The first sensation felt as he roused from his sleep was the sensation of a hand holding his. No, it wasn't just a hand. Subaru felt that he was embracing someone, or was it that they placed themselves within his grasp?
It didn't matter to him, because he recognized the girl utilizing him as a bed. He could go on how despite being over four-hundred years old, she still acted like a sister wanting to be spoiled rotten by her big brother.
Yes, his partner in crime, his dear contracted Great Yin Spirit, Beatrice was with him. That was all he needed to know for a brief moment of thankfulness that he was not alone.
Alone…?
Hold on. Was it just him and Beatrice? Where was everyone on the carriage? Wait, carriage…?
He opened his eyes, still a bit blurry from sleeping for so long, and looked toward his anchor. Beatrice was facing away from and toward a light that his eyes just now registered and started sending signals toward his brain for imaging.
Looking toward the light, he found what appeared to be a… His sleep-addled brain filled in the gap with the word "Screen." And for a moment, he couldn't make out what it was displaying to him. Only once he sat up, straightened his back, and chased away the last bit of drowsiness inhibiting him that he found a scene capturing what appeared to be the night he was knighted.
At the sight of one his most cherished nights of his life, Subaru missed the sound of a gasp as he watched himself dance with Emilia like a fool. From the outside looking in, he looked like a scrappy young man trying to woo a beautiful, noble girl in a dance he didn't seem to understand would not fit in a higher class setting.
A hand grabbed him, jostling any listless thoughts in his head, and he turned to see who it was. And as soon as he did, his breath was caught in his throat.
It was Rem. Her soft blue hair, almost having him remember a sweet treat for comparison in their hue, covering one of her eyes—just like before, when she was awake—with the other shimmering from building tears.
He couldn't believe it. If he hadn't just woken up a moment ago, he would have written this off as a dream. A cruel yet hope-filled dream. Or perhaps he was lucid dreaming, his mind conjuring up a dream of Rem being awake, of her at his side again after an entire year of just feeling useless for not being able to hunt down Gluttony and get her name and memory back. For being the only one to remember ag—!
"Subaru!"
Before he could do anything, he was suddenly dogpiled by Rem, Beatrice, and…Emilia? Wait, Petra? And Garfiel as well?!
"Oi, what kind of dream has me being crushed here?!" Subaru yelped, unable to help his mouth working faster than his brain at the sudden turn his dream was going.
The culprits of the impending case of having the one and only Natsuki Subaru crushed by an odd group hug just started to laugh despite looking so…tired.
Why do they look so tired?
"What…?" He trailed off. Only now noticing there were other people nearby.
Surrounding him, still within the confines of their own seats as if having a nice break watching movies at the movie theatres while he slept, was Otto, Frederica, Ram, and Roswaal. The latter three confused him further as they were supposed to be back at the mansion, nowhere near the borders of the City of Priestella.
Then he heard noise further away from him and the rest of the Emilia Camp. Stealing his gaze, he turned sharply, taking in the presence of not just Crusch, Wilhelm, and Felix, but some of the other Royal Candidate Camps as well.
"Hey, Hey!" The movie screen, Rem being awake, the others being here while he had no memory of meeting them! It felt like he was dropped into an already ongoing story.
"Exposition for the guy who lost the plot, please ?" He said, slipping the last word into English. His silly attempt of downplaying whatever this was. Afterall, it wouldn't do well to be too carried away in emotions when they could already be ambushed by an enemy stand.
And as soon as he said that, his friends that were still squeezing the life out of him suddenly stilled. Crusch's previously maiden-like expression fell, replaced with the steely determination that she had…a year's time ago.
"Stay silent, Aldebaran" A voice belonging to one Priscilla Barielle cut anyone's voice from projecting out, almost commanding all to pay her mind.
"It appears this drab play is still going on. Hmph, perhaps the little girl will show me another spark?"
A dead silence rang over them, like bells nullifying the very concept of motion until…
"Subaru." Silver bells chimed, "We have so~ much to talk about."
A sudden feeling of unease sprouted from within his stomach. For some reason, he felt like he's in a lot of trouble.Shame..
That was what every cell in Subaru's body was feeling.
Emilia finished explaining what was going on—after making sure that he doesn't explode on the spot from the sheer anxiety building up within him.
They knew now. There was no way they weren't judging him, because now they know. They know that he wasn't all that.
