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Chapter 63 - When Gold Stops Shining, Final Part

Baotian, sitting cross-legged in his cave, smiled as he looked up in front of him:

"Thanks heaven, I really thought that…" he said, his voice giving up for an instant before recovering it: "I thought that I might never see you again"

Zi Moyan, in front of him, smiled gently, not replying. Instead, she asked him a question of her own:

"So tell me, junior brother, are you happy?"

Baotian let out a laugh:

"Haha, yes senior sister, I'm really happy that we both came out of it alive! When I saw your fractured cranium, your brain exposed, and partially frozen, I really thought I lost you, that we would both die. So of course, I'm happy beyond words that we're still here to talk about it!"

Zi Moyan shook her head:

"That wasn't what I was talking about"

Baotian raised an eyebrow:

"Then what is your question? I don't understand"

"Ah? It's not so complicated, though. I am asking if you're happy with what you accomplished"

This time, instead of raising, the man's brows furrowed instead as he frowned:

"Is this a joke, senior sister? If it is, it's not funny"

"A joke? Ahh… junior brother, you still don't realize it?"

"Realizing what, exactly?"

"That you have won, of course!"

"Does it look like I won? I'm stuck in this stupid cave for the next centuries and, if you didn't join me, I would be all alone at this very moment! Even then, the two of us will be stuck in there for longer than we have lived outside! Does it sound like victory to you!?"

"Junior brother, just like you always do, you only focus on your misery, and forget all the positive sides of the situation. Stop looking at the space around you, but look at the circumstances themselves!"

"The… circumstances?"

"Yes, the circumstances. Think about it: you managed to reach the Core Formation stage at least thirty years earlier than you should have! Not only that, but you also reached Golden Core, as well, isn't this great?"

"But I'm only Golden Core in name… Until I go through the Body Tempering and Foundation Establishment realms too, I only have the corresponding increase in spiritual energy…"

"And so what? You are already a Golden Core after all, and already went through the human version of these realms. If you just reverse engineer your current realm, you will most definitely achieve it in fifty or sixty years only. Moreover, it's not as if reaching the Golden Core realm didn't give you any more lifespan, is it?"

"I gained five hundred years of lifespan with the Core Formation advancement, but only two hundred-and-fifty years with the Golden Core advancement…"

"And so what? Two hundred-and-fifty years is already nearly twice the time we lived! If we exclude the Purple Sky Village, then it's over twice what you already lived! Your remaining lifespan from just the Qi Building stage is longer than sixty years, by the time you complete the formulas for Body Tempering and Foundation Establishment, you will still have more than seven and a half centuries left to live!"

"But I couldn't completely assimilate Hanchen's talent, only his Earth talent, I got less than half the talent I could have originally gained and now I'm stuck here, so I have no way to-"

"No way to find resources? But you don't need it, junior brother. You have Xiao Chen's storage bag, filled with the major part of a Grand clan's second-in-command's lifelong accumulation! You have all the resources needed to reach the Nascent Soul realm, and all the time needed as well. Or maybe it's a problem with the fact you became a dual path cultivator? Tell me, are you now required to cultivate both paths at the same time to advance?"

"No, I don't think so… In the original scripture, two cores, a Golden and a Spirit one, were originally supposed to coexist in my dantian but from what I can feel, what's currently acting as my heart is not quite either of these, and there is only one. I think that, as a result of the difficulty of going through with the man-made tribulation, heaven allowed me to fully merge the two paths into one. It's only a supposition, but once my Spirit Beast cultivation catches up to my human cultivation, I will be able to switch between methods to advance both paths at once…"

"Then it's even better, great beyond belief! Baotian, do you not realize? You have extravagant resources, much more lifespan than cultivators of the same realm, you gained enough talent to avoid being blocked before you can advance to the Nascent Soul realm, you can cultivate any of the two formulas so that, if you go through a bottleneck in one, you can force through it with the other and while having the same cultivation speed as anyone else, you will have many folds the power!"

