It is Maths period again I was allowed in after standing out for twenty minutes and well Aarush was still standing out. Then a student who didn't belong to our class entered the room for the purpose of making an announcement (which our Maths teacher didn't like). 'Anybody interested in music please come to music room.' I don't want to participate but if anything could save me from this unbearable Maths class, why not! So I stood up to move which the teacher didn't like and what do I see Aarush is asking for permission too. Both of us were granted permission to go out (mainly because the teacher wanted some peace which he thought we disrupted). As we passed through XI C I peeked inside in hopes of getting a peak on my dear Moksh. He is just as sweet as he was before. He is the sweetest kid I have ever seen and the best little brother a girl could have. Aarush looked at me with a smirk.
"What do we have here witch looking for her future wizard!"
"Looking for my brother but looks like he is asleep. Old habits don't die!" The reason I corrected him is cause I don't want any wild rumor spreading about me. (If it's about me and spread by him everyone will believe it instantly)
We arrived at our destination. Aarush instantly took his place. Did I ever mention he plays guitar and I hate to admit it but he is actually pretty good.
"Here is a witch who wants to give audition. Guys be careful I don't want anyone of you dying on me cause of a spell this witch casted during her singing. Why are you even giving audition? You already know we all are not interested in listening creeks from your mouth." Earlier I just wanted to escape the class and was not planning on singing but looks like I have to reevaluate. Wait why did I even think about it! I can't sing in front of anyone and if I get selected I'll have to sing on stage in front of so many people. I don't want so many faces staring at me some with expectations and other with boredom. What if I screw up! What will I do then! I think pretending being a bad singer is going to be my way!
"You ready witch none of us is expecting anything from you! I wonder how your family manages listening to your croak all the time" Okay now I am angry! Don't let your emotions interfere with your mission. Why why did that thought even crossed my mind! I am not an assassinanymore besides I have a new life! No one is going to make faces listening to an assassin sing! No one knows my true identity! I can do this or maybe I can't! Stay positive, close your eyes and start your melody.
I closed my eyes and before I had even known it I was totally absorbed in the song 'Past lives couldn't ever hold me down lost love is sweeter when it's finally found ...' I don't know but this song just hits different.
When I opened my eyes everyone in the room was amazed even Aarush was amazed and embarrassed.
"We have to totally take her in! She has a good voice!"
"We can make her even our main singer!" Main singer that would be too much of spotlight!
"We'll think about her position later but yeah you are in!" said our dear grumpy Aarush.
Mumma is gonna be so proud of me! I can't wait to see her! I mean she always wanted me to be on stage.
The rest of the day I just kept looking at the watch. I don't know why but the classes seemed too long! As the last bell rang I paced as quickly as possible to XI C. I saw Moksh waiting for me.
"Let's go!"
"Sisy you seem to be in a hurry. Did something happen?"
"You'll get to know soon enough!"
"Okay!"
Moksh was excited to know what was I in a hurry for. I reached home, before I knew it I was totally bursting with words. I told her how I sang, got selected, about them thinking I could be the main singer, about their shocked faces.
Wait what am I even doing! I have lost it, I am expressing emotions, the same thing I had been taught tohide! I am losing it! But I am not an assassin anymore! New life, new memories, new home, new family, new friends, new purpose, new personality and a new person, that's what I am now.
Mummy was really glad! She has been a lot worried about me since I was little. The thing is I have always been quite, introverted, overthinker and in her opinion I am innocent and naive as well. Being my mother, she is always afraid that this cruel world would tear me apart, but what could tear me even further! She doesn't know my reality. I have always been the one hard to understand. My classmates think I am always silent because I am shy or looking down on them or perhaps just being difficult, Moksh believes I likesilence, in bro's opinion I like speaking only when I feel my words are being valued or I don't need a barrier to speak, then my elder family members that is my parents, grandparents, uncle and Aunt have decided that my silence is a sign I am hurting. The truth is still unknown to me, I have always been silent, as a kid I would speak a lot. I think I was two when I lost them, ever since then I have been quite perhaps because I missed them or perhaps cause there was no one to listen to me.
Life gives you, life takes from you but earlier it felt all life did was take. Life is about losing and gaining, life is about hurting and healing. Life gives you scar and medicine to heal them. It's you who have to look for it. Maybe this new life, this new start is my medicine but somehow I am hurting even now. Sometimes I just wanna disappear. Disappear into thin air. Disappear so no one could find me. Erased from everyone's memories. No matter where I am, how I am, what I am, there is this one constant unwavering feeling 'Sometimes I just want to disappear.'