"I just like eating field mice," the Count protested. "It's not like I'm into live mice! Where am I supposed to swipe dozens for you?!"
"Then let's start with twenty," Cohen suggested, lowering his demands.
"Why not buy them?" the Count reasoned earnestly. "You've got so much money—few mice won't break the bank…"
"Good idea…" Cohen replied with a nod. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a small pile of silver sickles, adding, "Buying is way more efficient than catching, so take this change and go get them."
"I knew it… Wait—a sec—you're only ditching my mouse-catching scheme because it's inefficient, right? You don't like me anymore; you've got a new little snake thing to fawn over…" the Count said dejectedly.
"Don't talk nonsense," Cohen chuckled as he ruffled the Count's hair. "I've never liked you in the first place."
If the Wish-Granting House had a heartbeat, it surely wouldn't have witnessed an owl and a Dementor duking it out like that.
In the end, Cohen came out on top—since the Count didn't dare actually use his claws and mouth (any scratch on Cohen would have let those liquid curses stick to him), so he settled for flapping his wings and smacking Cohen's face instead.
After the Count took off with his money bag to buy mice, Cohen tidied up his schoolbag and got ready for class.
His plan with Voldemort to "frame Harry and then kill him" might not go as smoothly anymore. Harry now sticks to crowded places, and since he no longer has to sneak around with Ron and Hermione researching compound potions (thanks to Cohen handing over a direct way to buy them), he's been breaking school rules a lot less.
Harry—actually not breaking the rules anymore? What a crazy thought…
"Gryffindor loses ten points."
During the afternoon potions class, Snape said coldly, "Because you wasted potion ingredients, Mr. Potter." His clipped "Mr. Potter" came out like he was accusing Harry of committing some unspeakable atrocity.
After class, Harry was fuming. "What exactly counts as 'not wasting ingredients'? Should I just vomit out a whole cauldron of Confusion Potion?"
"Then he'd dock you fifty points for acting disgusting in class," Cohen replied. "Cheer up—the class only lasts so long, and at least he only took ten points this time."
"Snape hasn't done that just once or twice," Hermione agreed, nodding. "And here's some good news—I've got a lead on the monster in the Chamber of Secrets."
"What?!" both Harry and Ron cried out.
"What?" Cohen played dumb. "Does this mean I finally get to know what that perverted creature crawling into my bed really is?"
"Come with me," Hermione said, leading the trio toward the fifth floor, where the library was. "But you might have to borrow the books yourselves—I've already hit my weekly limit."
"But it's Monday!" Ron exclaimed, eyes wide.
"It's Monday afternoon," Hermione corrected. "I already borrowed seven books this morning and haven't even finished them, Ron. If I return them, someone else might snag them, and then I'd have to wait another week."
"I bet your next words will be, 'Only four months until finals,'" Cohen said sagely.
"Less than four months," Hermione replied.
The task of borrowing books was left to Cohen—after all, he was "really itching to study that creature that crawls on his bed" (although, in reality, he was just preparing a pretext for his new glasses that would supposedly neutralize the snake monster's deadly gaze).
*Legendary Monsters and Their Characteristics*
Cohen managed to borrow the book—since there hadn't been a fourth attack in ages, the students had pretty much lost interest in figuring out what the monster really was.
They ended up in an empty classroom, where Cohen thumped the hefty old book onto the desk.
"Pages 177 and 327," Hermione recited, even remembering the exact numbers. "I think these two creatures are our prime suspects—although one of them is so huge, it probably couldn't even squeeze into the boys' dorms."
"So big?" Ron raised an eyebrow. "A giant?"
"Then the victim would end up as minced meat instead of just petrified, Ron," Harry remarked.
"Page 177…" Cohen muttered as he flipped to that page.
"Gorgons? (I mean, snake-haired women?)"
"Three gorgons, a snake-haired woman, Sisina, Yuriaeli, and Medusa," Hermione explained. "But Medusa never grows—everyone who looks directly at her turns to stone."
"Even though those people were 'petrified,' they don't exactly turn into actual stone…" Harry observed.
"And besides, if a never-growing girl crawled into my bed, I'd definitely notice," Cohen said. "I reckon it's a greasy male, all covered in scales."
"It's not some 'never-growing girl,'" Hermione shook her head. "Gorgons are massive—even Medusa stands at least ten feet tall. Think of Hagrid, for instance."
"I'm totally bummed now," Ron sighed.