"But even with more time and methods, my talent won't allow me to reach more than the Nascent Soul realm. The talent I can gain from the Blood Burial Mantra is limited…"

"And so what? As a dual path cultivator, the moment you reach Nascent Soul, your power will automatically surge to that of a late or grand perfection stage cultivator! By then, it won't be unthinkable for you to simply kidnap some renewed Earthly Talent, and assimilate their talents for yourself"

"But I just told you, the method will eventually become usele-"

"Even if the method ends up becoming inefficient, then so what? From the Nascent Soul stage on, one is able to create their own scripture and evolve existing ones. You may not be a genius, junior brother, but you are undoubtedly a prodigy, it's almost certain you will be able to use the properties of your new path to solve the decreasing absorption rate in a way or another. You performed similarly impressive accomplishments before and you will surely do so again"

"B-but…"

"Junior brother, not only is your Nascent Soul advancement nearly guaranteed, but beside Heavenly and Earthly Talents, there is hardly anyone with better chances to one day reach Void Ascension in the entire realm, Xuanhe, Yaoling and Zhaoqing alike. So tell me, why are you not happy about it?"

Baotian, curling into a ball, looked at the ground for a moment, not saying anything as Zi Moyan waited for him to speak.

"I don't know" he finally said. "I guess I simply cannot feel happy, no matter what"

He laughed bitterly:

"Even back in my first life, it was the same. My parents were kind, yet I couldn't feel satisfied with their love because I felt that our shared blood was the only reason why they loved me in the first place. I went to a modest university, worked as a government employee for a while before quitting and settling as a baker, making some friends in town too. I… I never really felt close to them either, I was always more like the third wheel of the group, haha. The one no one would miss too much if he left town…

Ah, by the way, 'baker', that's the word we used in my original world's language for my job. Baker, Ba Ke, do you get it? We also had these things to replace the carriages mortals use, that worked without horses and without spiritual energy either… cars, yes, cars. One day, when I was walking back home after work, I was hit by one of these cars and soon after that, my first life ended. 

But when I was losing blood, feeling my consciousness dissipate, I didn't think of my parents, my friends, my job, no, I just thought about myself, and how sad it was that I couldn't live longer. And who knows, maybe the me from back there really did die? 

These days, I can't even remember my name from back then, let alone the faces of the people I knew, or the interior of my bakery, but it wasn't always like this. After being reborn in this world, I often wondered if my original life could have possibly been better, had I not been hit by a car. Better job, better friends, a more sane relationship with my parents…

But really? There was no problem with them. The problem was me. It was always me, and it will always be me. Back in the Liu clan, I deluded myself into thinking that I was truly happy but now, I'm realizing it was nothing more than that, delusions. I'm an empty shell, senior sister. No matter how good my situation is, I can never truly be satisfied"

Zi Moyan walked behind him, hugging his neck, resting her head on his shoulder:

"Is this truly the reason? Or is the true reason for this pain that plagues your mind that, in truth, you simply dreamed to be more than that? More than a baker with a decent life, more than a decent cultivator from a good clan? You said it yourself when you were confessing to Hanliang, junior brother, what you truly wish is to be a white knight, someone who others will have to depend on. And more than this, someone who would love you the most despite every other possibility.

Well, you did it, Baotian. You saved everyone, became not only the person they depended on, but also their friend for a while. And even now… you still have someone that chose you over her own life, her own value, don't you?

You did it, Baotian, you reached all your goals. You went against the fate heaven gave you, the fate of living a miserable life without ever being able to soar. You became renowned in the entire world as a fierce demon, and yet still inspired many, remaining in memories, even becoming the center of a person's world.

You forged your own glorious path, too, piecing up a path that gives you hope to one day reach the Vortex Walker realm and ascend above this realm. In the worst case, even if you fail, you can still go to the Purple Sky Village, living the rest of your life happily as a mortal, and having your existence engraved in it when you die, so that Zhang Baotian will never ever return to nothingness.

So what if you will have to endure a few centuries of loneliness among the thousands of years you're nearly ensured to live? So what if you can't remember a name and a few faces from a life that is already gone? So what if some fools that cannot understand you hate you for your actions? So what if you, yourself, feel remorse at some point?

