Kimberly sat in her apartment, trying to unwind after another long workday. She had been trying to focus on her personal life—on her friendships, on the small joys that came with the weekend. But the one thing she couldn't shake was the growing connection she had with Ryan.
Since their last lunch date, she had been torn between wanting to let him in and being terrified of what it meant to do so. She kept telling herself that it was just a temporary infatuation—something that would fade with time. After all, this wasn't the first time she had convinced herself she could let someone in only to retreat once the intimacy started to grow.
That evening, her phone buzzed. Ryan had texted her again.
Ryan:"Hey, how's your evening going? Would love to catch up sometime soon, maybe grab a coffee or lunch?"
She read the message, her stomach doing a slight flip. Kim smiled at the thought of him—his laid-back charm, the way he always seemed to put her at ease when she was with him. But then, as if on cue, the familiar walls started to rise up around her heart.
She typed out a quick response.
Kim:"Hey! Evening's good, just wrapping up some work. But lunch sounds great, I'll let you know."
She hit send and leaned back, staring at the message thread. The distance felt necessary. She couldn't let herself fall into something she wasn't ready for. As much as she liked the idea of him, there was something about that feeling—the rush of being noticed, wanted—that made her want to pull away. It was too much, too fast.
The next day at work, she found herself distracted. Every time her phone buzzed with a message or call, she hoped it was from Ryan, but when it was, she'd quickly convince herself to keep the conversation short. She wasn't interested in getting too deep, too fast. And yet, she found herself returning his messages almost immediately, enjoying their exchanges more than she cared to admit.
Kimberly closed her eyes for a moment, exhaling deeply. She was being ridiculous, wasn't she? Ryan had been nothing but kind to her. He hadn't pushed her. He'd been patient. So why did every part of her instinctively pull away when things started to feel real?
She walked back to her desk, shaking off the discomfort. She had to stop thinking like this. She needed to focus on work, on keeping things at a distance. She couldn't let herself get too caught up in something she wasn't ready for.
Later that evening, Ryan texted her again.
Ryan:"What do you think? Coffee tomorrow? I promise I won't keep you too long."
Kim stared at the message for a long moment. She had a choice. She could keep pushing him away, keep pretending that there was no real connection, or she could take a chance and let herself explore this further. But with that choice came a deeper fear—the fear of feeling exposed. Vulnerable.
She hesitated.
Kim:"I don't know if tomorrow works, but maybe next week? Let's talk then."
She hit send before she could second-guess herself. It was enough for now. She'd keep things light. Keep things easy.
The following day, Kimberly was walking through the office, absorbed in her thoughts, when she accidentally bumped into a colleague at the copy machine. She stumbled slightly, and the man steadied her with a hand on her arm—one of those casual, harmless touches. But the moment his hand made contact, Kimberly's breath hitched, and she quickly pulled away, unnerved.
Her colleague didn't notice. He smiled and apologized, offering a quick "no problem" before he moved on. But Kimberly stood frozen for a moment, her pulse racing. She hadn't been expecting the physical closeness, the slight pressure of a hand on her skin. It triggered something in her that she couldn't explain.
Later that night, alone in her apartment, Kimberly replayed the incident in her mind. Why had that touch unsettled her so much? It wasn't like it was a big deal. She had to be more careful with herself. If she wasn't careful, she might fall into old patterns—the patterns of trusting too easily, of hoping too much.
Her phone buzzed. It was Ryan.
Ryan:"Hey, just checking in. Let me know when you want to grab that coffee. No rush, I promise."
Kim read the message, and for a moment, she felt a small pang of something—a brief flicker of longing. But she quickly tamped it down, burying the feeling. She had to keep her distance. She had to keep her guard up.
She typed a quick reply.
Kim:"Let's talk soon. I'm just really busy right now. Hope you're doing well." She pressed send, not knowing why she felt so conflicted. The walls were back up, and she wasn't ready to take them down just yet.