With wide eyes, I looked down at the revolver. My attention turned inward, and I was forced to ask myself a single question. Were there any bullets loaded in that gun?
I couldn't just shoot Helen and Aiko. I wouldn't. It seemed impossible, but I was willing to undertake great risk to save them. If the revolver was truly loaded with live rounds, my only option was to use them to kill the four guards and then dispatch Gihren before he could run away. I would have to deal with the apocalyptic side-effects of that course of action later.
On the other hand, I had no confirmation that there were, in fact, bullets in the revolver. If I shot at the guards, and the revolver was loaded with blanks, then they would kill me without any difficulty. My Newtype abilities made it very clear to me that the four guards were ready to kill at any moment.
Gihren Zabi was still in the room, and that pointed me in the direction that the rounds in the revolver were blanks. No sane person would tell someone to kill people close to him, hand him a loaded revolver, and then stand in the same room. Unfortunately, this was Gihren, and it would be stretch of the imagination to call him sane. In the original timeline, his arrogance led to his death, and Kycilia shot him when his back was turned.
I wracked my mind thinking about what kind of person Gihren Zabi was. Certainly, he had only put me into this situation because he thought I might shoot him. Just as that thought entered my mind, I was also reminded of Gihren's strange rambling about me being "the perfect soldier" and "the next stage in human evolution." If he was really telling the truth, and this was just an opportunity for me to dispel any doubts surrounding my loyalty, then the revolver really could be loaded.
"Demons aren't supposed to hesitate, Captain Dogwood," Gihren said, his eyes lingering on my face. "If you don't pull the trigger within the next minute, I'm afraid we'll have to assume that you actually are disloyal."
Slowly, I reached down and picked up the revolver. Maybe I could glean something from the gun by just picking it up. I picked it up and tested the weight. It was impossible to determine whether the gun held live rounds or blanks based on its weight alone. The difference was a matter of about 40 grams in a gun that weighed more than a kilogram.
"One more thing," Gihren said. "There have been some slanderous claims that you're not willing to kill women, Captain Dogwood. This is your opportunity to dispel those claims. Shoot one of the women first."
My teeth clenched, and ragged breathing escaped from my mouth. I had absolutely no idea if the gun was loaded. I tried to focus on the gun and induce some kind of Newtype response in my mind, but nothing came. The sensation I felt when I knew that Kycilia's gun wasn't loaded was nowhere to be seen. Kycilia knew the gun wasn't loaded, and I was able to pick up on that. Without someone else holding the pistol, there was nothing to tell me whether or not the gun was loaded.
All I could do was focus even further inward and rely entirely on my instincts. I asked myself over and over again if the gun was loaded. The weight difference was too minor for me to sense consciously, but perhaps I could sense it subconsciously.
"You have ten seconds to act, Captain," Gihren said darkly.
Were there live rounds in the revolver!? I shouted at myself mentally and forcefully dragged a single word out of the darkness of my own mind.
No.
In a flash, the sights of my revolver lined up with my eye, and I put Aiko's head in my cross hairs. Completely unbidden by my conscious mind, I shouted two words at the top of my lungs, "God, please!"
There was a flash and a bang as I pulled the trigger. For a single, terrible moment, I sat in an eternal purgatory, waiting those few milliseconds to see if the recoil of a live round pressed against my hand.
There was no recoil. It was a blank.
The revolver fell from my limp hand, and I fell to my knees heavily. For a brief moment, the terror and relief flooding through my body overrode my conscious mind.
"I was right!" Gihren said with a victorious laugh. "You really are the perfect soldier! Men, take the prisoners away!"
I was the perfect soldier? Hearing Gihren say that made me want to vomit. The idea was so offensive to me because I honestly believed it. Ever since I had arrived in this universe, I had never disobeyed a direct order, and I pursued the objectives of my superiors with the aggression and efficiency of the Devil himself. I was the greatest tool of the most lethal regime in human history.
As the guards dragged the prisoners away, Gihren walked over to my kneeling form and said, "You work for me now, Captain Dogwood. Next time I feel for a moment that your loyalty to me is slipping, there won't be blanks in the gun."
"Yes, sir," I breathed out, terrified and unable to stand. "What do you need from me?"
"From this day forth, you will be my knight," Gihren said. I felt it as he pressed a hitherto unseen dagger against my shoulder. Just as I looked up, Gihren swiftly drew the dagger back, cutting into my cheek. Within seconds, blood began pouring down my face. "Congratulations, Captain. You are now a member of my royal guard."
As I rose to my feet, I pressed my hand against my bleeding cheek and recalled the scar on Manthfield's face. Gihren did this to all of his knights, and my face would forever carry the evidence of my treacherous alliance with the Supreme Commander of Zeon.