Marriage, such a delicate thing, sacred even. Such a thing should never, be used for petty vengeance. *Achoo* Or as a ploy to get rid of someone *Achoo* Well... this is Nerima. A fake marriage is more... reasonable (even if it can end with scars)
Ringo sat at the table with a surprisingly calm Lee Yin on the other end. "Is it pollen season?" Ringo asked, but they were in the middle of a discussion. About what he was doing having an, alleged, date with another girl who seemingly came out of the wood works. Yukue believes he is jeopardizing the plan which is their marriage.
Lee Yin pressed her hands on the table "Why do you make this plan so difficult!?" She glared at Ringo as he stood up abruptly before he slowly walked away from the table like he constantly tried before to get away from this interrogation, but Lee Yin persisted. "We just have to act married till Ochiba leaves Nerima."
"He hasn't yet." Ringo sat on the bed flipping to a random page on a magazine and scanning it, he took a moment to look up at Lee Yin when she cleared her throat "Why does it have to be marriage? why did you even choose to marry me yourself?" He questioned, before flipping a page and going back to scanning it.
Lee Yin wouldn't want to explain why she truly did it, but after some reasoning to her self she had an explanation. "Well I didn't know you had a poorly hidden lover." she began.
Ringo glanced up to correct her "Rival."
She narrowed her eyes at that term. "Whatever she is... And do you think a guy who ended fifty relationships would care if you had a girlfriend?"
Ringo could only glare to the side like that direction wronged him "Well getting married seems far fetched..." he started walking around the house again, cycling to the kitchen.
Lee Yin followed him, pinching her nose bridge. "For the second time, You agreed to it!" The argument paused. They glared at each other with a mutual irritation on opposite ends of the small table.
He put the side of his hand over his mouth looking to that same right wall, he might manifest the demon of wall hate, he began to mutter through his hand. "...I did no such thing-"
*BAM*
She slammed her fists to the table the moment she heard 'no' and instead of grabbing her spear, she now held a microphone and shouted to the top of her lungs "WE ARE HERE CAUSE YOU DID!!" The feedback from the speakers was jarring, trying to think of a better description would make the sound hurt more.
Ringo blinked for a few seconds, ten to be exact, opened his mouth, and then started to blink more. His face finally relaxed, and then his eyebrows furrowed "Noisy..." he stated blankly, then blinked some more, with a slight squint.
She growled at the statement, shutting her eyes tightly "Do you even want to get rid of Ochiba?" she spat, her voice smothered with annoyance.
"I do... but..." Just be blunt worked with Ochiba for twelve years "I don't want to be married." There, as clear as glass, he said it.
Lee Yin sat there, the only noise being the tea kettle's high pitched screaming after their first pause. Then a smirk crossed her lips, her expression seemed light "Fine then." she stood up and walked to the counter she found the divorce papers in. "Just perfect." she grabbed the pen pinned to the paper and signed it. "Plan A was getting too tedious..." her voice was a dangerous level of soft . "Plan B is much simpler." she let out a cutesy giggle, and softly grabbed her spear, flourishing it gracefully before...
She kindly...
Plants her spear into the chair Ringo once sat in.
Plan B was murder, right, totally normal... So ordinary in fact, Ringo actually managed to walk out of the front door to his shop, turn around, close it, and walk away hastily. He managed to pass the shop next to him before Lee Yin crashed through his calmly closed door with a bucket being torn off her head. Pointing her spear at the sweating Ringo, she throws privacy to the wind, addressing him directly "You can't walk away from this! Till death do us part!" She shouted. Her grimace being replaced with a quirked eyebrow when she saw Ringo slam his fist in his palm like he realized something...
He ran.
Lee Yin watched him near the corner completely dumbfounded before she began chasing him again. "Get back here!" She sprinted at an Olympic pace, a noticeably proper form too, even with the alluring spear in her hand.
"Isn't this a bit excessive?"
*Bang*
"Murder and all?"
*bong*
"This is like killing your son for a deal he made as a child"
*achoo*... (very demurely)
Lee Yin mostly responded with vicious growls and grunts of effort from tossing pots, dumbbells, and one wok at her ex-husband. "Do you make every plan difficult" was the only coherent sentence, that didn't involve chaining a bunch of swears together.
In the middle of her attempt to hurl a truck at him which, she thankfully didn't have the strength for, She had lost Ringo, who could be anywhere with his speed. But no one can run forever she will find him.
On the other end of the bridge, in an authentic Chinese restaurant, sat two people. One was on their knees and the other on their wooden staff, like those street magicians. Ringo was sitting before Cologne (and a bowl of noodles) Placing his somewhat soaked chopsticks before him like a knife
They had their best business looks on "Honorary Grandmother! I need your help!" and a stoic tone... (Its like a Yakuza meeting.)
Cologne hummed at the sudden respect he gave to her title "What is it boy?
With the same stoic tone he began "I'm in a bad divorce." He sipped the remaining soup in the bowl, a satisfied sigh betraying his previous tone. Once done, his eyes sharpened instantly, then closed sagely "You... put a bit to much pepper." a small cough escaped him. "Anyway... She wants to kill me!" He pressed his palm on his chest dramatically, the sound of a wall crashing akin to thunder echoed through the room.