In the end, it doesn't change anything. You defeated every obstacle on your way, including heavens themselves, and obtained everything you ever wanted. 

This is your victory, junior brother. You won."

Baotian, hearing her comforting words, smiled slightly and finally allowed some of the shadows in his heart to disperse. Finally, he could feel a bit better… somehow… good, even. 

"Yes, you're right, senior sister. I won. I… definitely won"

However, his smile quickly faltered as he realized something:

"Senior sister, you were unconscious when Xue Lan made this promise to me" he said. "How… how can you know this"

Zi Moyan simply smiled. Baotian paled:

"No, it's not just that… Among all the things you said, there are some that I only ever spoke about with the genius of the Griffin tribe… some too that I never mentioned to anyone else, too"

He pushed her away from him, and hastily stood up:

"Who are you? How do you know so many things about me? What method did you use to come in here? Wh-"

"You already know it, junior brother, don't you?"

Baotian paled even more:

"Wh-what do you mean? I… I don't… understand…"

"Junior brother, there can only be one living person per cave in the Martial Devouring Mountain, you know it"

"Wh-what? B-but, you're here… right in front of me"

Zi Moyan smiled and shook her head:

"But I am not real, junior brother. There is no one in front of you, no one in this cave either. From the moment you entered, you were alone and remained alone. You only see me in front of you right now because there is one last part of you that denies the reality of this loneliness. But Baotian…"

She hugged him, looking him right in the eyes with a warm smile:

"No matter what you think of yourself, you are strong. It's because you are so strong, with the willpower to struggle for your life despite everything, that you achieved victory. And because of that, you don't have the weakness necessary to keep the lie of Zi Moyan's presence alive.

I'm sorry, junior brother. You are alone"

And indeed, the next instant, Baotian was left alone.

No, it was more correct to say that he had been alone for a long time already.

At first, he scratched against the walls, trying to find an exit. Then he screamed and begged. After that, he tried to destroy the cave. When everything else failed, he simply cried, until his body didn't have any tears left to shed.

Finally, he got up, took a deep breath, and smiled:

"Yes, you're right, senior sister. I won"

He turned his head toward the ceiling, imagining the sky through it:

"Do you hear me, heaven? You tried to obstruct my path and failed! I won! Do you understand? This is my victory!"

He clenched his teeth:

"I WON, I WON, I WON, I WON! I FUCKING WON! THIS, THIS, THIS, THIS IS MY VICTORY! MINE AND ONLY MINE! MINE, MINE, MINE! MY! MY VICTORY! AND I DESERVE IT! I DESERVE THIS VICTORY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD, DO YOU HEAR ME!?

I WON!"

He trembled for several minutes, his shouts echoing in the cave before dying down. When his body finally stopped to shake, Baotian remained immobile for a moment before taking out some blood essence from the last few dozen liters he still had in his storage bag. He shaped it into a sword, took it in his hand, and brought the blade next to his neck.

"What is the purpose of life?"

No one replied. Yet, Baotian's face lightened up, as if he had just been touched by the greatest of all wisdoms.

"Right. How could I forget. The purpose of life…"

He threw his blade to the ground, crushing the blade into splinters with his foot, watching it disintegrate back into blood essence.

"... is to exist. Because once your life is over, no matter the feats you accomplished, the people who loved you, and the mark you left on the world, everything goes black for you"

Baotian sat back down, cross-legged, and regulated his breathing. He began to do the same thing he had done hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of times before.

"What a great day it is. Not only was I reminded of the reason why I joined the demonic path in the first place but, thanks to senior sister's words, I can finally see it. All these efforts, all these sacrifices, all this suffering I inflicted to others and to myself, they were not pointless. After all this, I finally have a future, a hope to one day reach immortality. Yes, I did it, senior sister"

Baotian's lips curved upward one last time before he immersed himself back into his cultivation.

For the one who was never truly able to feel happiness, and yet refused to give up on his life, the only thing left was this one act that would allow him to see the sun rise again.

And so, Baotian resumed his cultivation.

"I won."

Golden Iron, Golden Core - The End

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