The election battle was escalating by the day.
Both camps had begun using every dirty trick in the book to attack each other.
Meanwhile, the onlookers were having a great time eating popcorn and watching the drama unfold.
McCain's camp accused Barack Obama of making sexist remarks.
Obama's side immediately issued a rebuttal.
During a speech, Obama stated that McCain's outrage was nothing more than a "phony performance," aimed at distracting the public from real issues.
He claimed his words had been twisted and that he held no discriminatory intent whatsoever.
Some analysts believed that McCain's team might be intentionally prolonging the debate. But the problem was—last year, during the Democratic primaries, McCain himself had criticized the healthcare plan and used a very similar analogy.
Indeed, the now-infamous "lipstick on a pig" comment originally came from McCain's own mocking speech during that time.
Obama had praised Martin for exactly this reason—The kid was quick on the uptake and sharp as a whip. As soon as Palin finished her speech, he came up with the perfect counterattack using their own phrasing. That way, any attempt by the other side to discredit the words would mean discrediting themselves first.
Just like how McCain's team claimed Obama was sexist—Obama's team immediately dug up McCain's past words and threw them back: Didn't you say the same thing last year? So who's really being sexist here?
According to several U.S. polls, after Obama's "lipstick on a pig" comment came to light, his approval ratings quickly caught up to McCain's, reaching parity.
"What the hell, when did I ever say that?!"
Inside Republican campaign headquarters, McCain was fuming.
One of his aides reminded him, "Sir, you did say it. We found the press transcript from that time."
"Damn it! Why didn't you find this earlier?! Now I'm completely on the defensive."
The aides were dead silent. Even you don't remember what you said—how the hell are we supposed to?!
There was no helping it. Politicians, especially those running for office, constantly needed the spotlight. That meant speeches—lots and lots of them. Sarcasm aimed at opponents was part of the game.
With that much talking, it was impossible to remember every single word ever said.
In fact, many of their speeches weren't even written by themselves. Take Palin, for example—her speech was drafted entirely by her team of aides. All she had to do was memorize it before going on stage.
Of course, not everyone could pull that off. Just look at Trump and that old senile guy—they constantly blurted out weird "divine wisdom" during speeches, adding all kinds of colorful flair to American politics.
To help Obama break through the female voter stronghold McCain had, Martin came up with another move.
It was... pretty savage.
Obama loved it.
That morning, Hillary had just gotten up and was heading to the dining room for breakfast when she spotted her husband, Clinton, already sitting at the table—even though he hadn't come home the night before.
She instinctively snorted coldly.
Clinton grinned but said nothing. Instead, he pushed a newspaper across the table toward her.
Hillary shot her husband a glare and picked up the paper. On it was an article quoting Obama's running mate—Biden.
"Yes, I've always thought this way. Hillary is absolutely qualified, perhaps even more qualified than I am, to be Vice President of the United States. We must recognize that. She is a close personal friend of mine, and she is absolutely capable of serving as President. So taking on the Vice Presidency should be a walk in the park for her... To be frank, she is a stronger candidate than I am. She's a top-tier political figure. I sincerely mean that—she's a top-tier political figure, and everyone should understand that."
"What the hell!" Hillary cursed and slammed the paper down.
She was sharp enough to instantly see through Biden's intentions. That son of a bitch was trying to ride her popularity to score points with female voters!
"You figured it out, huh?"
Clinton chuckled, watching her seethe.
"Of course I did, that double-faced pig!"
Hillary snapped again.
Clinton suddenly said, "You know, I love it when you drop the act, light up a cigarette, and curse like a sailor. So much better than the always-composed 'Iron Lady' act. And since we've got time... how about a quickie?"
Hillary blinked in disbelief, then raised her middle finger at him.
Clinton, unfazed, got up with a goofy grin and approached her. The rougher she got, the more excited he became.
Half an hour later...
Back to being the well-dressed, composed "Ms. Hillary Clinton," she tidied her hair and threw a cheeky look over her shoulder. "You bastard. How do you always have a way?"
Clinton replied, "This is the perfect chance, Madam Clinton. Time for you to show your grace."
"Grace?" she repeated.
"That's right. You're in the same party—you can't afford to publicly oppose Biden. So you've got two choices: either say nothing and let those two bastards milk your popularity, or graciously endorse him. That way, you'll earn goodwill from his supporters and look like the bigger person. Win-win, isn't it?"
"But I'm pissed off!" she growled.
"Hey, Madam Clinton. No feelings. You're not a woman right now—you're a full-blooded political animal. Got it?"
As a seasoned politician with more tricks up his sleeve than most, Clinton really had taught her a lot. That was one reason she tolerated his infidelity—this skirt-chasing husband of hers was still the most popular President in U.S. history. Even after the "Zippergate" scandal, people still loved him.
Yes, she was a political animal.
And political animals don't have emotions.
They're just cold, calculating vote machines.
Hillary reminded herself silently.
The next day, news outlets friendly to Hillary published a statement from her:
"I support Senator Obama's decision to choose Biden as his running mate. Biden is a good man, an intelligent man, a man of rich experience. I know him well, and I know he's devoted his life to fighting against social injustice and economic inequality."
"So I ask everyone to support him the way you supported me. Senator Obama is the candidate I endorse—he must become our next President. Whether or not you previously voted for me or for him, now is the time to unite. We must form one party with one goal. We are on the same team. We cannot afford to sit on the sidelines and let this moment slip away..."
"Well?" Hillary handed the newspaper to Clinton, who, for once, had stayed in that morning.
He read it quickly, then recited the entire piece verbatim without missing a single word.
"Absolutely brilliant, babe!"
Hillary felt a twinge of jealousy.
Goddamn, that memory...
Then she heard his voice again, whispering in her ear, "So... how about another round?"
"What the hell, are you a breeding boar or something?!"
Moments later, strange sounds echoed from their bedroom.