The world around me is screaming.
Rather, people around me are doing so. My face doesn't hurt. Of course. But I still feel dizzy.
Clouds of smoke choke out the sky, blocking the blue so much that it could still be red from the Lieutenant and I could barely be able to tell.
It's loud.
Everything is loud.
People are still running. It's pandemonium.
Smoke isn't just in the sky. It's here. I can smell it. I can breathe it in and feel the heat in my lungs.
I can smell...
Blood. Burning wood. The smell of meat cooking somewhere, but pungent and sharp, too sharp and powerful to be pleasant.
The world feels like it's spinning, but I'm sitting still.
People are screaming.
They've been-
They're all screaming.
I've never heard anything - seen anything - like this.
I can almost hear snippets of individual screams, cries for help, urgent demands, and I-
I don't want to.
I feel woozy, the world is spinning. The ground is shaking underneath me from the stampede of humans running back and forth. The noise won't stop. The movement won't.
I can't-
I can't look away. I can't pause, I-
Arin's hand grabs my shoulder, and I realize I've been shaking.
I've.
Not sure.
The last thing I remember was Kael's punch.
Everything after that is just.
Melted.
...I guess I blacked out.
"--Hey. Hey! Snap out of it!"
Arin's face is in mine, and he shakes me.
"Ryo, come on! Look at me."
He's yelling, but it's like a distant noise.
"Come on, you've gotta focus. Ryo! You can't just stay frozen."
"What..."
The world is moving.
It's still chaos.
It's still moving.
It's not-
I can't-
I can't keep up.
I'm not sure what's real.
I don't want-
I don't-
I can't-
I can't do this.
Arin's face is in mine, and he shakes me.
"Ryo, hey! Look at me!"
Look at him.
I am looking.
He's talking.
I can hear him.
He's not constantly moving, so he's easier to focus on.
"Hey. Stay with me, Ryo."
Stay.
I'm here.
I can do that.
I take a deep breath. "I'm fine."
I don't feel fine.
But I'm not going to say that.
Arin stares at me, and his face is tense.
I blink a few times.
"...What's wrong."
"You've been out of it."
I take a breath again.
People are still screaming. But I can't just stay frozen. I'm useless in a crisis. I don't know what to do. But I can't just stare and hyperventilate.
"It's hard the first time." Meera says it so cheerfully. She's always cheerful, but it's a bit odd right now. "I cried a lot the first time, too."
I frown. "The first time for what."
She waves her hand. "This."
Oh.
...I shake my head and stumble up to my feet.
The chaos is still here.
Elara offers me a small, uncertain smile. "Think you've got a grip? There's still people to help."
"...Yes."
My grip isn't there, but.
If I don't keep moving, I'll get swept up in it again.
So.
I do.
There's no point in sitting around.
No point in freezing up.
I can't-
I don't know what to do, or what I'm doing trying to help, but the alternative is to let myself spiral again, so. I focus on following where Elara walks.
She's got a bucket, and she's handing it out to someone who is carrying buckets.
I pick up a bucket and take a breath.
Meera is beside me, and she's not panicking.
"Hey, hey, look, there's someone in the rubble over there!"
"We need to-"
"We need to find a path around!"
"It's unstable! We can't-"
"We need to clear a path! It's not too dangerous!"
I'm not sure which direction to move in.
There's a crowd.
There's rubble and smoke and the scent of burning.
There's too much.
"Ryo, over here!"
I follow the voice, and find myself walking toward a collapsed building.
Someone is lying on the ground, unmoving.
A small crowd has gathered, and they're pulling the rubble off.
They're talking.
"He's not breathing. I can't-"
"There's a pulse!"
"Get him to the healer!"
"I'm a healer, move out of the way!" Arin runs ahead of me.
We've found another trapped person.
"Hold him steady!"
"We need a stretcher! Now!"
"Where's the nearest stable? We can't keep this man here, he needs to be moved!"
It all blurs together.
I don't know how long it takes, carrying buckets, helping people lift heavy debris, watching Arin run himself ragged.
Eventually, all the screaming calms, and the smoke clears to show a starry sky above.
The night is cool, and the air is still.
Elara has collapsed on a bench. Arin is laying face down in the dirt again. Meera has dozed off with her cat in her lap.
Kael is back. His gaze is icy.
But he doesn't speak.
The silence is almost deafening.
...I have nothing to say to him, so I don't.
He doesn't have anything to say to me either, so.
He walks away.
There's nothing to talk about, and no reason for me to feel guilty.
I didn't cause any of this. I couldn't have stopped it if I tried. Even if I chose to, that's not what my abilities allow anyway.
Another scream shatters the relative silence of the night.
Arin jolts, and rushes off.
I follow him, automatic at this point.
We reach the source of the sound, and find a woman, she's clawing at debris of a collapsed building, clearing it off of the body of a woman covered in dirt and dust.
The woman is shouting, begging for someone to help, as Arin kneels beside her.
Arin's expression is tense. "It's okay. We're here."
"Please, please! Please you have to - it's my sister, she's all I have...!"
She's babbling, and her voice is cracking.
Her sister is motionless, covered in blood and dirt.
Arin holds a hand out over the fallen woman.
His face is strained.
"...I'm sorry. She's-"
"No!" The woman screams. "No, because she was calling for me. She was calling for help just a little bit ago-!"
She's clutching the body, sobbing. "I heard her! I was looking so hard and I - she's my baby sister! She's the only family I have left! She can't be-! She can't just-!"
My breathing catches, as a feeling of dread rushes through me all at once.
That woman.
The one screaming and sobbing now, I.
I've seen her.
I can't breathe.
It's like a vice is around my neck.
She's the one.
From before.
The one who I-...
"Please!" She's still crying. "Please, please I'll do anything please-"
The world shrinks until there's only her.
And yet I can't hear her.
It's like her voice is a million miles away.
Her face is blurry, but I can make out her mouth moving, her arms wrapped around the body, her tears falling.
And yet I can't hear a word.
A hand appears on my shoulder once more.
No words.
Just a hand.
Kael.
He's staring at me. His hand on my shoulder.
But he doesn't say a word.