"Pearl," The voice echoes. Its hand reaches out once more to me in a dark corner. I was hopeless and helpless.
"NO...! Huh?" I yelled. In the blink of an eye, the shadow disappears in the morning light.
That voice knows no bounds when it came to haunt me, but I am certain it wasn't Mr Sebastian who was shrouded in it. The shadow acts in its way, trying to reach for me in the word of other than a plea. What was that? I couldn't tell because I was just waking up in this bed.
"Oh...bad dream...in my bed..."
The human said this is where I should sleep, but there's no bed here for me to sleep. I had to sleep on the floor using only a thin mattress and one wrinkled pillow. It was cold last night, and my blanket was not thick enough. Last night was not a good sleep, nor was today a good wake.
"Hurt...it hurts everywhere...my back hurts..."
"Cold..." I shivered. My skin may be glossy and solid like marble, but the cold stings like a needle. I feel like a snowman in my own bed, carrying snow in my touch. Moving out a muscle in this marble-ish skin felt stiffer than ever.
"Sick...I feel sick..." I was disgusted and glanced with contempt. Waking up in this kind of bed is more insulting. Not only do the humans have less decency than me, but what they made as an 'attire' lacks everything a beauty can make. Who could've worn such humiliation every day? Of scratches and tatters.
"Change..." I reached for my wardrobe.
"Nothing. Nothing good...keep blue dress, then..." My voice was weakened by the bad morning. For me not to sleep on the good side of the pillow, drained my spirit whole.
"Terrible..." I wasn't happy with the room. The walls were filthy and good for nothing. Not even a table could hold my precious mirror and makeup tools, which had been standing on the marble floor for a long time. And lastly, so many boxes and shelves are standing around this small room, blocking my view from the outside. Who is this room for?
"Where's everyone...? Am I...alone?"
"Crumpled cloth...blanket not tidy...pillow missing...must be Starglaze..." I examine a friendly mark on the side of her bed. Somehow, I can tell who it belongs to.
"Downstairs...it is..."
I used to be more energetic at this hour. But today was a different day in a different place. The first thing I see downstairs is not a playground filled with Joylings or a caretaker. The wall is not concrete, nor are the steps. It was sullen and narrow as a step.
Yesterday felt like a dream. I was wandering in a fake maze that turned out to be a trick of a wall. Luckily, the scent of this room is nothing like downstairs. The humans have quickly handled the poison I have taken previously.
"Oh...?" I wander down the stairs. Now that a wall is painted with green grass, and the first floor is as simple as it was. Not a maze, no darkness, only a floor with a clear view.
"Pearl, you're awake! This early..." The human mother caught me from the dining room. That call is only a few steps away from the stairway.
They were surprised that I was an early bird. Maybe I wasn't an early bird when I was a human. The humans haven't even prepared anything on the table to eat, and outside is still dark as dusk. How can I be so early before the sun?
The human parents were too busy cleaning off the walls, reminding me that I would've been poisoned again. But these humans caught me by surprise, for they seemed unprepared. It was too early, and none of us were prepared to change.
It was also the first time I saw them without a mask. Mother had a freckle and beautiful brown eyes. Father looked like Graham on his third career and was about to go to work. Both are amazing, and I'm happy to see their faces look better behind the facade.
"Early...? Isn't it late to wake up...?"
"N-no? It's five o'clock! Why would you think so?"
"Because...because Sebastian said humans always wake up early to get their things done. And that I would die if I sleep too late..." I joined the table. I grabbed a cookie and was ready to eat whatever lay on the table to satiate myself.
"Oh, my. You had it all wrong, Christine. There's no such thing as dead by sleeping! That's a weird human way to scare children into sleeping early! Nobody punishes for you sleeping too late!"
"Really? That's a terrible lie."
Been through many lies with Sebastian, but I keep opening my eyes in disbelief every time I hear so. But what do I do with these truths now? An early bird has been built upon me for a long, and it was the expertise I had.
"Oh, no! I'm so sorry! I'll go back to sleep..." I was thinking of going back to sleep as I thought I was mismanaging myself. But my human parents were not angry about it.
"It's okay! You don't have to sleep again if you're not tired! Sweetie, it looks like you'll be better not sleeping for now. You'll miss so much today..." Mother's words were enough to stop me from reaching the stairs' rail.
"Today? What do we have today? Do we have a show?"
"Aww, you wanted to go for a show?"
"N-no! You don't have to! I'm okay with staying here all day!" I had to shut them off in case they were going the way I feared they would. But I was too quick in my judgement.