They all know …
Honestly, he agreed. It didn't take a genius to tell that if a useless person like him could at least do something good with Return By Death, then imagine the good a real hero could do.
They all know …
A real hero wouldn't have died believing that the world adhered to a kid's fantasies…
Emilia knows…
A real hero wouldn't have been caught for acting too familiar to people they was supposed to have never met and sow distrust.
Beatrice knows …
A real hero wouldn't have been trying so hard to deny their own uselessness; anyone could've done better than him if they were smarter, faster, or stronger than him—anything to his nothing!
A real hero wouldn't need to consider the path of using their death to save everyone!
Rem knows …
If he was smarter, could he have gone back to the aftermath of the White Whale's subjugation?
If he was faster, could he have gotten to Rem and Crusch before Gluttony found them?
If he was stronger, could he have been able to not let anyone cry anymore?
Ram knows …
She saw it happen. In fact, she was first to let him know something was up with the letter. And he mistook it as a counteraction from the Witch's cult. He was so stu —
"Subaru…" Silver bells chimed, grounding him back into his body. "Look at me…"
So he did. He stared into Emilia's sparkling amethysts, her hands having reached his shoulders, gently giving him a reassuring hold.
He didn't notice this feeling of breathlessness didn't come from Emilia holding onto him but from his own hyperventilating.
"Take a deep breath~"
Huff~ .
"And let it out~"
Pah~ .
" In~ ."
Huff~
" Out~ ."
Pah~ .
"Good job!" She said, sending Subaru a look of reassurance.
It only took Subaru another few moments of slowing down his breathing to notice one particular detail of that encounter.
Eh? Wait a minute…! Didn't that kind of sound like…!
Subaru let that train of thought trail off and derail so that it won't reach its destination. Instead, he looked around to see if he was the only one that had that gutter thought.
Thankfully, none of the rest of the camp seemed to have caught onto it.
Except Ram. Because of course, it was Ram.
Maybe it was written on his face; but the moment they exchanged glances, her expression changed in a way that he could only describe as shifting through the five stages of grief before returning to neutrality.
And then she sighed. A long, drawn out, but nevertheless somewhat disappointed sigh.
Great.
Now the shame came back, but for a different reason.
"Wait, nee-sama! It's not what you think! P-please!"
She took a breath and sighed even harder.
"You're going to sigh all your life's happiness away, Ram!" He cried, heat flooding into his face and at the tip of his ears, not unlike a certain angelic elf would.
"Eh? Subaru?" Emilia blinked at his sudden shift. She then shifted her gaze from him to Ram, as if that would clue her in to the source of his embarrassment. "Ram?"
In her divine mercy, Ram didn't say a word. Although, judging by the muffled laughter coming from Garfiel, it wouldn't have made a difference, damn it!
Whether they were humoring him so that the air wasn't so heavy, he knew he couldn't run away from this.
He breathed in once more, held it, and blew any more paralyzing anxiety away.
I'm ready…
"So…" Despite everything, his efforts and his failings, talking still seemed so daunting.
"Where do we go from here?" He called out to the rest of the people in the room. Silently thanking them for letting him and Emilia have this little moment. He always cherished those…
"Hm." Emilia countenance turned serious, directing a look at the rest of the candidates and their people. Subaru couldn't see what kind of message her eyes were hinting at to them, but the way their expressions grew stern in turn…
This is not going to be easy , he thought. And yet, nothing worth doing was.
Emilia turned back to him, gazing into his eyes like she was trying to find something as she rolled her jaw. Honestly, it was kind of…
Oh, come on! Focus!
"Subaru, do you still want to be my knight?"
"Emilia…?" He mumbled, his heart felt like it was cracking.
Of course, after watching what he had been doing, why wouldn't she—
"Will you continue to be my support, after everything you've gone through, knowing the path ahead will likely be just as deadly as before?" She cut through what was likely going to be another downward spiral in his head.
He looked deeper into her eyes, noticing there wasn't any approval or disapproval.
"If you want to retire, then I won't stop you. I'll accommodate any need, and I won't just disappear from your life. You could become a butler for the mansion again, or maybe you could become a tailor.
"However… If you want to keep being my knight during my campaign for the throne, can you accept that it won't be any safer than all the troubles we faced before? That despite all of us putting our minds and strengths together, it may not be enough…"
Emilia trailed off, the mask cracking as a tremor creeped into both her voice and stance.
