Back a few seconds before the "disaster".
Yuan Tianzhu was walking in the Black Forest with Tie Xin at his side, when, suddenly, he stopped. Turning, he looked at Tie Xin with a peculiar gaze. He hesitated for a few seconds and asked grimly:
"You all… really drank blood to survive?"
"…"
Tie Xin remained silent.
However, Yuan Tianzhu noticed that his shoulders shrank and his face turned mortally pale.
A heavy silence hung in the air, as if solidifying—only the sounds of dry leaves rustling could be heard.
Even without an answer from his companion, Yuan Tianzhu already knew the answer in his heart. Sometimes, silence already said enough.
He knew the conditions were drastic here in the Black Forest, after living for… eh… days? Weeks? He didn't know. His perception of time was distorted, just like his moral compass, which was about to collapse. But he never thought it was that terrible. However, thinking carefully, when he found himself in this damned accursed place, what scene did he come across?
Of course.
They were just humans feeding on a lifeless carcass. Surely, no sane person would think that people capable of such acts would care about drinking human blood to survive, right?
Yuan Tianzhu knew this was the effect of despair, hopelessness so terrible hanging over them like a mountain about to fall, but only held up by a thin thread light as cotton.
The agony of having nothing to eat tomorrow, nothing to quench their ravenous thirst, which caused gnawing pain.
The anguish of being the next victim.
The dread of never waking up again.
The torment of living in despair…
He couldn't judge them from a higher position, because if he were in their place… well, he practically already was. However, that didn't matter, because he would probably do the same — even reluctantly.
Humans were strange and bizarre creatures.
Some could say out loud how much they wouldn't make such a choice, but, when they found themselves in a situation over which they had no control, they would give in — unceremoniously — like a puppet no longer supported by its strings.
Not because their moral compass was twisted, but because of the circumstances.
The latter shapes a living being regardless of its desires. No matter how holy someone was — the world, the circumstances, the people… would make them a relentless executioner.
Tie Xin looked at the ground for a few minutes. Only then did he turn to face Yuan Tianzhu's somber gaze.
"We had no choice. It was do… or die of hunger and thirst. At first it was hard to do… however, we had to make a choice in the end. It's not like I'm proud of such a choice. But… that happened."
"That?"
Yuan Tianzhu raised his eyebrows.
Tie Xin nodded imposingly, tears running down his face ashen as a corpse. Perhaps he was already a walking corpse after what he went through in the Black Forest.
"I don't know if it was after days, weeks, months, or even years… a new wave of people arrived in the Black Forest.
"So what? What's the problem? Don't tell me you felt sorry for them, knowing they would become your dinner?"
Yuan Tianzhu narrowed his eyes and blatantly mocked.
"No… it's not that. You can't even imagine…" Tie Xin stopped, but then added somberly, "My four-year-old daughter was one of the victims who emerged in the new wave…
"You don't know how desperate it was for me to know my daughter was sent to such a hell. Why her? Why at that moment? What did I do to deserve this? These were the questions that arose in my mind and haunt me to this day. Unfortunately, no one answered me. The despair was so great that I didn't know what to do… until the fateful day arrived."
'Don't tell me…'
Yuan Tianzhu's face darkened immediately.
His body couldn't help but tremble. He wanted to believe otherwise. That something so abominable couldn't have happened. However, he already knew the answer in his heart… something that made him clench his fists— in rage, at himself, at Tie Xin, at the world, at this fucking Dao Trial.
"It was the worst day of my life… seeing the resplendent glow of her pure eyes fading… like the extinguishing of a candle. The taste… was sweet and bitter at the same time. That day, something in me died.
And along with my daughter. With the choice between my survival and hers… I… heavily chose mine. Her screams, that day, still scratch my ears. Her cold touch still chills my skin and makes my hairs stand. The sweet and bitter taste still remains on my taste buds. Her call of 'Daddy, help me…' still freezes my heart. The image of her bloodied body still projects in my mind like a film… a curse that cannot be broken…"
Yuan Tianzhu stood there immobile.
His ear twisted slightly as he listened to this son of a bitch confess this event with a neutral expression.
His fists, so clenched, that blood dripped from them. His heart beat rapidly, making his blood course through his entire body in hot currents that warmed every part of him with anger, scorn, and deep abhorrence.
He lowered his head, looking at the black ground of the Black Forest, from which blood emanated, making his stomach churn in disgust. He could almost imagine Tie Xin's daughter being eaten by him… and the others.
Yuan Tianzhu clenched his teeth, his slender body trembling slightly. He could barely contain himself.
After some time trying to calm down, he finally managed to control his nerves — and the overwhelming urge to slap that damn creature.
Such negligence made him think of himself, on that certain day.
'No… Don't think about it, Yuan Tianzhu.'