"I see..." She placed a thoughtful hand to her chin "So two dashes of pepper"
"Yes..." He nodded softly "That isn't the concern here." His tone was sprinkled with something more urgent.
She waved a hand and sprinkled two dashes of pepper into her bowl "Marital issues are son in law's specialty, go there." When she tried the bowl, she gave a satisfied hum. "Is that her?" She pointed to the vertical opening door recently renovated.
Lee Yin was already charging toward the panicked Ringo, maybe even through, but the fire on his head proved to be distracting and in the blur of chaos she found an empty bowl planted on her face. "Ugh-You!" she cast the bowl to the side and chased after the sounds of footsteps. Once she got out, Lee Yin saw Ringo's visage vanish behind the, soon to be see through, walls.
But on another note, In Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, Ochiba had returned to mope till he heard Lee Yins terrifyingly furious voice. "He doesn't want to be married, and now he makes this plan difficult..." Even if he weren't familiar with her tone when chasing someone, the growl laced in her sentence surely said "Ringo is free" in somewhat fluent Banbusa.
"Good news! I can finally continue my quest for Ringo's heart!" he shouted joyfully to Ukyo. "I must prepare... the gift..." a malicious smile scratched across his face, he runs off onto the streets.
Lee Yin managed to catch up with Ringo in between the third wall, and through the second. "Just hold still so I can kill you!" She raises her spear overhead, ready to impale the rare specimen of poultry, till it pointed to the right.
"You wouldn't murder in front of a child would you?" He turns to look at the kid like someone wasn't trying murder him at the moment. "Hey Kinchō. is that your dad?" Who currently was dragging Kinchō in a small wooden boat, wearing a pirate hat.
Lee Yin Rubbed her eyes "What the..." but when she looked towards Ringo to see if he was seeing this sight, he was gone. "That, Bas..." she remembered the child was still there "T-That bass guitar in that shop looks cool." She continued her chase the moment they turned their heads to the conveniently placed guitar shop.
And now we find ourselves at the Tendo dojo. After a suspiciously uneventful day but that peace would end quite soon.
*Scrape*
*Thud*
*Knock knock*
The patriarch, Soun Tendo, stood up from his particularly relaxing read of the newspaper, and warm tea to bravely open the door to chaos. "Hello, how may I help you-" There was enough room between his eyelids to clearly reflect the visage of a rubble cluttered, very furious girl, With a spear, likely a suitor. And a hot dog stand that didn't seem like a greeting gift.
"Where, is he!?" Lee Yin's eyes cut around what she could see past Soun. There was the family of the house peeking around the corner. And a panda staring angrily at... Ringo, busy fixing a loose floor board.
Once he was done fixing the floor board, checking with a little step, while being watched by everyone. But the sound of heavy metal bumping on the walls warned him of the suddenly possible chance of flying hotdog stands. One did fly past his face shortly after, slamming into the stairs just past him. The sound of expenses, hanging in the air, he calmly crept through the hall, toward the dojo, he even waved at them all, mouthing "pardon the intrusion."
"Is that feather digging into his brain?" she muttered, palming her forehead before, with more of a growl saying "Pardon the intrusion" Brushing past Soun and running after Ringo. But the stomps made another old floor board pop up.
Even from outside the house, Ringo could hear the *Thunk* and the subsequent yelp, then a foreboding growl. He leapt to the roof, slipping into one of the rooms as Lee Yin burst through the door, cursing his name when she didn't see Ringo nearby. The well timed rustling of distant bushes drew her out of the property, by way of "sudden door-ing" the wall.
The hotdog stand/stair was much noisier than any squeaky step, its creaking metal panels catching the attention of everyone at the table. Ringo descended, like that very stand hadn't whizzed past his head. "Hey Ranma. has saying no ever worked?"
"Huh..." All of the memories of glomps, kicks to the face, and that one kiss... flashed through Ranma's mind "Not really" he muttered, a slight shudder at
the last memory.
"You never try to say no often," Akane remarked, arms resting on the opposite end of the table. "Can you really say it doesn't work?"
Ranma scoffed, mirroring Akane "Has it ever worked for you?" He moved his hand too his cheek and smirked.
"Y-uh-well..." The horde of boys certainly didn't get the picture... and her fiancé's suitors don't hear 'no' when assuming she's making a move. With a quick raise of her finger Akane quickly shifting the subject. "Ringo, why did you ask? did that girl have anything to do with it?"
Finally sitting with the family after a relaxed slump he answered "Well I said I didn't want to be married, even if it was fake. Now she wants to kill me." The absurdity of that escalation baffled everyone present.
Nabiki propped her self up from the table, noting the damage from the hotdog stand, the 'terror' caused by Lee Yin's arrival, and a way to blame someone. "You do know how much repairs cost right? and then there's the compensation for my new trauma." a conniving hum later and a sum of all the damages was produced. "Two hundred and eighty five thousand yen for the damages, and seven thousand for the trauma you gave me."
