One Day Earlier…
I sat in the guild, staring at the quest board with an expression comparable to stale bread.
First quest:
"Slay 12 knife-tailed snakes in the Poison Swamp."
…Sounds like ninja training content. Pass.
Second quest:
"Escort a noble's daughter on a picnic. Bring 3 guards. Must be able to play the harp."
…I can't even play a recorder.
Third quest:
"Excavate ancient ruins filled with traps and cursed spirits."
Ah yes, why not just toss me in a blender?
I looked at Valmor, who was calmly eating potatoes.
"You know, I just want light work. Lifting rocks. Watering plants. Helping goats give birth…"
Valmor didn't stop chewing.
"You know light jobs went extinct ever since the 'medieval job market' got monopolized by mages and warriors? Unless you wanna be a god's sandal, pick something with at least a bit of blood."
I closed my eyes. Took a deep breath.
"Being a god's sandal… might be more honorable than dying to blender-tailed snakes."
And right then, just as I was about to walk out of the guild with a head full of regret for being alive, an old man approached.
Long beard, tattered clothes, and the scent of lizard incense.
He held a small board that read:
"VOLUNTEER DIVER WANTED
– SACRED WELL
– QUICK PAY
– RISK: ONLY A LITTLE CURSING
– DEATH RATE : ???"
I blinked.
He smiled.
"You look like a girl who needs money."
Valmor looked up.
"She looks like a girl who needs permanent leave, but go on."
The old man enthusiastically shook my hand.
"My name is Village Chief Uru-Uru. In our village, the Wind God is… a little upset. We need someone to dive into the sacred well and clean the offering coins."
I frowned.
"Clean the coins?"
"Yes. Someone threw fake coins in. And… chewing gum. Lots. Very disrespectful to the god."
I paused.
Looked at Valmor.
Looked at the blender-snake quest.
Looked at my wallet—now just a single bay leaf.
Then I said…
"You Want Me to Dive Into Where?"
"So… I just have to dive into this old well and grab some coins?"
"Correct," the Chief said seriously. "The Wind God is angry.
Someone threw chewing gum into the offering well. Since then, the wind has smelled like strawberries and fried chicken keeps disappearing."
I blinked."
…You sure this isn't a hygiene issue?"
"The well is sacred," he said dramatically.
"But it's full of coins. The god doesn't like fakes. Take them all, throw away the counterfeits."
"And the real ones?"
"You may keep them."
I reflexively turned to Valmor, who stood there casually sipping tea (don't ask where he got the cup).
"Thoughts?"
Valmor raised a horsey eyebrow.
"If you die, I'll inherit your stuff and distribute it into my saddle pouches. But hey, you've been in a pig pen before. A well is nothing."
…I need new friends.
Five Minutes Later
I stood at the edge of an old well. The wood was rotting, and it smelled like a damp towel post-war.
Around me, the villagers were praying while scattering flower petals and…
old discount coupons?
"This is the offering?" I whispered.
"Sacred," one villager replied.
"The god likes discounts."
Okay.
Fine.
I won't ask again.
I lowered myself into the well, feet first.
The rope creaked as I went down. It got darker, damper, and colder the deeper I went.
Water up to my waist.
I sniffed.
"…Did someone pee in here?"
At the Bottom of the Well
Light from my head lantern shimmered across the water.
Coins lay scattered at the bottom—gold, copper, even an arcade token that read
"YOU WIN!"
I started collecting them, one by one.
Until—
Plunk.
Next to me…
something surfaced.
A pale hand.
Soft.
Twitching.
I slowly turned.
A corpse.
Sitting upright.
Still wearing a priest's robe.
The smile on his face had dried up long ago, but somehow still… friendly.
I took a deep breath.
Then said:
"Bro. If these coins are yours, raise your hand. If not, I'm takin' them, okay?"
The corpse didn't move.
I continued gathering coins.
And the corpse…
started helping.
He tossed me coins like a teammate.
Above
Valmor paced restlessly.
"It's been twenty minutes! If she dies, I'll lose the only human who buys me fries!"
Suddenly, I emerged from the well, sack full of coins—and a corpse calmly seated on my shoulder.
Valmor jumped.
"AAAAAAAA—IS THAT—IS THAT A CORPSE—ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH A UNDE—"
"His name's Arsen. He helped."
"WHY IS HE ON YOUR SHOULDER?!"
I carefully lowered Arsen to the ground.
"He just wanted to get out for a bit. Said it's been a hundred years. Not fresh, but friendly."
Valmor backed away.
"I… I no longer understand this world."
I sat down.
Counted coins.
"You think I understand? I'm just an office lady. Now I'm a divine well diver. Chatting with a corpse. While a talking horse yells at me."
Plop.
A coin fell from the bag.
Arsen, the mummy-smiling corpse, bent down and picked it up.
Then offered it to me with that eternal, dehydrated grin.
I took it.
"…Thanks, bro."