"I-I'll never approve of that power, but I know I'll never have the strength to make the world the safest place for you. So, tell me… If you still choose to follow me, then…"
She straightened her back, maybe trying to stamp out any weakness within her.
"I vow that I will be one of many shoulders for you to lean on, to cry on." Strength came back to her voice: "So that this time, even if we can't share every secret, we will support each other on our burdens."
Even if we couldn't solve them for each other… He could almost hear that last part.
It didn't occur to him that he could probably tell everyone himself what he had gone through. What he felt, what he thought, what he regretted…
Why couldn't have been able to tell them himself? Instead, they saw it through a damn movie screen. Even just telling someone, with his face becoming even uglier from the tears he would no doubt shed, would mean so much to him.
Or rather, why hadn't he confided anything else to them.
How he felt growing up trying to be his father's son. How he felt so desperate to give up on "Natsuki Subaru" and be "Subaru Natsuki" to them. How…
"There's so much I want to tell you all…" He said, mustering just a modicum of courage to get his feelings across. "And I don't mean only about…that"
He could almost feel the collective flinch that his friends made at the allusion of Return By Death.
Subaru matched Emilia's unease. "I want to live up to the expectations that hang around my shoulders, not because I don't care for my life, but because that is the knight I want to be."
After all, Subaru couldn't find out what his life was worth if he stopped. If he just quit because it would be easier, he knew he'd regret it. That was not who he, Natsuki Subaru, wanted to be.
Saving people, making sure that rather than a sad ending, repeated all over the world again and again, a happy ending where they could cry in relief...
Cry…? He thought, focusing on that thought for a second longer.
Yes, because tears did not necessarily mean there was sorrow.
"And I can't get there alone." Subaru said, a shy half-smile slid into place. "So, Your Soon-to-be-Majesty, can you help this dunderhead of a knight reach those heights with your most dependable camp?"
Emilia let out something between a sigh of relief and an incredulous laugh. She still looked weary, like she had aged faster than the last few days would normally entail. But her smile made everything feel like it could be better.
She turned around and then addressed everyone else here outside of our camp: "We now know what he wants, what he has chosen. Are any of you going to deny that it should be just an exclusive affair for my camp?"
Crusch met Emilia's steel with some of her own. "This will break him; Subaru-dono cannot possibly be able to endure any more of—of this!"
She waved her hand around, pointing out what Subaru had no idea. But if he put his mind to it, he would realize that there were many secrets that didn't revolve around his ability.
Roswaal, Echidna, Satella…
Even he knew that such a deep involvement with witches in Emilia's camp would bring about severe setbacks. And if this trend would escalate further…
Actually, wasn't the future looking pretty bleak?
"He does not belong in the battlefield," Crusch said, looking gravely concerned about his well-being.
Then she pointedly fixed her attention to Rem. "What reason does he have to go after the Witch's Cult now?"
He could say anything and it'd probably wouldn't convince Crusch why he had to keep going. Why couldn't he just stop now that Crusch and Rem were here, as if Gluttony's hold over them was gone? And honestly, he didn't have an answer other than to prevent it from happening ever again. And maybe that could have worked if it weren't for the fact the Witch's Cult was notoriously difficult to find and kill.
Propose that after leaving this place, Rem and Crusch were cured. What reason did he have if Gluttony was no longer important?
And he wasn't the only one thinking that.
"Betty had thought she wouldn't need to remind all of you, I suppose." Beatrice stepped in front of him, staring down Crusch despite the size difference.
She glanced back at him before quickly turning back to the Valkyrie. "An Authority took hold of Betty's memories of…Rem several days after she was eaten. And I doubt that rogue Observer could enforce such a convenient loophole away from its peers' gazes, in fact."
Oh…
Crusch stilled at Beako's words. So did Wilhelm and Ferris.
Today had a lot of ups and downs, didn't it? So, Rem will just go back to…
"Just give me some time, please !" He cried out. He didn't know if it was toward the so-called "Observer" or Crusch. He frankly didn't care. Just for a moment again with her…
In his words, Crusch recovered herself. "I see…"
Slowly, the verdant-haired walked away for a bit, but turned to him for a moment: "Out those doors, there were rooms we used to rest in. That should give you enough privacy… My apolo—"
The sound of a finger snap made itself known with such sharpness that he almost mistaken it with the sound of a whip.