A bead of sweat danced toward his chin, a crooked smile on his face "Is that so..." He started to the door, planning on leaping over the wall the moment there wasn't a roof over his head. But Nabiki stopped him already emitting an air of victory.
"You know... Lee Yin doesn't seem to like having reasons to kill you. What if i told her of your, 'rivalry' with Yukue..." Her smirk was practically glowing with how noticeable it was. "Look I even have a picture!" Somehow she managed to get her hand on street footage of that time Yukue buried her face in Ringo's shirt while being bridal carried. "Such intensity, I can almost feel the, tension." She watched as Ringo tensed his fingers around the picture, before pulling out more. "Keep it, it is a precious memory."
The feather burned brightly, "You wont let this go..." he mutters, glaring at Nabiki "If I survive. I will remember this." *whizzz* he weaved past a spear, its aim a little too far to the right for an ear piercing. *thunk*
"IF!" Lee Yin returned! Growling more intensely than ever. Stomping inside the house, she snatched a photo "You really call this a rivalry! This! This is cuddling!"
"She was sick! and had no balance! And! If she were going to puke I needed to be able to drop her quickly!" He showed a strange haste to explain the situation, but all Lee Yin heard was "It was an absolute necessity to carry her like a bride!" which was twisted, but not wrong.
Adding fuel to the fire Nabiki mentioned one more thing. "He spent four, days, in her room~"
Lee Yin mutely readied her spear and lunged. But a photo hit her in the face, only grazing the top of Ringo's hair. Before she could open her eyes, two tea cups were placed on them. "WHY YOU!" She crashed into the wall, and Ringo made his hasty escape.
Lee Yin dislodged herself from the wall snatching a photo for later investigation and running off to find Ringo yet again.
But this time, he ran to the forest, skipping across the branches before dropping down from a tree stopping in a rather beautiful clearing. "I can't keep this running going." he panted, but the breaths only got deeper till he silently collapsed. Resting his head on some moss he began dozing off into a peaceful nap, possibly his last.
Deeper in the forest, Lee Yin looking at the photo again "I can't believe he didn't mention this Yukue girl earlier..." She swiped at the branch above her, slicing it perfectly. "I will have to apologize to her later." looking at the leaves on the ground, following the trail that seemed to be shaken off of the branches which stopped at a clearing.
A squirrel leaped off of Ringo's head and skittered up the tree once Lee Yin arrived. She lunged in front of Ringo and pointed her spear to his head only to get surprised instead. Ringo was still sleeping peacefully he even had a little drool on his cheek glistening in the sunlight. "...This is stupid...Absolutely stupid!" Lee Yin tossed her hands in the air, stomping toward the tree across from her and flopping down on a larger root.
She looked at the picture, "Even with that poor explanation... he still helped her." She just couldn't find the anger from looking at the picture. "I just showed up one day and married him the next..." She looked back at the increasingly splayed Ringo, a small branch tugging his hair. She rolled her eyes, looking toward the sunset "...I need a new plan... Again." Tapping the handle of her spear on her head, she began brainstorming.
The white light of the moon shone on a miracle, Ringo awoke, alive! and in the same day! He slowly rose from his surprisingly comfortable tree-bed the soft squeaky snore of a squirrel on his head once more. The sudden height startled the squirrel awake, causing it to leap into the trees, probably gone forever.
Ringo stretched his arm sweeping the area behind him for particularly pointy glints. "I'm right here Ringo." A familiar, less piercing voice announced. Lee Yin stood up from her larger root, blinking slowly as Ringo backed away. "I'm not going to kill you... anymore." Ringo visibly slacked, letting out a yawn he was holding.
Ringo scratched his head, kicking at a stone wedged in one of the roots. He thought, clearing his throat "Well... It's not you... it's me-"
In a swift motion her spear cut his cliché apology off and remained pointed at him "It's entirely you." The tip of her spear trembled, then lowered "but, I may have made a hasty decision..." She looked toward the moon nobly, her spear rested on her shoulder. Till Ringo popped in front of her face.
"Are you embarrassed?" He weaved the spear being thrust at his face, but fell on his back from the momentum. He looked up at Lee Yin, only to get a steely stare from the girl.
With a twirl, her spear rested back on her shoulder. "I am. But that doesn't mean call it out!" She confessed "But that doesn't matter." She exhaled deeply "I'm … sorry" came out more as... "Mm mmry." which granted her a sly grin from Ringo but she shut down any mockery with a clench of her spear "You know what I said."
"Apology accepted. or should I say-" Yet again he found himself at the tip of her spear. He really should stop testing how far she is willing to push that thing. But in a less elegant flourish, the spear returned to her shoulder. "...Well if that's all." he stood up, brushing his flowy pants of any grass blades fixing the large bands at the ankles. Lee Yin didn't stop him as he left she just waited till he was gone to look at that photo...
A small smirk that she hadn't had for days played across her face "Plan C." was initiated. Though the silence was cut off by an alarm blaring in her trusty shirt pocket. She slapped on a uniform apron before leaving with a yawn. "Work sucks."