The loud, rhythmic banging of drums echoed down the old cobblestone streets of the historic district in Ciudad Juarez. The sun had just risen and highlighted the grand towers of the Cathedral in the distance—our destination.
Ribbons of all colors of the rainbow flowed and rustled with every movement of hundreds of matachine dancers from all over the state of Chihuahua.
All of them tired and running on faith and devotion—and I was one of them.
We kept going and being guided by our Monarch, our faith and the Virgin of Guadalupe.
It was the last day of the Posada Navideña, a Catholic tradition in Mexico, and we've been dancing from the moment the morning mass of December 23rd ended to the first mass of Christmas eve.
The whole time dancing and at church, I was praying for inner strength and growth.
This was giving me time to reflect on myself.
My experience finally opening up with Lilly may have been heartbreaking and bittersweet, but it taught me a valuable lesson about when it's ok to be vulnerable and when to withdraw.
I was ready to let the old me go.
When I wasn't dancing and praying , I was drawing a lot. I switched between the anime style pin-ups and fantasy creatures.
One creature that had really started to resonate with me had become the Phoenix.
On one of our family outings during the Christmas break, we went to a local dairy that also had a private zoo with plenty of animals you can interact with.
The ones that really caught my eyes were the peacocks— especially the lone white peacock.
Its snowy appearance wasn't as colorful as the others.
But when the sun of the golden hour shines across it's iridescent plumage, it became very mesmerizing.
It's like seeing where the inspiration for the flames of the Phoenix may have come from.
~The Phoenix burns at its end, and from the ashes, rises once again.~
It became an obsession. I even created a small fractured phoenix design that I drew on everything.
My notebooks.
My backpack.
I even drew it on the back of my left hand whenever I was bored.
It became my brand. My personal glyph.
On New years eve, I was with my dad's family anticipating any possible outcome.
Was this Y2K thing really going to happen and create this havoc many people were convinced would happen?
Was this just going to be the start of a new cycle?
Whatever it may be, I was ready to burn the old to be reborn just like the Phoenix.
I had my eyes shut tight during the countdown, every number marking the final moments of the millennium.
3...
2...
1...
"HAPPY NEW YEARS!!
I waited a bit longer to open my eyes to witness some worldwide blackout or other impending doomsday scenario, but that never happened.
My dad and his side of the family were cheering, giving each other hugs and kisses, and of course what would new years be without the champagne.
(I may have helped myself to a cup. Or three. But hey—if the world was ending, I figured I might as well go out with a buzz.)
The only thing left from here is to review my new class schedule.
I was even more excited about this semester.
Because the swimming season was only available during the fall semester, I finally get to sleep in. I even get to hang out on the Island with the misfits during breakfast.
That also meant all those in the swim team got moved to different P.E classes. I got Tennis.
I've Never played, so this should be interesting.
Following that—
is this semesters math course (bleh)
Chemistry (could be fun)
Lunch hour (only the best hour)
French (I was feeling exotic)
Sociology
Art
And English 2b.
There's also the dreaded night school. I wasn't looking forward to that.
It has that same hellish feeling of summer school, only at night.
---
On the first day of the Y2K semester, it felt foreign seeing campus so lively in the morning. I was almost overwhelmed.
All last semester, I had become accustomed to seeing it so vacant before the sun broke light or when class was already in session.
On my way to the courtyard, I spotted Lilly and her crowd at the side of the main entrance.
She smirked at me and flipped me off—I did just the same.
That was already making it feel like it was going to be a great day—a great semester.
It was a little colder that January morning and noticed something different when I made it to that area in the courtyard that we called the Island.
"Where the hell is everyone?"
The Island of Misfits was completely empty.
I looked around to see anyone familiar, but there was nobody.
The library was nearby so I decided to check in there as it was very cold.
Upon opening the doors, I did hear many familiar voices. The Island of Misfits had moved indoors during the cold mornings.
I was smiling, finally feeling like things might turn around this year.
But then I saw her—
CC, sitting on the stairs, tears streaming down her cheeks.
And just like that, the warmth in my chest turned to ice.
Why was CC crying?