Kotomi Izumi had the same dream again. She was getting married to a girl. Like scenes playing on a movie reel, the dream began at the moment that girl slipped a ring onto her finger at the wedding. The days that followed were blissful, dreamlike.
As time passed in the dream, Kotomi's belly—without a doubt—grew larger.
It wasn't from eating. She couldn't gain weight from food. She was pregnant.
This was the third time Kotomi had dreamed of being pregnant.
The first two times, she also saw herself with a swollen belly in a dream, but she could barely remember them upon waking. Now that she dreamed it once more, the memories of those earlier dreams suddenly returned with perfect clarity.
Unlike the vague images of the first two dreams, this time the dream felt vivid and grounded.
In the dream, Kotomi sat on a loveseat by the floor-to-ceiling window, basking in warm sunlight that felt so real she could swear she was actually there. Her gentle gaze was fixed on the girl beside her, who rested her ear lightly against Kotomi's belly, listening for movement inside.
Dream-Kotomi still had her signature short silvery-white hair, but compared to her real self, she was now wrapped in a warm glow of motherhood.
"This is our baby. As the mother, you have to do your best, alright? The due date is coming soon. Even though I've done my best to prepare mentally, I still can't help feeling a little anxious," the married Kotomi said in a soft, loving voice.
She had become a wife and a mother. Though her playful streak remained—still cheeky, still a menace to those with low blood pressure—something in her had also changed.
At the start of her sentence, the dream-Kotomi clearly said the girl's name, but when she spoke it aloud, it came out garbled, as though distorted by static interference—zzztzzzt —completely unintelligible.
The girl who was listening to Kotomi's belly lifted her head and planted a light kiss on Kotomi's lips, offering comfort:
"No matter what happens, I'll stay by your side. Baby, do you hear that? When it's time to come out, be good, okay? Don't cry or fuss, just slide right out, got it?"
Then, in a mock-serious tone, the girl added:
"When your mommy gives birth to you, she's going to suffer a whole lot. You better appreciate her and come out smoothly. If you don't behave... believe me, I'll steal your milk and spank your butt!"
Finished with her teasing, the married Kotomi gave the girl a playful flick to the forehead:
"Shameless! And have you forgotten who's to blame in the first place? We agreed, no more than two kids. Any more than that and I won't be able to handle it. Besides... I haven't gone through childbirth before, but reading all those precautions in the 'Mother and Baby Health Handbook'... it looks so painful. I'm scared."
A flicker of worry crossed married Kotomi's eyes. She was anxious about whether her body could handle childbirth.
Hearing this, the girl fell silent for a moment, then wrapped her arms around Kotomi and whispered with a choked voice:
"Why did it have to happen now? I tried so hard to hold back. We waited half a year, and even then, it was only that one time. And it was barely anything—just like touching your lips with a damp cotton swab. We were so careful with protection... all because I didn't want you to get pregnant by accident."
"I'm so worried. I can't sleep at night. I toss and turn thinking about you and our baby. I... I'm really scared. I'm so scared of losing you. Why couldn't I be the one to carry the baby? At least that way, no matter how painful it was, I could take it in your place."
Married Kotomi looked down at the girl crying in her arms. Her gaze was gentle and warm as she stroked her hair. Though she had married this girl and become her wife, the girl was still the same one who always made her smile without even trying. Sometimes, her behavior still made her seem like a student.
Married Kotomi gently wiped away the tears from the girl's face with her fingers and comforted her softly:
"Don't cry. I can't help it—this is just how my body works. The pregnancy happened without warning, and by the time I realized it, my belly was already getting bigger. I'm nervous, yes, but also incredibly happy. I'm going to be a mom soon. Is there anything in the world more joyful than becoming a mother?"
"Don't worry, our baby and I will be just fine."
"And... I love you."
The girl, teary-eyed, looked up at Kotomi. Then she threw her arms around her, their foreheads gently touching as she sobbed out:
"I don't want our love story to end so soon. I still want to take you and our baby to watch the sunset melt into the horizon, to see the bright moon break through the night sky, and return to the first place we ever went together... to tell our child all about our story!"