Startled, Subaru looked around hastily for its source. But it was the sound of a gasp that caught his attention.
Petra had covered her mouth with her hands, looking at something…
No, not just something…
Subaru looked toward where the anomalous movie screen was displayed and found only a single word across it.
There was a tense silence in the theatre room after the reveal of another part of this eerie play soon to be witnessed. Subaru and Rem had gone into one of the other rooms for privacy. But Emilia hadn't been worried about that. After so long of not seeing Rem awake, she had no doubt that this moment would mean the world to him.
And in fairness, it was the least that Emilia could do. If not for Rem's impassioned speech to Subaru, she and a lot of other people would be dead. It scared her how close he was to giving up on her and running away, how close it was that the Emilia that would take her last breath forever would be the one that still believed the world despised her for her appearance.
Granted, the fight that split them apart for a time was only a matter of time. For a person you were so close with, there were some things you could accept and others you couldn't. Humiliating her in front of everyone at the beginning of the royal selection and breaking their promise was not something that she can just forgive with an insincere apology or a flimsy excuse.
However, after watching the events of Subaru's life from his perspective, she found that she was also a frustrating woman to be with. She imposed her belief of being hated onto others without asking what their thoughts were. She placed too much faith in others and had not truly connected with them despite how much time they spent together. She…
Emilia shook her head in admonishment, realizing the thought pattern that she was going down through. It was easy to wallow in hypotheticals and self-reprimand after being here for so long, feeling as though every choice made was wrong, invalid; knowing how a different mindset could be the deciding factor of whether everyone would live or not.
Yet not even that could defy the die that was cast.
The small bit of confidence Emilia nurtured within herself during her talk with Subaru threatened to fizzle out but she held on. With him awake, she had to take charge, lead, do something to push through what may lie ahead…
A voice echoed from her memory, I love you . It had been laced with so much sorrow, joy and obsession that it threatened to eat away at her own self-image. The voice chanted that phrase as if the meaning of the words were all that mattered in the world. The Witch of Envy, Satella, bore a face and voice exactly like hers, and she hated it.
She hated her.
A witch that could not love others properly, cursing the object of their twisted affections with the ability to survive a world not their own with the prerequisite being to die in whatever hopeless circumstance they were in. Uncaring of the fact that he might have had unfinished business or did not want to leave their home behind.
And he promised to save that witch… One thing at a time. They would have a conversation with everyone later. First things first…
A subtle click could barely be heard, but for everyone in the room, it was louder than lightning.. It was the signal to continue their talk.
"So," Felt drawled, "you're really going through with this?"
What "this" was could be summarized as a difference in Subaru's…handling. It still didn't sit right with her to address it that way, as if he was a fire crystal in the road waiting to be detonated by any external force, but Emilia couldn't really deny that the nature of Subaru's Authority of Envy was a corrupting force. It reinforced ways of thinking that were actively detrimental, blurring the lines between what was acceptable or not with their powers.
If Subaru had given his everything to survive or was caught unaware and was killed, then that was—Emilia stomped down the impulse curl into herself—acceptable. Despite how much everyone would want to protest that nothing bad would warrant that situation again, with the sole exception of Reinhard, none of the people that were here could guarantee that they would always have a fighting chance against whatever the world threw at them.
Although some of them were above the normal standard, the opponents shown were very non-standard, breaking the scale entirely.
However, if Subaru ever went too far to save everyone within his sight, he could very well become a shell of his former self, inflicting wound upon wound to his heart to reach his "happy ending" with everyone by his side.
Yes, Envy could twist love into something unrecognizable. That was why…
"Is there really~ any other way this could have gone~, Felt-sama?" Roswaal said with a wink, showing his yellow eye.
"Shut it, clown!" Felt's eyes turned to glare at him.
"Give me one good reason why you should walk a free man?" Crusch sneered. "All this time… All this time! You had that cursed grimoire that could have saved the Royal Family! Plan the course to kill the Archbishops, Witch Cult, Great Witchbeast! Yet you refuse to live for anything but yourself and a dead woman, for four hundred years!"
