VANESSA BELMONT
Whoa. Wait. No, no, no.
This was bad.
Other than perfunctory kisses on the cheek in public settings, Nate didn't touch me. Previous Me tried to be affectionate, but he rarely allowed it. Now, on the first night of my second-chance life he was making me want things I knew I couldn't have.
"Wouldn't you prefer Fiona?"
"I'm not marrying her."
"You would if she had power and money to contribute to the Jangs." My heart ached. "You don't love me. You won't even save me first."
"What does that mean?" He pulled back just enough to stare into my eyes. "Save you from what?"
"Never mind." It'll be different this time. I won't make the same choices or go down the same paths. I inhaled a steadying breath. "Nathan, do me a favor."
"What do I get in return?"
Forever the businessman. No wonder my parents picked him. "You get freedom."
"What's the favor?"
"Break up with me."
Nathan was so shocked, he let me go and stepped back. "What?"
"My parents were a firm no when I suggested it," I said. "So it's up to you. End the engagement."
"If we back out of the marriage, it will affect the business dealings between the Jang and Belmont Groups. Our parents won't just be pissed, they'll be penalized for breach of contract. Besides, when we announced our engagement, the stock prices of both our family's businesses went up. Why would we jeopardize our gains?"
Because six months from now, you're going to let me die. You're going to choose Fiona over me. I will be scared and alone before I breathe my last, you bastard.
"My heart is worth more than money."
"Vanessa…"
My father was right. Nate would never negate our marital contract. I had to find another way to escape.
"Forget it." I smoothed down my dress and fluffed my hair. I lifted my chin. "How's my lipstick?"
"Very red. Your mouth looks—" He stopped. His gaze lingered on my lips, and then he cleared his throat. "You've been planning the wedding since we agreed to terms. You've always liked me, Vanessa. I thought that might make things easier between us."
"It doesn't. Trust me."
In my previous life, my insecurity and desperation turned me into a nagging, whining, neurotic mess. I couldn't think about anything other than Fiona and Nate's relationship, and how I could compete for my own husband's heart. My obsession with him became my life, and he couldn't stand it. Worse, every dirty trick Fiona pulled made me look like the villain and her the bullied heroine of her own fairy tale. All my attempts to be cherished were for naught. Honestly? Only one living creature on this planet truly loved me. My cat.
"By the way, no matter what happens, I am not giving up Henry."
"Who the hell is Henry?"
"My cat."
Nathan frowned. "Why would you give up your cat?"
"You … you don't like them."
"My feelings about cats have nothing to do with whether or not my wife can have one. If you want a cat—if you want ten cats—that's a decision for you to make."
Then why had I given up Henry? I thought Nathan made me, but if I looked back on my decision, I saw a truth I didn't like. I never discussed my cat with Nathan. I assumed that since he didn't have pets that he didn't like them. I wanted to please him, so I re-homed Henry.
"I'm the worst," I muttered. "Poor Henry."
"You can bring whatever you want into our home, Vanessa. It will be your house, too."
That was true. Joint ownership of the mansion was part of our negotiated marital contract. Argh! If I couldn't get out of this marriage, then I needed a Plan B. And Plan C. And probably a Plan D.
"I think your time is almost up." I took his wrist and looked at his watch. "Yep. It's been about ten minutes. Fiona will arrive soon."
I saw his confused his expression, and decided to clarify. "Your childhood sweetheart won't like the idea that you're alone with me, so she'll seek you out."
"Vanessa." He sighed, and his reaction reminded me of all the arguments we had about his white moonlight. "Fiona and I aren't lovers. You have to stop worrying about this, okay? Your jealousy makes Fiona uncomfortable."
I put my hand against my chest and gasped. "Oh, no. Fiona's uncomfortable. Whatever shall I do?"
"There's no reason for you to be paranoid."
"Don't you know how women work? Every time you let her grab your arm or take your hand and call you 'brother' is permission. You never create boundaries, so you've given her tacit permission to touch more of you, whenever she wants."
Nathan frowned. "We've been friends our whole lives."
"Well, then it's okay for her to paw you when you're engaged to me." I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. We're just a contract marriage. Business only, right? You made that super clear. So, you play with Fiona all you want. And if I want to take a lover, I will."
He grabbed my chin and leaned down. "The hell you will."
"Jealous?" I laughed. "You made it clear that you didn't want to love me, but I'm stupid. I thought I could convince you that we'd be good together." I batted his hand away. "I'm tired, Nathan. I don't want to fight for your heart any more. If we end up getting married, I'll fulfill my duties as your wife. But I won't love you."
"I would never cheat on you."
"You already are. Don't you know what an emotional affair is?"
"I don't have romantic feelings for Fiona."
"I don't believe you. Hey, I wonder which excuse Fiona will use." I held up one finger. "Stomachache?" Two fingers. "Migraine?" Three fingers. "No appetite and feeling faint? You'll have to escort her home, of course. And stay with her until she feels better."
"Fiona has autoimmune issues."
"Poor Fiona," I said drolly. "Well, you have fun with that. I'm going to drink wine and eat tiny quiches." I turned to go, but Nathan yank me back into his arms. He put his thumb on the center of my bottom lip. "I remembered that I like cherries." He lightly smeared my lip and then tasted his thumb. My heart started pounding. He leaned toward me, intent glittering in his dark gaze. "I've never kissed you properly."