Amias awoke after who knows how long and stared ahead. he was covered in a hide of some animal and was lying against a large moose, which seemed quite pleased, raising its head and giving him a lick before resting its head against the ground once more. A fire crackled in front of him, something cooking over it. The scent was strangely pleasant, like the ocean, mild and slightly sweet, yet distinctly fishy.
As his eyes adjusted, he noticed a man behind the makeshift campfire crafted from bones and guts. The masked man sat beside it, holding out his arm over the flames. In his hand, a piece of fish sizzled as it cooked. His skin burned, blistering in the fire, but he didn't seem fazed at all. Amias, still overwhelmed and disoriented, instinctively curled closer to the moose for comfort before recognizing the mask as the man spoke.
"Are you awake?" he asked gently.
Amias knew it was Tobi, but he didn't want to acknowledge that, not right now. He didn't want to think at all. He just needed a moment. Tobi seemed to understand and returned to quietly tending the fish. The silence stretched on for about an hour, broken only by the occasional crackle of the fire.
Finally, Amias sat up, brows furrowed. He glanced at Tobi's arm and raised an eyebrow.
"Y-Your arm?" he mumbled.
Tobi followed his gaze, then chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, it's unfortunately gone. I cauterized it already," knocking on his stumped arm.
"S-Shouldn't you have more of a reaction than 'it's unfortunately gone?" Amias asked, confused.
Tobi only shrugged. "Oh, don't worry about it, Amias. Compared to how you've changed, it's not that remarkable."
Amias blinked and looked down at himself. He had changed. His skin was now ghostly pale, glowing faintly like something divine. His once-messy white hair shimmered faintly in the light. His features were sharply chiselled and his jaw bore the beginnings of stubble, though that was probably just because of age. But his eyes... they glowed with a haunting, deathly grey, even if he couldn't see that.
"Wow, A-Amazing," he whispered, genuinely amazed looking at himself. It was kind of chilling, really, though, how much he's changed.
The fish continued to sizzle in his hand, now slightly charred against his seared flesh. Calmly, he brought it to his mask and used his thumb to press the mask up before taking a bite. Then, just as casually, he let his arm drop again and finally responded.
"That it is," Tobi agreed. "You've changed drastically. When I first woke up, you were… quite the image. What happened?"
"Oh, that's... kind of complicated," Amias muttered. "I-I don't really want to say."
Tobi turned to look at him, brown eyes deep and unreadable behind the mask.
"Amias, we don't have much else to do," Tobi said honestly.
"I-I don't want to."
Neither spoke for a second; the embers dwindled slightly, and then Tobi spoke again.
"You can choose to be alone, if that's what you want," he murmured quietly. The fire crackled a moment longer before going out completely. The only sound was the hiss as the cold crept immediately, settling deep in Amais's bones. Once there was silence, Tobi continued.
"The feeling won't fade, the wanting, the yearning for something just out of reach. You'll go mad chasing it. And when you finally find it... you won't know what to do with it. So say it now, before you get there."
Amias let out a small, honest laugh. "I think I already have."
"No. You haven't," Tobi replied flatly.
"I can't do it Tobi I… I don't know how," he admits honestly.
Tobi nodded, looking at him. "That's ok, just think about it."
"I can't," Amais said again but Tobi laughed softly, but there was no joy in it, just recognition.
"I didn't have a purpose for a while, like you, Amais but eventually I found one and everything else had faded to not. I became empty of that meaning because I believed it so fervently I learned to wonder. It crawled so deep down I didn't think I would live for anything else.
I became Death.
Death to all who come to me
Death to all I go to
Death to myself."
His words hung in the air, heavy with something unspoken. His voice wasn't cold to wound. It was cold like a void, like the absence of emotion, not the denial of it.
"Despite all of that, I lived a dream that had made me human and I learned to live," he murmured softly and honestly.
Amais's voice came quieter, smaller. "How?"
Tobi looked at him. "Sometimes you can't save yourself. Tell someone you need to be saved."
"I-I can't," Amais said hoarsely, trying to speak
"It's hard, and it always will be," the usually cold hunter said somberly, patting the boy's back in an attempt at solace.
Amais hesitated, then blurted it all out: messy, tangled, real.
"I-I mean, this was a while ago, like a really long while ago in the tree. I fought a shadow. He gave me Ichor. There were corpses… a river of blood… it was horrifying. I wanted to run, but it wouldn't let me. So I laughed. I fought. I think I went insane.
And I lost.
But he was amused and gave me the Ichor anyway. I drank it, hoping it would save me. It didn't.
But then you did.
And then… I don't even know when, maybe today or before or after or something that doesn't make sense, I got eaten. Like, actually eaten alive.
But I can't die, so it just… kept eating. Over and over. I was inside it and kept regenerating.
And I survived. I got really fucking strong.
But it still sucks.
And there's this girl. She's nice. Like… really nice. She's the first person who's looked at me like I matter or, like, just looked at me, I guess. And now you… I don't even know what you are to me, but you're important too.
I found people.
But I'm still hurt.
And the pain just throbs.
And...
And I don't know what to do," he said honestly, his voice cracking under the weight of truth as he buried his head in his hands and the moose licked him softly as its form of comfort.
Tobi was quiet for a second. Then murmured...
"You got eaten alive for days and didn't go completely insane. That's pretty fucking cool, Amais."
It was blunt and unexpected hearing him swear.
Amais blinked, then laughed. It bubbled out of him, shaking his chest. The absurdity and honesty behind the statement had cracked something open.
The fire beside them sparked and crackled, casting warmth across the night like hope.
"You did that on purpose," Amais grinned through his laugh. "See? You do have feelings."
"Of course I do," Tobi replied, a small laugh slipping from behind his mask. "I am just really good at hiding them," he laughed.
But the laugh didn't reach his eyes.
Because that's all it was.
A mask with a smile.
All was quiet for a moment except for the crackling of the fire as both men just sat staring at it in silence before Tobi spoke softly.
"You did a good job. You're not alone; remember that."
"Thank you," Amais said with a chuckle. "It's hard, though" he admit
Tobi nodded understandingly. "It always is."