claw through the cosmos, dragging me to you. You'll work here. For me. You'll find a way out of the cage my father buried me in," Hela ordered.
She didn't rise from her throne. But her horned helm dissolved, revealing a pale, chiseled face—jaw sharp, lips like wilted roses, and eyes ringed in smudged black, like some war-stained crown. It suited her. Devastatingly.
"Hmm, not really the 'taking orders' type. But from a Goth? That changes things." Tony crossed his arms. "Why're you locked up anyway? And who's your daddy?"
"Kneel!"
Thud!
Tony felt an insane pressure develop on his shoulders and push him down. But instead of kneeling, his armored legs dug into the ground.
"Mind your tongue, Midgardian. You're speaking to the rightful queen of Asgard. If life still interests you, then carve me a way out of this cage. Do it well... and I may let you keep your little realm—beneath my heel."
"Oh, straight to bondage? Bold choice," Tony said with a smirk. "Asgard, huh? I've met a few of you. Thor—big heart, small brain. Loki—classic neglected little brother with daddy issues. So let me guess, you're the older sibling with a god-tier superiority complex? Yeah... starting to look like a family tradition."
"You talk far too much." Hela placed more pressure on Tony's suited body, but that only dug Tony deeper into the barren ground. He was already covered by dirt up to his waist.
"So be it. If this is the hill you choose to die on, I'll burn what's left of your world when I rise. I don't need you. These chains are fading. It's just a matter of waiting a little longer, And—I'll walk free."
"If you didn't need me, I'd be scrap metal by now… Why is it always punch first, think later with you people? Try using your brain—just once, for fun. And since this little prison is one of Odin's DIY projects, I'm out. I'm tech support. What you need is a wizard. Maybe that Voldemort lady. She seemed like she had flair." Tony tried to reason in his casual fashion.
Hela shook her head and finally rose to her feet. Quite honestly, Tony liked what she saw. Tall, fit, and those curves. Too bad she could kill him in a heartbeat.
"Centuries I searched—for a way out. Mortals falter, Gods lie, but magic? Magic does not. I didn't choose you. The magic did. It led you here, not by chance, but purpose. You just don't see it yet. You are the key. That's not hope. That's truth."
"Sounds like that world will end in twenty-twelve joke. But hey, I'll bite. Just a heads-up: magic's not really in my wheelhouse, so you'll have to show me how it works first. Also, sure, I built an Arc Reactor in a cave... but I had tools. And I'm not exactly seeing a lot of hardware lying around."
The truth was that Tony could escape whenever he wanted. He had the sling ring that the Ancient One had given him. But he didn't want to use it right now. He didn't know how strong Hela was, but if Thor was a benchmark, he reckoned she was stronger. And most certainly a troubled child, enough to be imprisoned.
He needed privacy and a guarantee that she wouldn't follow him to Earth and destroy it.
"What do you need?" She asked.
"That's the thing. I have no clue."
"Then learn."
####
She's really into me, isn't she?
Tony spared no chance to tease or flirt with the woman. Sure, she could kill him at any moment, but he had no regrets. Nothing held him back, nothing made him desperate to live. He'd decided to accept whatever came at him. Even if it was a tall, goth goddess.
But Tony's biggest concern was the panic his disappearance must have caused back home. He wanted to send a message back home through a tiny portal. But the problem was that Hela never left his sight. Or rather, her sight never left him.
He studied her magic and acted as if he knew what he was doing. Being a human, he also slept for nice eight hours. Even in those moments, Hela watched him. She never went to sleep.
I guess I'll go full Charles.
Tony never removed his nano-tech armor. He even slept in it, covering his head. That gave him some privacy. As he acted asleep, he spoke with Jarvis mentally and asked it to record a message for him.
Once done, Tony created a tiny, ring-sized portal, barely visible and hidden behind his body. Right away, Jarvis, in his suit, sensed the Earth's signals and transferred the message directly to Jarvis on Earth.
####
Pepper Potts had just become the first woman President in the world, although she hated that title. She felt it belittled her struggles and achievements to a mere token. But there was no doubt that her term started with a crisis.
White House may have changed hands, but most Americans still saw Tony as their leader. Simple to say, there were protests, and voices demanded answers. She was helpless, Earth wasn't prepared to deal with teleportation.
Ting!
But just then, her phone notification rang.
Alone in the Oval Office, in the chair once Tony sat, she picked up her phone and took a look. "What?!"
She jumped off the seat in shock. A message had come from Tony's number with a file attached. She quickly clicked on it and Tony's face appeared. It was a view from inside the Iron Man helmet.
"Hey. Yeah, it's a bit of a cosmic mess, isn't it? But hey—still breathing. Long story short: some locked-up Asgardian goddess named Hela pulled the ol' magic summoning trick, and now I'm apparently her plus-one in space prison. Good news? I'm fine. Not even a bruise. Bad news? Pretty sure I'm not on Earth anymore, so unless you've got a Bifrost tucked away in your garage, don't bother looking. Might be smarter to ping the Asgardians. Oh, and feel free to forward this to the press. I doubt the Goddess of Death gets Earth cable."
That was it. The message ended right there.
"Oh, Tony…" Pepper sank back in the seat and rubbed her forehead. "At least be more serious in a crisis."
Nonetheless, she released the message to the media.
####
A month went by. It was hard to tell on that strange planet, but Jarvis kept track of time.
At that time, Tony learned magic from Hela. Well, he couldn't harness it, but he understood its nature. How it works, and how it's connected with the nature of the universe. It was a breakthrough, honestly. Tony was able to make some upgrades to his armor, thanks to her help.
By now, Tony was sure that Hela didn't give a damn if she got out or not. It seemed she was rather more interested in having another speaking soul around her. Tony joked with her, flirted with her, and what started as reprimanding outbursts from her soon turned into faint scoffs of acknowledgement.
Just needed someone to chat with, I guess?
"So, this is what we call burgers," Tony said, flipping a suspiciously perfect patty on the grill. He wasn't asking questions about the meat's possible necromantic origin—Hela delivered, and he accepted. "And this—this is called cheese. It goes on top. Revolutionary, I know."
"Enough with the antics. What is it?" Hela proudly demanded, sitting cross-legged on a high chair with a table in front of her.
What am I? A babysitter?
Tony flipped the meat patties. "It's called Cheeseburger. My favorite food on Earth."
Soon, he handed her a plate and took a seat for himself with another serving. He didn't wait for her and gave it a big bite, instantly moaning at the mouth-watering delight. He closed his eyes, enjoying the taste. It was 99% similar to Earth, he felt.
Hela sneered and, with a single hand, picked the burger as if she was disgusted. But curiosity got the better of her, and she gave it a bite. She chewed, swallowed, and then gave another bite.
"Interesting," Hela muttered. "What is this crunch?"
"Ah, that's the lettuce. Too much can ruin it, and too little can make it bland. Perfect, isn't it?" Tony proudly ate. He had practiced the art of making burgers since his college days, after all. He remembered cooking burgers on an iron back in the day.
Hela hummed and finished the entire burger.
"Stark, bring me ten of these."
"..."
What the… I've created a monster.
"Gonna need more raw materials, miss."
"Write down the list."
Ah, so I'm the butler now.
______________________
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