The sun had already begun to dip below the horizon, casting the school courtyard in a soft amber glow. The faint rustle of leaves filled the quiet, punctuated only by distant chatter from students heading home.
Ellie didn't plan to see Astrid that day. She'd spent the last few weeks avoiding the possibility—taking different hallways, staying in classrooms longer than needed, sitting on the opposite side of any group they happened to share. Distance had become her lifeline, a fragile illusion of healing.
But fate had a cruel sense of timing.
Astrid was there, standing just behind the courtyard garden, in the place they used to sneak off to when they wanted a break from the noise. She hadn't changed much—same eyes, same posture, same stupid gentle smile that made Ellie's heart ache even when she didn't want it to.
Ellie froze when she saw her.
Astrid hesitated too, like she hadn't expected Ellie to actually come.
They stood like that for a moment. The breeze brushed through their hair, soft as a whisper, but it carried the weight of things unsaid.
Then Astrid finally spoke.
"I miss you."
Her voice was soft, almost shy. Like she was saying something forbidden.
"I know you don't want to hear that," she continued, swallowing, "but I do."
Ellie's chest tightened. Every part of her screamed to run, to turn away before she let herself drown again in feelings she'd fought so hard to bury.
Instead, she asked, "Then why did you let me go?"
Her voice didn't come out angry. It came out broken.
Astrid looked down, biting the inside of her cheek, as if trying to form the right answer from the mess of her guilt.
"Because I was stupid," she said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. "Because I thought I was doing the right thing."
Ellie blinked, her arms wrapping tightly around herself, as though to hold herself together.
Astrid took a cautious step forward. "But I never stopped—"
"Don't,"Ellie interrupted, her voice shaking. Her heart beat so loudly in her ears she couldn't think straight. "Don't say it."
Astrid's face fell, her lips trembling. "Why not?"
"Because if you love me…" Ellie's voice cracked, and she looked away, blinking back the tears that burned her eyes. "Then why wasn't that enough?"
There it was. The question she had swallowed a thousand times. The one that haunted her in the quiet moments. That clawed its way into her dreams and woke her up crying.
Astrid had no answer.
And that silence… it was louder than any apology.
Ellie let out a slow, shaky breath. "You said you loved me. You said we were worth fighting for."
"We were," Astrid whispered, stepping closer. "We are."
"Don't." Ellie held up a hand, a fresh tear sliding down her cheek. "You don't get to say that now. You had me. All of me. And you walked away."
Astrid looked like she was about to cry too. "I was scared."
"So was I!" Ellie snapped, her voice finally rising. "But I stayed. I stayed even when it got hard, even when I didn't know what the hell we were doing. I stayed because I loved you."
"I didn't know how to handle it," Astrid whispered. "You—everything we had—it scared me."
Ellie laughed bitterly, wiping her cheek with the sleeve of her jacket. "Yeah, well, congratulations. You handled it by breaking my heart."
A silence fell again. A heavy one.
Astrid looked at her with pleading eyes. "Ellie, I'm not here to hurt you again."
"Then what are you here for?" Ellie asked, defeated. "To remind me of what I lost? To make me hope again, just so you can disappear like last time?"
"I just…" Astrid's voice broke. "I miss you. I think about you all the time. Every song, every class we used to take together, every dumb joke—"
Ellie stepped back. "You think that makes it okay?"
"No." Astrid's voice cracked. "I know it doesn't."
They stood in silence again, the shadows growing longer around them.
Ellie wrapped her arms around herself tighter. "You know, for weeks after you left, I kept waiting. I kept hoping you'd come back, say you made a mistake. I rehearsed what I'd say. Practiced it in my head."
Astrid's eyes glistened. "What would you have said?"
"That it was okay. That I still loved you. That we could fix it." Ellie's voice trembled. "But not anymore."
Astrid looked like someone had knocked the air from her chest.
"I'm not the same girl you left behind," Ellie said softly. "I don't cry in the bathroom between classes anymore. I don't stare at my phone waiting for your name to light up. I'm trying. God, I'm trying so hard to move on."
"I never wanted you to hurt," Astrid whispered.
Ellie laughed, pained. "Then maybe you shouldn't have left."
Astrid took another step forward, desperate now. "Can we just—can we talk? Really talk? Just once, without the walls?"
Ellie hesitated.
Everything in her screamed to leave. But another part—the part that still remembered Astrid's smile, Astrid's warmth, the way she used to hold her hand when no one was looking—that part whispered: Stay.
So she sat on the edge of the fountain, staring ahead. Not looking at Astrid. Just… sitting.
Astrid followed slowly and sat beside her.
They said nothing for a while. Just let the breeze fill the gaps.
Then Ellie spoke.
"Did you ever love me?"
Astrid's breath caught. "Yes. God, yes."
"Then why did you act like you didn't?"
"I thought pushing you away would protect you. You deserved better than someone who didn't even know how to love herself."
Ellie turned to her finally, eyes red. "But I chose you. Every time."
Astrid's voice broke. "And I didn't deserve it. I was selfish. I know that now."
Tears fell from both of them now, silent and slow.
Ellie looked up at the sky. "It's crazy, isn't it? How someone can break you… and you still want to hold them."
Astrid reached out, gently brushing Ellie's hand with her fingers. Not grabbing, not holding—just a touch.
Ellie didn't pull away.
"I still dream about you," Astrid admitted. "Some nights, I wake up and I swear I can feel you next to me."
Ellie closed her eyes. "So do I."
Astrid's voice dropped to a whisper. "Do you still… think about us?"
Ellie swallowed hard. "Sometimes. But then I remember what it felt like when you left. And I remind myself why I can't go back."
Astrid looked like she was crumbling. "What if I've changed? What if I want to try again?"
Ellie shook her head. "You don't get to ask that. Not yet. Not now."
Astrid blinked, confused. "Why not?"
"Because I'm still bleeding," Ellie whispered. "And you're the one who left the wound."
Astrid wiped her face, tears streaming freely now. "I'm sorry. For all of it. For being a coward. For not choosing you when you needed me to."
Ellie stood, slowly. Her heart felt heavy, but lighter than it had in weeks. Like something buried had finally been let out into the air.
"I needed to hear that," she said. "But I'm not promising anything."
"I'll wait," Nicole whispered.
Ellie looked at her—really looked. There was still love there, somewhere. But it was tangled in pain, in memories that cut too deep.
"I don't know if I'll ever come back," she said softly.
Astrid nodded. "Then I'll love you from a distance."
Ellie turned and walked away, her steps quiet.
And Astrid stayed behind, alone on the bench, staring at the sky that now burned orange.
For both of them, love hadn't ended. It had only changed shape.
But sometimes, love wasn't enough.