Emilia almost flinched from Crusch's words. When it was revealed that Roswaal's Book of Wisdom could predict the future with such finesse, it put a strain between their camps' alliance. She couldn't blame her, devoting over four hundred years of his life, his descendants' lives, for his goal of resurrecting a forgotten witch, Echidna, was unnerving. The flames of his ardor sent fear to all as they witnessed his actions. Fear, as well as outrage.
"Oh my~!" Roswaal said, dragging his words out still as if Crusch's words hadn't bothered him at all. "Now, that would not be wise~, Karsten-sama~. Accusing a fellow countryman like myself~ with such a crime as treason~ would look quite suspicious, no~?"
This is it…
"Nyew don't have the ground to stand on, nya!" Ferris yelled. "Once Reinhard and Crusch-sama get nyew on trial, nyer're through! Good luck, trying to worm nyer way out of that, nyew snake!"
At Ferris's words, Wilhelm took his turn to speak then. "The connection with a Witch of Greed, the origin of Sphinx's birth, and ties to underground assassination commissions…" Wilhelm breathed in a heavy breath. "The affairs of the Mathers family… Any individual charge could ruin your reputation!"
If Crusch and Ferris' outrage was from loyalty to the deceased Royal Family, Wilhelm's was from the betrayal of an old friend long since passed, revealing their true colors… Emilia could not even begin to imagine such pain that came from that realization.
There wasn't any other way…
"Crusch… Crusch-san," Emilia said, trying to ignore her heart from cracking, "I ask now, let this remain a matter private to my camp alone."
Crusch snapped her head in my direction. "Why?" Her face twisted into a look of betrayal. "How could you ask something like that from me, Emilia-sama? After everything he has done?!"
"If I lose Roswaal as my backer—"
"Then what of the talks we had about merging our camps? To oust Mathers from his status and put him away for everything he had done?" She shot back.
Emilia could feel the gazes of her camp behind her; however, she could feel Roswaal's smile as he watched.
"I can't make such a decision so one-sidedly…" Emilia's voice never felt so hollow.
"None of ya trust him! Anyone can see it, sis! Any goodwill he had with any of them is gone! Letting the Witch Cult wipe out those sisters' villages, the Bowel Hunter's commissions, luring the Great Rabbit to the people of Sanctuary—all of these have shown that he cannot be trusted! To hell with that soul pact shit!" Felt yelled, her face turning red from breathlessness and rage. "If it's a sponsor ya want, then have my help. Hell, isn't there that Miload kid? Screw this sicko!"
"Felt—"
"Ya didn't want to even be queen in the first place! Ya just wanted to get your family back, yeah? So why are ya just keeping things like this?"
"I want to win!" Emilia screamed as if the words were a scathing, reprehensible curse. "If I just give up on the selection, I'll betray everyone~ ! Who! Trusted me!"
"What the hell are ya saying…" Felt mumbled in disbelief. "Am I hearin' this shit right?"
"I won't take the easy way out just because I can't work with someone I can't forgive! I won't give up because he did horrible things for the sake of my candidacy! I won't give up because I was a stupid, spoiled little girl!"
Subaru had died and reset time again and again because she was not enough, that she didn't take this seriously and thought studying alone could get me the crown. She wanted to win through her and her camps' efforts, not because Subaru carried it all on his own.
"That is not possible, Emilia!" Crusch yelled. "I thought when the Witch Cult's attacked the Mather's domain, it gave you an important lesson…" Crusch said, her stare pierced through her. "Empty promises have no other use than deception."
Emilia knew what she meant. Before the Witch Cult first attacked, she had all but threatened the Council of Wise Men to give her a chance to participate in the Royal Selection with Puck, the Beast of the End. And when that sort of strength mattered the most, she was one of the last ones to die, not having saved a single person. She was being coddled too much, by both Puck and…Subaru. Her actions made a liar out of her.
Even so… Even so!
With this shame, she wanted to stand up straight. With this, she wanted to hope that she could be better. With this shame… No, not just that… With their help, she wanted to be trustworthy.
"I know that, Crusch-san." She said, raising her eyes to meet her friend's. "However, I have to do this. The Emilia they've put their faith in will truly be gone if I just accept such an easy path."
"Ya're gonna lead 'em all to their deaths," Felt said. "So yer just gonna take a deal with some wanna-be devil over us?"
"I'm not refusing to help each other, not at all. There's still the matter of Gluttony for Crusch-san and Rem. I just refuse to give up running for queendom in exchange for that help."