"Calm down, Christine. We don't have a show here...we're retired from the stage, remember?"
"*Gulp* R-right..I know! Ehehe...I was just worried that you'll have to...uhm...tire yourself like I do..."
I went for a moment of bonding with my family, hoping to show them appraisal and achievement. But the table didn't look too impressive on me, as if expecting wasn't enough, now they wanted practice from me. Do they want me to dance, too? I don't think they wanted me to look any different.
"So, how was the day in the Institute? Could you tell us more about your friends? Please tell us you're not a loner..."
"I've had a lot of friends. I had a lot of happiest moment in my life to go. Joylings don't forget about my name so easily..."
"Heh, I knew you did. Who couldn't resist the skill of a Starstuhm, am I right? We're all just that special in the eyes of people." My father jokes.
"You get along with your friends, right? Nothing bad happens out of the ordinary? I knew you're not a beast, my daughter. You're far from that."
"I get along with everyone, except Frowlings. Not a good friend to ever trust." I mumbled. But my father finds that name odd and laughable. Though his laugh was rather odd, too.
"Really don't like the name of those people. Just tell me if you had trouble back there that you think we could help you to share. I think we're not too distant when it comes to recognition, dear."
"What happened with this place, then? It didn't look recognizable to me. Are we still recognizable to people?"
There was a silence, and everyone didn't like what I said. My human parents turned to frown when they heard me asking this question, revealing to me what was happening. Starglaze isn't around, so he may have missed something important about these humans.
"Not anymore. Us Starstuhm was no longer the actors we used to be."
"Actors?" My curiosity spiked for the first time since I've heard that. But to imagine that my lineage would bear fame like I do feels connecting to me. However, my hope for their fame and love for the show fell drastically when I heard their answers.
"Since the day Christine was gone, we have no purpose of going on the stage anymore. We...we've put a rest on our spotlight for once." My father sat beside me, holding a cup of water. Just a water.
"We've grown tired of pushing ourselves without a daughter that could feel comfortable in our show. So, the only thing we could have done was to spend the rest of our lives without a stage."
Their glory days were gone because of me, and they chose to distance themselves from humans in hopes they could find peace with me. We both have something in common, and it makes me feel more attached to the feelings. Yet they were happy and content here, unaffected by any outsiders other than me. But it was still a loss.
"Unfortunately, that idea wasn't agreed upon our family. Our closure was too quick and unsurprising..." My father stared at his white mask on the table, thinking about wearing it, perhaps?
"I don't mind! I think you two are already happy with me." I comforted them, but it was not what they were looking for.
"No, not you. Family as in all of us, like your grandfather and grandmother—aunt and uncle—cousins—and pets."
"I don't think the pets cared for more than dog food." My mother intervenes.
"I beg to differ with some creatures."
They returned to me, hands holding my face and lips round in awe. Now they were looking for something in me—something special. My father held my face as he looked upon my eyes with a stunning eye, only for me to find out his insulting compliment. Their lack of understanding in Joylings bothers me.
"Look at those eyes. Dark as the void, yet brightened by a mere star. Is that how life was, my dear?"
"Void? Father, how could you? That's the nightly ocean! Pearl would never dress in the darkness as Frowlings does." I feel insulted.
"Well, what about those pearls? You looked like you'd used them to headbutt someone. You didn't brawl with someone, did you?" My mother was holding my forehead for these bumps on my head.
"No, that's...that's just for a crown placement, mother. It's not—"
"You're a ballet, right? So, did you still know how to dance, daughter?"
"No, father! I—oh, wait...you're right. I do..."
For once, they got something right about me. Mother and father wanted to see the ballet perform like she was on the screensquare. Even without my ballet suit, I still could go for one.
One leg on the floor, toes kissing the ground, and hands spreading horizontally as I trained myself. My human parents watched as I made the first spin around the dining table and them. I was so agile and elegant that even I could make a circle in less than ten seconds.
"Woah..." they awed.
"That was swift! Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm okay, father! It's normal for me!"
I was relentless, practising this move for six years and had never grown tired since. My parents had no idea how ballet had made me an agile girl. So I showed them, turning their jaw even more open. My performance is as stunning as it should be.
"See? I can do this all day! Not even tired..."
"Not tired? Impossible. It's been 5 minutes, and you're still not tired?"
"No..." I smirked.
"Wow. Just wow..."
But one last challenge stood before me on the stage. One jump is all I need to finish this test and make my parents proud. But the thing is, I have never done this without getting hurt. So I have to make it, or I'll fail.
"Oh, not the final leap. Alright, here goes nothing."
