Baotian, for all his flaws, was someone with great awareness. He understood perfectly that, while Hanliang was sincere, it was only out of 'interest', not genuine friendship. It was a man whom he met three days ago, who simply saw in him the proof that his ideology was valid, and therefore decided to comfort him rather than another person with an interesting story he read through his talent. He knew that, in hindsight, he would simply be opening up to a lunatic he had no real tie with.
"I am terrified" Baotian said. "Each and every second of my life… I spend it in terror"
Even then, there was only so many decades of pain a human heart could take without snapping.
"I am terrified of death, I am terrified of my soul returning to nothingness, and my body slowly being decomposed by the passage of time, until there is nothing left of me, neither mind nor body. That's why I went to the demonic path in the first place. For a long time, this fear has been the only thing pushing me forward.
But after a few years spent in the demonic path, even though fear was still close to being the only thing giving me the will to advance, I realized that it wasn't merely the fear of death anymore. Sometimes, when I am about to sleep, I try to imagine what trace my life would leave on the world if I was to be struck by lightning during the night.
When I do that, I realize: it is not that there would be no trace left, rather that it would be pitiful. An insignificant memory in a corner of geniuses' minds, maybe one or two connections from the demonic path that will remember me before failing and perishing too, and the families of those I killed, assuming they would even hear about an insignificant event like my death.
I… I crave love, I really do. Not just being the tenth or second most loved one of someone, no, but the person they love the most in the entire world. And not just because I am the only close one they still have, I want to be loved the most by someone who has many people in their heart, but still choose me to be in its center. I know it's selfish but I just want to feel like, to someone, I am their absolute priority!
In my life… no, in both lives, the only ones who ever saw me this way are Liu Zhenyun and Liu Jianhong, my junior brother and my master, and now the first wants to obstruct my path, while the second loses his mind at my sight. When I saw master in the state, I felt terrible. But you know what made me feel even worse?
It was seeing Zhenyun thriving, as happy and successful as he would have been with me by his side, as if my existence wasn't of any importance to him. At the lowest points, I… I wanted him to feel miserable. I wanted him to be left with no one, and abandoned by his talent. To be put in a situation just as bad as mine when I left the clan, even worse. To be shoved in a despair so deep that he'd come to me!
I… I'm scared of even getting close to people because I know eventually, they will find someone they love more than me. I want those around me to feel miserable, so I become their beacon of hope, and I can feel good knowing they won't leave me, because they have no one to leave me for!
I… I hate myself for thinking that. I, I, I, from the moment I started talking, how many times have I said this word, 'I'? I'm pathetic, and selfish. And even then, in addition to all of these filthy thoughts, there's a part of my mind that cannot stop from thinking that I'd be more happy if everyone else becomes miserable.
After all, if everyone is more miserable than you, then you can only be the happiest one, right? I'm ashamed but more than this, I'm terrified by this! If I begin to fully think like this, if I begin to take comfort in the sight of others suffering more than me, then eventually, I will end up as another one of these demonic cultivators who get pleasure purely from hurting people!
It's… it's not me… but it's there, I can feel it in my soul. I'm so, so scared. Of death, of oblivion, of losing myself and becoming this purely evil version of me. It's just… among all these dark endings, it's hard to see the light. Sometimes, back in my previous life, I often imagined myself as a main character of a story, both as a hero and a villain, depending on the moment. I always had more fun imagining myself as the villain.
But now, it's reality, it became my reality, and it is terrible. But that is my life now, and I hate it. I hate Zhang Baotian"
Hanliang listened to everything without saying a word, and Baotian simply closed his eyes, losing himself in this rare moment of complete peace, as his heart felt lighter than it had been in a long time.
Soon, he would have to get back on track, and resume his journey. He had many things to do: take care of the elder of the Divine Storm Sect, Na Fengxia, who had tried to cause his death while acting as the referee, retrieve Xiao Hanchen and sacrifice him to increase his talent, finding a good moment to use the reward he had gotten from the contest, reuniting with Zi Moyan, finding clues as to how he could keep cultivating after reaching the Void Ascension realm, which marked the end of the Crazed Demonic Blood Burial Mantra…
There were many things to think about, to care about, many things to do. Many unpleasant ones among them, too.
But for now, Baotian simply stood there, crying silently as someone who he could not even call a friend hugged him, merely appreciating this moment of peace.
Meanwhile, in the throne room of the Yaoling kingdom, sat on a throne, was the king of all Spirit Beasts in their realm, Yaoling Huang. Towering at over two meters in his human form, his facial traits were hard, reminding more of a hardened, merciless general than a sovereign. His eyes, sharp, were looking at the two cultivators in front of him, full of contempt:
"So, what you're telling is that Lingshe of the Cobra tribe, one of the two geniuses of our lands, defected to the demonic path, and that the two of you were unable to stop her? Is that correct?"