"Hearing you say that makes me look forward to it all the more. And when there's something to look forward to, I feel even braver. Thank you... we have a deal now, okay?"
With a burst of static, Kotomi never managed to catch the girl's name in the dream.
She only noticed that the girl in this dream seemed different from the ones in previous dreams.
What remained the same, though, was that while dreaming, Kotomi always felt a deep sense of familiarity with the girl, yet she could never see her face clearly or recognize her voice. Even when her dream self mentioned the girl's name, it would be drowned out by static, like an old tape recorder.
When Kotomi opened her eyes again, faint morning light was filtering through the curtains. Judging from the brightness, it was already dawn. She rubbed her sleepy eyes and reached for her phone, which she had left charging by her pillow.
She had woken up just in time—the alarm was set to go off in one minute.
Kotomi turned it off preemptively, wanting to let Aimi sleep a little longer.
After washing up, she got dressed. It had only been a few days since she last wore her school uniform, yet slipping back into it now felt oddly nostalgic—as if she hadn't worn the Sobu High School uniform in ages.
The weather had turned colder again, so she also pulled out the winter coat that came with the Sobu High School uniform.
If possible, she preferred wearing pants during the winter. Her life in her second reincarnation back in China taught her just how wonderful it was to wear thick, warm pants in the cold season.
Speaking of winter, Kotomi found herself craving all the warm foods she used to eat during her time in China—hotpot, lamb dumplings, and if there were leftovers, she'd fry the dumplings for dinner and eat them with instant noodles and a poached egg. And if there was still soup base left from the hotpot, along with some leftover meat and vegetables, all she needed was a bit of sesame paste to enjoy another round.
The happiness that good food brings is enough to warm an entire winter.
When it came to hotpot, Kotomi was a diehard fan of clear broth with sesame paste.
She'd tried spicy butter-based hotpot and the oil-based dipping sauce before. Strangely enough, despite not being afraid of spicy food—she would pile on spoonfuls of chili oil when eating cold noodles—she just couldn't handle the spiciness of butter-based hotpot.
In the end, whenever she went out to eat with spice-loving friends, they'd always order a half-and-half pot.
Maybe it was because the first hotpot she ever had as a child was served with sesame paste. No matter the style, she never added scallions or cilantro—just plain sesame paste.
"Now I really want hotpot... but hotpot here in Japan is nothing like the clear broth hotpot I had back in China. And they definitely don't have sesame paste..."
She mumbled to herself, pulling up Amazon. Sure enough, they had what she wanted, but the shipping fees were outrageous. Still, that was to be expected—after all, it was international delivery.
Although sea shipping would be cheaper, the time it took was just too long. Even if the package made it to Japan, considering the pace of domestic delivery services, it would be a miracle if it arrived within two weeks.
To eat it as soon as possible, Kotomi had no choice but to choose air shipping.
Click.
Another expense was added to her bank account.
Lately, she felt like she was spending money faster than ever—and even enjoying high-consumption shopping sprees... This wasn't a good habit. She reminded herself to correct it soon.
To be honest, Kotomi didn't spend much every month. If not for buying a new laptop recently, she might not have even spent all of last month's royalties.
In her second life, as Ailun, she had been truly afraid of poverty. After her parents passed away, all the pressure from every direction hit her like a tidal wave. That's when she realized just how many expenses a household really had every month. If she didn't save every penny, her parents' inheritance wouldn't be enough to get her through college.
With that realization, Ailun practically only allowed himself one proper meal a day. He stretched a single yuan to its limits, searching desperately for ways to earn money. He bore the weight of part-time jobs and school simultaneously. Thankfully, he made it through. Otherwise, the truck wouldn't have needed to hit him—he might've died from exhaustion first.
Though in the end, he still didn't get into university. He didn't even finish high school. Just as he entered his second year, the truck came for him...
Or rather, sent him back.
Even now, though she was making good money, she still didn't dare spend freely. Just buying a few extra things already made her feel guilty and uneasy.