Yuan Tianzhu hastily shook his head as he spoke to himself.
He raised his head and looked at the desolate Tie Xin.
"Why?"
He asked.
One thing disturbed him in this whole story. Of all the people who arrived in the new wave… why did he have to consume his own daughter? Why not someone else? Not that that would be right in any way… However, this question kept circling in his mind. Like a curse, it wouldn't disappear without an answer.
Tie Xin shivered at Yuan Tianzhu's question, unconsciously looking to the sides.
Yuan Tianzhu didn't pressure him, as he knew it must be difficult for Tie Xin to relive this tragic memory.
Tie Xin closed his eyes… and then reopened them.
Yuan Tianzhu could see guilt filling them, as if it were about to overflow.
"I… I didn't want her to live the same despair I did. I didn't want her to see what I had become. I… I didn't want her to become the same as me… a monster. I was afraid of the result. She was the weakest—"
'Shut up.'
Yuan Tianzhu thought in his heart.
However, his face was devoid of emotions.
Like a blank page.
"Even if she was the weakest… couldn't you protect her?" he asked coldly.
Tie Xin trembled at Yuan Tianzhu's sharp words. He couldn't help but notice that his tone of voice had changed… in a certain way.
"…" Tie Xin replied after a disturbing silence, "Of course I could… But until when? Until when would I endure… and not leave her alone in this hellish nightmare? Just thinking about leaving my daughter in such an environment was enough to send shivers down my spine. Maybe she could survive… but I didn't want to rest my hopes on empty hypotheses. One day you will understand, newbie. The hardest choices require the strongest will."
Yuan Tianzhu remained silent, just looking somberly at him.
'Hehehe… you don't feel remorse for your actions. Only guilt. The former and the latter are different concepts. You feel guilt because you did something unethical… something that shouldn't have been done. But not remorse; not regret. You don't regret your acts, as long as they kept you alive. Stop lying to yourself. This conversation only served for you to unload your guilt. You needed someone to hear you… and, more importantly, to convince yourself that what you did was right at that time. Thank you very much, Tie Xin. Today I, Yuan Tianzhu, learned a lot. I learned something very important. I learned about the ugly human nature. About how selfish we are. And how that selfishness goes beyond any bloodline. I hope you die. And go to the depths of hell. Suffer the greatest and most unbearable pain possible in the world… infinitely.'
"Don't worry, Tie Xin. I understand your choice," said Yuan Tianzhu with a light smile on his handsome face.
"Really?"
Tie Xin stopped, surprised by Yuan Tianzhu's response. He was already prepared to hear all kinds of insults and curses. He didn't expect such a reaction. Tie Xin looked at him with doubt… and a spark of hope.
"Of course. If I were in the same place as you… I would make the same choice. I would never let my daughter go through such hell. So why not end her suffering myself, before it even starts?"
Yuan Tianzhu nodded.
"I'm sure she doesn't blame you for that, Tie Xin. She must be proud to have a good father like you. So, you shouldn't feel guilt for it. She certainly forgave you."
Yuan Tianzhu walked over to Tie Xin and gave him a pat on the shoulder.
Tie Xin visibly shuddered, as a wave of tears and snot ran down his pale face. No matter how much he wiped… they didn't stop flowing.
"Tha— Thank you. Yes, you're right. I did everything for her, as her father. She certainly forgave me. I hope I was a good father to you… Ning Ning…"
Yuan Tianzhu looked at him out of the corner of his eyes. Something neither he nor Tie Xin noticed, was that his eyes once blue like the ocean had become transparent blue like glass and cold as an iceberg.
A lapse of cold light flashed in them momentarily and then returned to normal.
'Of course she must have forgiven you… fuck no! Why would she? She must hate you from the bottom of her heart. Can't wait to lacerate your flesh and feast on your coward's blood. Why would she forgive you… after you butchered her, ingested her, and savoured her blood like wine? Don't tell me you actually believe that. Ah… how naive you are, Tie Xin…'
Yuan Tianzhu silently admonished in his heart.
'Hehehehehehe…'
A slight chuckle reverberated in Yuan Tianzhu's ears, before turning into a maniacal-hysterical laugh:
'Hahahahahahahahahaha!'
Yuan Tianzhu didn't even blink.
'Shut up, Mo Xie Zhe.'
'…'
The laughter ceased for a moment.
But then, the sinister voice of Mo Xie Zhe echoed back:
'Do you really not feel shame?'
'Shame of what?'
Yuan Tianzhu continued patting Tie Xin on the shoulder.
'Hahahahahahahahaha… That's right, Yuan Tianzhu… Hahahahaha…'
Mo Xie Zhe laughed insanely, as if he had heard the joke of the century.
'Hypocrite.'