"Don't fill my head with weird images—ahhhh!" Cohen shrieked, "You're not the ones getting crawled on!"
"I wasn't really worried about it," Hermione continued, "because it's most likely in Egypt or Africa. There were newspaper reports of Gorgon sightings. Meanwhile, the monster in the Chamber has been at Hogwarts for over a thousand years."
"Next, page 327, right?" Cohen said as he flipped ahead. "Snake monster."
Not very realistic.
Cohen thought the illustration looked way too fierce—definitely not matching the laid-back vibe of Sissoko.
"Snake monster—also known as the Snake King," Hermione pointed to the text. "This snake can grow to enormous sizes and usually lives for several hundred years. It hatches from a rooster's egg, incubated by a toad."
"The snake monster's killing method…" Harry scanned the section Hermione was indicating, "besides its lethal fangs, its stare can kill. But no one here has died, and we can't possibly fight a creature that kills with just one glance…"
"Because none of the victims actually met its gaze, death was reduced to petrification—very similar to Medusa's effect," Hermione said wisely. "Remember? When Filch's cat was killed, the floor underneath was all wet—it must have seen the snake monster through the water. And when Cohen and I found Filch, he was staring into a mirror, looking like he'd seen a ghost—"
"Colin!" Harry suddenly raised his voice. "Yes—everything connects now—Colin was holding a camera, and the film inside was completely melted!"
"An ugly giant snake slithering around the school…" Ron shuddered.
"Actually, it's pretty cool," Cohen corrected Ron's mistaken view. "It's even smoother than Norbert—of course, if it doesn't kill anyone."
"The sounds that Harry and Cohen heard are coming from within the walls," Hermione noted. "Guess what's inside Hogwarts' walls?"
"Stone bricks?" Ron ventured.
"Pipes…" Hermione sighed at Ron's slow wit. "Why do you always get it wrong?"
"Because that makes you happy," Ron suddenly had an epiphany.
"You always end up with the right answer," he added.
Hermione just stared at Ron in astonishment.
"I mean, when you're happy, you let us copy your homework," Ron blurted out.
"…"
Shaking her head in disappointment, Hermione got back on track. "Think about it: the monster was left in the Chamber by Salazar Slytherin. The Chamber is definitely underground at Hogwarts, and the basement is where all the school's pipes converge. That's why the snake monster can appear anywhere in the castle. Plus, Cohen's owl helped me fetch *Hogwarts: A History* from home, and the book mentions that Slytherin had the most infamous parseltongue."
"What snake?" Harry asked.
"Parseltongue," Hermione clarified. "The ability to speak with snakes—so that's how Slytherin controlled the snake monster. It fits the description of the creature in the Chamber almost perfectly, and it can even squeeze into Gryffindor's dormitory."
"I can talk to snakes too…" Harry suddenly remembered. "I once had a chat with a snake at the zoo—it said it had never been to Brazil…"
"I can too," Cohen said. "I just adopted a little snake—could that be why we're hearing noises from the walls?"
"That makes it even more plausible," Hermione nodded. "But I read that Parseltongue is supposed to be really rare—so why is it that half of us here can speak it?"
"Maybe that book is outdated," Harry guessed.
"Then why would it target Cohen?" Ron asked. "I mean, if it got into the dorms, shouldn't it have gobbled us all up?"
"Maybe I just have a magnetic pull for magical creatures," Cohen replied. "First Norbert and the unicorn, then the Thestral—and now a snake monster."
"You should count yourselves lucky you turned off the lights that night," Hermione said with a shudder. "If any of you had seen its eyes…."
"We need to go tell Professor Dumbledore," Harry said. "Can he handle the snake monster?"
"Dumbledore could take on that snake monster in a heartbeat," Cohen replied. "He could kill nine in a second—as long as he knew where it was hiding."
——
Dumbledore clearly doesn't know where the snake monster is hiding, or else he would've taken care of that old snake ages ago.
Still, Harry dragged the three of them to the Headmaster's office to relay the news.
Dumbledore gave Cohen a relieved look—as if he thought Cohen had just betrayed the snake monster's secret to his friends, a sort of twisted act of loyalty.
But things weren't as simple as Dumbledore thought. That very night, coincidentally, Voldemort came looking for Cohen.
"The snake monster has awakened," Voldemort's voice emerged from another book that had been delivered.
"Awakened, huh? I don't have time to explain," Cohen said, "let's hurry up and freeze our hands!" 😎
*(End of Chapter)*
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