"Your negligence will put Subaru-sama to death, again and again." Crusch said.
"That may very well happen, but I will not allow Roswaal to be the cause. I'm nowhere strong enough to promise his safety, but I cannot decide for Subaru what he can or cannot do."
"Letting Subaru-dono fight on would be no different than asking him to embrace his curse!" Wilhelm interjected, his brow furrowed in frustration.
"Ah~, I believe I know who you really mean~!" Roswaal's voice sung an itching tune within his words.
Perhaps Wilhelm felt that as well. "Hold your tongue, snake…"
Roswaal paid no heed to Wilhelm's subtle growl. "And yet~ aren't there some glaring differences between those two~?"
"Silence."
"After all~, despite how fond of her I am, there was always~ a part of her that I could not stand~."
"Julia!"
"Subaru-kun may share Theresia's inclination for normalcy, but was your wife not a coward?" He said, dropping the musical quality in his voice.
"Take those words back!" Wilhelm raged.
"Oh? Is that what she did not vile? So scared of the battlefield that she left the burden to her uncle and brothers, each one dying needlessly in her stead. Neither sorrow or rage could get her to move her sword, only the fear of losing her beloved Wilhelm Trias had."
Wilhelm's eyes screamed with killing intent, but Roswaal's gaze did not waver, his smile long gone and replaced with a face of discontent.
"Subaru may be moved by his love for Emilia-sama; however, he did not limit his care to just Emilia alone. He held onto a broken blade for the sake of a memory that only he could remember, for people he refused to allow to be in harm's way." Roswaal then put a hand to his cheek, tilting his head to the side. "I wonder… Would Reinhard have been alone with just his father if Theresia had just tried to fight so that she would not lose anyone else again? If she had held her sword with the same conviction you and Subaru-kun had, could she have been able to save her father from Stride?"
"Subaru-dono will not survive the fight that will come ahead!" Wilhelm growled, eyes glaring with such anger that one could mistake them red in color. "He would have more luck training in the Flow Method, seeing how he threw away any regard for his own gate! Beatrice-sama may be a Great Spirit of Yin; but unlike other spirits, she cannot draw from the mana around her nor can she disperse to conserve her energy. No matter how much mana Subaru-dono stores, it would only take a single encounter to deplete her reserves."
The Flow Method, a mana circulation technique that allowed warriors to exhibit enhanced feats of strength, endurance, agility, and perceptiveness. Proficient practitioners were capable of extrapolating some of the basic aspects of the Flow Method into advanced techniques like the one Reinhard used against Elsa in the loot house, imbuing his sword with mana to unleash a devastating slash.
Despite Subaru's now defective gate, he could still use it to an extent to perceive the battles around him instead of just seeing blurs. In fact, Subaru had enough talent in the Flow Method to subconsciously utilize during the Ulgrams' attack, allowing him to endure the Witchbeasts' bites long enough to be rescued by Rem. Unfortunately, that still left the large majority of warriors more than capable of cutting him down without issue.
"Even if the Sword Saint had trained Subaru-kun with any of his Divine Protections, it would still take several years for Subaru-kun to be able to hold his own. Aldebaran had been in this world for over twenty years and still wouldn't be above the average knight of the Imperial Army in skill. Time that Subaru-kun would not be allowed to have."
Roswaal matched Wilhelm's glare with his own. "His gate never had any potential to be a considerable factor. He had more mana than I had as Julia Mathers yet still would not compare to me during the Demi-Human War! Limited as Beatrice may be by her contractor, do not look down on her capabilities!"
Anastasia clapped her hands once, then twice, gathering the attention of everyone here. "We got a bit sidetracked, don't ya can agree?"
She traced her hand across her white fox scarf draped over her shoulders before she began speaking: "Now, I understand ya'll are bent out of shape about this, but I think I need to remind ya'll one very important thing…"
Anastasia smiled in the direction of Felt and Crusch yet it didn't reach her eyes. Out of all the royal candidates, she did not inspire much intimidation when it came to physical presence. If this were a business venture, then that smile would likely give its recipient a chilling impression.
"Demandin' without givin' ain't good for positive relations, ya hear? Now, I understand havin' partners with dubious connections can put ya in unease, but there is no reason we can't talk this out like adults."
Felt bristled, "Yer seriously takin' the clown's side here?!"
