Although the two of them had their past, she did things that wronged him, even knowingly committing acts that would hurt him which he never would allow someone close to him to do. Yet, she did it anyway, relying on the adoration he had for her back then.
Perhaps this is what is meant by pushing oneself to the edge of a cliff and jumping regardless of the consequences.
It's not like they hated the sight of each other upon meeting, but this being the third time she's seen him since returning to the country, she felt as though she had become detestable in his eyes.