Kotomi zipped up her coat and fastened the final button, then spun once in front of the mirror. The dark blue school coat, when left unzipped, resembled a cloak draped over her shoulders. Beneath her pleated skirt, she wore white tights that highlighted her shapely legs. Once she reached the front entryway, she would also put on her pair of brown school loafers.
Her snowy white short hair wasn't long but not quite short either. Feeling playful today, Kotomi had tied it into a side ponytail with a ribbon. She was mimicking Tsukiko Tsutsukakushi from The Hentai Prince and the Stony Cat.
Her pink eyes sparkled with a gentle charm and alluring presence. A confident smile tugged at the corners of Kotomi's lips.
"I'm so pretty!"
...
After breakfast, Kotomi picked up her school bag and put on her shoes at the front door. As her hand touched the doorknob, a sudden thought came to her.
Would she see Megumi Kato waiting for her beneath the streetlamp outside the door today?
"Probably not. I haven't been home for three days. Even though I messaged her when I got back yesterday and made up with her, I forgot to tell her I'd be going to school today... mostly because I got spanked so hard by Mom yesterday I nearly passed out—no, wait, I mean I was in too much pain to think straight!"
Kotomi shook her head in exasperation. It was her own fault for forgetting to tell Megumi.
Mom had drained all the energy out of her with that spanking. Her butt didn't even hurt anymore—it was the lack of spirit that had been contagious.
Kotomi had spent all of yesterday just wanting to crawl into bed and sleep. Her mind was full of warm blanket fantasies, and she forgot about everything else.
She forgot to tell Megumi she'd be going to school today. She forgot to brag to Shizuka Hiratsuka about her incredible art exhibit in Kyoto. She forgot to ask everyone whether they liked the gifts and letters she brought back for them.
Realizing this, Kotomi steeled herself. During lunch break, she'd take Megumi to the unused PE equipment room or the infirmary, strip off her uniform, and slide into a full dogeza on the floor before her.
"I'm sorry. I told Yui, but I forgot to tell you that I was coming to school today. Please forgive me. I'll do anything."
Uh-oh. At some point, my thought patterns started heading in a strange direction... Kotomi thought to herself. Could it be because she wasn't just the Queen of All Females, but also a half-succubus Queen?
No point thinking about it now. Time to head to school.
Kotomi opened the door.
And at that very moment, her eyes met Megumi Kato's, who was standing under the streetlamp.
"S-Small devil?!"
Kotomi was a little surprised to see Megumi waiting outside her house. How did Megumi know she was going to school today?
Still half-asleep, Kotomi felt her brain wasn't quite functioning.
Megumi smiled softly when she saw that familiar snow-white figure and walked over. "Are you wondering how I knew to wait for you at your door today, even though you just got back from Kyoto?"
"Mm-hmm!" Kotomi nodded quickly. She really was curious.
Megumi stepped even closer, shrinking the distance between them. Her hand gently took hold of Kotomi's delicate wrist.
"Because... even during those three days you were in Kyoto, I still came here every morning and stood under this streetlamp. I waited at the same time you usually leave home. Then I'd walk away, pretending you were just inside and we were still going to school together like always."
With the two of them now so close, Megumi's warm breath brushed against Kotomi's cheeks as she spoke, making her face feel a little ticklish. Kotomi couldn't help but narrow her eyes instinctively.
"Wife, I missed you too."
"Me too—"
Kotomi replied with her cheeks flushed red, looking like a little temptress. Her moist pink eyes gazed up at Megumi with so much emotion, it was impossible to stay calm.
Of course, Kotomi had no idea just how irresistible she looked at that moment.
Just as she was about to give Megumi a big hug, she felt the purpose behind Megumi's hand on her wrist suddenly make itself known.
She was pulled forward in an instant, with no room to protest.
Kotomi tumbled straight into Megumi's arms.
Like a breeze carrying fragrance, their lips met.
Their kiss said everything about their love for one another.
I love you.
How much?
A lifetime isn't enough to say it all.
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