I pushed myself for the last jump, hoping I didn't break my toes like I did many. My eyes were closed as I prepared to make that leap of blind eye, and my parents were oblivious to the danger I put myself in. My eyes are opened, and to my surprise, I complete that leap without a cracked toe.
"I..I did? I did! Yeah!!"
"I finally did it! I never did that jump before! I...I—Woah!"
I was too excited and had way too much fun. My ankle left a cracking sound as I was twirling, and I slipped with my face on the floor in return. But as I thought my face would be shattered and Joyus would leak upon my nose, my father came to the rescue and grabbed my hand halfway.
"Christine, watch out, daughter!"
"T-thanks! Woah...I'm starting to lose balance lately. Whatever happened to me...?"
I never thought a human would do that to me. The first time I twirl like this for Sebastian, I fell and cracked my face with an unbearable pain for a sleep. He never helped me—said a crack means a goner for a chance. But here? I felt as if I had a chance.
"So, what do you think?"
"That's a lot of move, Christy. If I was your age, I would've broken my ankle too many times. Now I'm jealous..." My mother commented.
"No need, mother. You'll hurt yourself more than I do. It's not even that good..."
Though I find the dance smooth, I still cannot accept the truth. The only reason my toes didn't crack there is not because I made it but because I used my ankle to hold me back. It cracks, leaks with slight Joyus and bends my foot. Yet, I had to hold the pain before my family.
*Thought* "Ouch...it hurts..." I'll never make that far-leap ever.
"Don't be ridiculous, my daughter. With that leap, your skill par with an international ballet." She mumbled.
—————————————————————————————————
[Second floor]
The sun finally sets by the window. My first time seeing its ascension felt unreal, like a beam of spotlight coming from the distant unknown. Not only is the light warm as fire, the rays where it shines are adoring from the window.
"So warm...." I peered my eyes into the window. What kind of light is shimmering through this window right now? Because it looked more delighted than anything I was told.
"Is this really dawn, mother? It looks more beautiful than I thought..."
"Mother?" I find my mother in a distasteful glare.
"Hm, looks like blue doesn't suit you. Let's have a change for that."
Mother was not happy with my looks. She said I deserved something else than a blue. What's wrong with blue? Even the shadow keeps saying that to me. Aside from the stain on the blue dress, I almost find nothing wrong with my looks. I looked flawless in either blue, pink or even purple.
"Six years passed, and we thought of giving you a bland blue blouse? What do we think? Here, Christine only wears from the best."
The human offers a dark coat as a first style, one that every human wears outside. It is ugly and has no quality of a star. Whoever wore this might have resent their name into the darkness.
"Eh, maybe not? It looks too...forced..." Pearl refuses with ick.
"Fair enough. I've always hoped you never liked it because your father insist..."
She goes for a second one. It was a pale, brown, thick shirt they called a 'sweater' for a cold environment and well covering from neck to toe. Though the fluffy side serves no beauty, and the outside isn't cold.
"Mom, what is that thing? I don't want to look ugly..."
"Right...let me go for another..."
The human goes for the third one. A yellow blouse, but a short one. A younger Joyling, like Pearl, would've fit into that, but it looks like something out of a show—one that Pearl didn't get starred on. Also, why short?
"No, no. That's not even..."
"You're such a picky girl, aren't you? I imagine you wear a lot of gowns in that studio." The mother picked the fourth one.
"Ooh, speaking of dress..."
The fourth one was a great change from many of mother's picks. She gave me another blouse to wear in this house, but more than just a bland blue. It has the colour of my eyeshadow, surprisingly close to my preference despite never mentioning it. The blouse even had its own bowtie and a puffy collar on the pinkish cloth. Luckily, I haven't seen anything strange yet.
"How's this? Not enough for your taste?" The mother replied.
"Hm. This looks too good for me. Are you sure there's nothing behind this?" I quickly checked for any torn or patches. But there was none.
"Really? Nothing? It can't be!"
I go to the bathroom to check for myself. If I was poisoned, I should've felt the presence of Sebastian again. Changing from one blouse to another can be stressful, especially when you have to remember the abomination you are behind the clothes and the reason you were hiding it with your gloves and boots. But the dress? It fits as I needed.
"So, how's the blouse?"
"Well, close to the original! Now I looked more human, right?"
"Did you? I thought you were a human for a second! *Gasp* Am I wrong...?" I had a good laugh thanks to her cheerfulness.
"Aww, mom! You flatter me..."
Knock! Knock! Knock! The knocks on the door silence everything within. Not even Pearl could tell who could be knocking so early today.
"Huh?" We both look in confusion.