The two cultivators in front of him were respectively the patriarch of the Viper tribe, at the early stage of Nascent Soul, and the sixth elder of the Cobra tribe, at the mid stage of Golden Core. The former had been absent during the events, occupied with an urgent matter related to his tribe, and the latter had failed to stop Lingshe, who was at the early stage of Golden Core but possessed strength at the peak of the late stage, on his own.
"..."
The patriarch of the Viper tribe kept looking down, nodding ever so slightly, silently offering his confirmation. However, conscious of his more precarious situation, the elder of the Cobra tribe tried to justify himself:
"O great king, I had eyes but failed to see the dark heart hidden beneath the surface! I beg you to please let me make up for my mistakes, and let me take her back, even at the cost of my life! I conjure you-"
"Seven times"
These two simple words, coldly escaping the king's mouth, froze the elder on the spot:
"S-seven times what?" the elder blurted.
The king, looking at him, only had one emotion in his eyes:
"'I', 'I', 'me', 'my', 'me', my', 'I'" he said. "In less than three sentences, where you were supposed to report 'me' about 'Lingshe's' defection to the 'demonic path', you talked seven times about 'you' instead. What do you think it means?"
The elder started shaking, but the king's expression didn't change:
"Answer."
"I-" the elder started.
"Silence"
As he cut his explanations short, the king stood up from his throne, his massive build towering above them:
"I will say it for you" he said. "You talked about yourself because the only thing you care about right now is to save your life, because you believe I will not let you live after your mistake" he said, his deep, hoarse voice echoing in the throne room
The king smiled broadly, exposing his irregular, but white teeth:
"And you are perfectly right"
With a mere movement of his arm, the elder exploded. A splatter of blood arrived on the king's face, who wiped it with his finger, before getting his finger to his mouth for a second, and smiling as he took it off:
"No matter how many millennials pass, the taste of blood is still the same"
He then turned to the patriarch of the Viper tribe, whose bladder was getting near its limit, his mere pressure causing the entire royal palace to tremble slightly:
"Well, are you not going already, putting your life in the balance to bring back the genius of our lands as the other one just said? Truly a shame, passive youngsters like you, I should've made an example out of you instead. Now go before I changed my mind"
Hearing this, the Nascent Soul viper did not wait a single second to take its human form and fly as fast as possible. On its pants, if one looked attentively, a darker spot could be seen. Laughing, the king sat back down and looked up, pensive:
"This kid, Liu Zhenyun, he will definitely reach Nascent Soul before his hundredth birthday, even if he doesn't try" he thought out loud. "At the rate it's going… maybe five hundred years at most before he becomes a worthy opponent?"
At this thought, he couldn't help but laugh loudly again, making the entire royal palace shake violently.
Meanwhile, somewhere between the north, east and center of the Xuanhe Kingdom, a cultivator with a slender figure, long white hair and a golden mask was peacefully seating on a rock, swinging their legs. In front of them, a woman at the Core Formation stage, her gaze alternatively looking back and forth between the masked cultivator, who exuded an aura at the Nascent Soul realm, and a female corpse hung beside her by countless thin strings, who still had residual energy around it, indicating her recent death.
It was grand elder Na Longtiao of the Divine Storm Sect, a Nascent Soul cultivator!
"Y-you, why did you do such a vile thing?" she asked, panicked.
The figure stopped swinging their legs and got off the rock, causing the woman to take a step back.
"Oh, please do not blame me, elder Xiao, I didn't have much choice in the matter" they said. "The respectable grand elder, unfortunately, had her eyes set on destroying something that I couldn't allow her to break. I ensure you that I would never do such a thing for no reason"
They stretched for a bit:
"Now, let us go back to our deal: in exchange for killing 'this person', I shall give you the current location of Xiao Hanchen" they said. "As I trust you, I will not ask you to sign a spirit contract, but merely to swear on your clan's name to do your utmost to accomplish your part of the deal. Is it acceptable to you?"
Hearing the soft, sugary, comforting voice, the woman seemed to regret her choices. But eventually, steeling her resolve, she nodded:
"I, elder Xiao Chen, swear in the name of my Xiao clan that, after obtaining the location of my former disciple, I will do my utmost to fulfill my promise and kill Liu Jianhong"
She was none other than elder Xiao Chen, the former master of Baotian's fake disciple, Xiao Hanchen!
Seeing her swear on the name of her clan, the masked person couldn't help but laugh in their heart, as they told her the young Earthly Talent's location. Undoubtedly, no matter the result of her attempts, there would be losses in the end.
"Very well, I believe we can now go back to our own paths, lady Xiao"
Even then, knowing that every other person implicated would likely be miserable by the end of it, they felt not the slightest guilt.
"Before we separate, may I at least know your name"
After all, whether it was a dozen, a hundred individuals, or even the entire realm…
"My name?" the person repeated, smiling behind their mask. "Hmm, I never truly thought about it. But I can think of one that sounds pleasant to my ears, right now"
If their actions caused everyone else in the world to be miserable…
"Shen Hui"
Wouldn't that mean that they were the happiest person in the world?
"I decided that my name would be Shen Hui"