Zeke stood on the edge of Mount Singularity, wearing a cheap wig and a poncho made of emergency foil blankets. His eyes were wild. His hair—static-charged. His soul—done.
Zeke: "This is it. I go out in a blaze of fake glory, vanish into the stars, and finally—finally—get a nap."
Bitty: "Reminder: Your life insurance policy is worth more than some moons. If you vanish now, there will be… economic consequences."
Zeke: "Exactly. May chaos finally reign!"
Bitty: "You do realize your death will become a cultural event?"
Zeke: "That's the plan. Dramatic exit. Everyone mourns. Nobody follows me to Space-Tahiti."
Bitty: "You made up Space-Tahiti. It doesn't exist."
Zeke: "Then I'll build it out of regret and sun chairs."
...
Ten Minutes Later...
Zeke, riding a modified cleaning drone with sparklers taped to it, launched himself off Mount Singularity.
Zeke (yelling): "I REGRET NOTHING—except pineapple pizza!!"
The sky exploded in LED firework emojis. The words "Zeke Ascends" trended instantly on every neural net.
...
Meanwhile, in the Imperial Capital
Alien citizens dropped to their knees, sobbing, holding dumplings to the sky.
High Priest of the First Interstellar Snack Temple: "He has left us… but he will return. In our time of greatest hunger."
Bitty (disguised as a toaster): "Oh no. Oh no no no."
...
Two Days Later – Outer Rim, Abandoned Space Diner
Zeke sat at the cracked counter of Galaxie Grease™, sipping cold soup and wearing fake antennae.
Zeke: "Finally. No followers. No worship. Just... broth."
TV above him: "BREAKING: Emperor Zeke's final scream interpreted as divine prophecy. The Church of the Eternal Cringe now has 4 billion members."
Zeke (chokes): "What?!"
Bitty: "Your final act was seen as metaphorical. 'Pineapple pizza' represents unwanted destiny. You are now a messianic figure known as the 'Chosen Rejector.'"
Zeke: "I'm gonna scream."
TV: "Also, miracle reported—one woman claimed her noodles started boiling without heat after chanting your name."
...
Later, Zeke Tries to Correct the Record
Zeke (into camera): "Hi. I'm not dead. I'm not divine. I'm just some guy who hacked a vending machine wrong and never recovered."
Galactic Public: "Truly… even in humility, he teaches us."
Zeke: "STOP WORSHIPPING ME."
Bitty: "They're quoting that as scripture."
...
Closing Scene
Zeke sat in a hidden moon bunker, surrounded by candles, holographic memes, and plushies shaped like his face.
Zeke: "I tried to start a war and brought peace. I tried to die and became a god. At this point, if I sneeze, I might invent immortality."
Bitty: "We have three popes now. One of them is a fish."
Zeke: "Chapter 60 better be the end of this nightmare."
Bitty: "You said that 30 chapters ago."