"No way! I'm just sayin' we don't hafta decide it all here and now when we're all tense. Why not have a break? A trip to Priestella will be easy on the soul. And once we had some time to ourselves, we can come back to this"
Priscilla hummed. "My divine self has yet to enjoy the sights this city has to offer. This dog show has taken enough of my time already."
"I will not stand calling what to do with a national traitor a mere 'dog show'!" Crusch glared at Priscilla.
However, Priscilla didn't even take offense to it, simply looking down on Crusch with apathy. "Quiet the barking. Else your steel will become nothing more than cheap iron. Then I'll have Aldebaran deal with you."
"Oi, oi, Princess!" Aldebaran waved his hand in denial. "I don't know if I can take on the old man and the girl!" Priscilla didn't seem to care about his assertions though…
Anastasia called for attention once again, smothering any further attempt to drag this on. "So, we're in agreement, yeah? We'll cool off and resume at a later time!" She spoke in a tone that did not care for disagreement.
Crusch, Felt, and their respective camps looked agitated with such a casual tone, but seeing as they were outnumbered three to two they could not continue to push back.
Emilia looked back at Anastasia, perplexed at her siding with her in a way. She had thought she would agree with Crusch and Felt for the reason of removing her sponsor and crippling her run in the candidate race. Instead, she sent a discrete wink in her direction, giving her the impression that she had her own motive.
It was no secret that Emilia had lost the trust of Anastasia, Crusch, and Felt during the showing of the first week Subaru spent in the mansion; her lack of leadership skills in her own camp did not inspire respect toward her character. In that respect, Emilia agreed wholeheartedly, seeing how she put off a meeting with other nobles to meet with Anastasia for Puck's pyroxene crystal only days ago.
Emilia could be accurately described as a young princess who was just barely learning the nuances of leading a kingdom. In hindsight, referring others as young compared to her age felt like a child using seniority by including fractions onto the number. She never had any room to talk. After all, she only ever slept in the time she was within the ice, not truly matching the level of maturity that a half-elf her age should exhibit.
The Emilia who would have kept her promise from the start and ran away instead of going back to try and break the seal… If she had been able to leave by herself, what would her life have been now… Would she be a woman that could stand up straight in her circumstances?
It was easy to think of hypotheticals once one realized that time itself could be changed, imagining only the positives while ignoring the potential drawbacks that such an event would result in. Easy to denounce the actions of one's past self, to take responsibility for another version of one's self's actions, to doubt one's core in a thought up future—all of these thoughts had done nothing but erode at Emilia's and her friends' faith in themselves.
But this would not break them. She refused to crumble at the fact that she was not infallible in her integrity to allow herself to give up on herself and others. She would be no better than a walking corpse if she did that.
"Thank you, Anastasia-san." She said cordially, giving her a small nod in gratitude without allowing herself to become too familiar. "I hope our prior business has not been canceled, then?"
"Mm? Are you sure you wouldn't like a break first?"
"No, a break would do my friends and I some good. However, I would still like to make sure our matters from before still have relevance."
"Don't worry, I intend to make sure we leave with what we want from each other." Anastasia stood up from her seat and made her way to the hallway filled with rooms.
Anastasia exchanged a glance with Julius and Ricardo. What the gaze intended to convey, Emilia didn't know. "My camp and I will be in our room since the next show usually takes a while to get ready. We'll come back once it rings its bell, 'kay?"
Emilia nodded, watching the Anastasia camp leave the screening room without another word.
Felt and Reinhard decided to leave as well, though not without casting a distrusting look at Emilia and her entourage. Their feelings on the matter of Subaru's well-being were clear and appreciated, truly. But she will not bend.
Crusch, Ferris, and Wilhelm walked toward the door slowly, eyes sharp with anger. Backing out of her desire to arrest Roswaal for her own reasons had strained their relationship. But that was always going to happen, throwing a tantrum mid-way of the screening, driven only by emotion, was always going to bite her in the behind.
Suddenly, looking down at her feet was the most interesting thing in the world.
"Emilia," a brilliant radiance called her name. "Is looking down an attempt to garner pity from my divine self?"
A folding fan lifted Emilia's head by the chin, forcing her to stare into the crimson eyes of Priscilla Barielle.
"No, I just…" Emilia words trailed off, her gaze shiftin