A pained groan left my lips as I struggled to open my eyes, pain radiating off every cell in my body with every tiny movement I tried to make. The world around me was pitch black, the only light source being the small glimpse of the moon that peeked out from behind the clouds blanketing the sky. I looked around, trying to process what was going on, my mind still cloudy and unclear. I struggled to connect even two trains of thought together, my mind too preoccupied with the throbbing ache that existed in every part of my body. Pain that only worsened as I attempted to sit, an excruciating pulse of agony throughout my entire body that forced me to flop back down onto the floor with my arms and legs splayed out.
As I attempted to catch my breath, a sudden screeching noise from above quickly drew my attention. I looked around in search of the noise, finding nothing but absolute darkness, that was until I looked upwards after yet another deafening screech. There, perched on top of the roof of one of the surrounding buildings, stood a large flock of motionless crows, all staring down at me with their unflinching blank stare. It was then, as they continued to stare at me, and me to them, that a sudden flash of pain welled in my mind and the memories of the past day flowed through my pain-addled mind.
"Damn they really did a number on me huh." I managed to croak out, my throat dry and hoarse from all the screaming.
At the sound of my grating voice, the crows above quickly took off, leaving me alone and prone on the floor as they flew away and out of sight in a matter of seconds. Leaving behind only fleeting caws and a small rain of shiny black feathers that got lost against the backdrop of the sky, allowing me to once more focus back on myself. Feeling a sudden cold chill brush along my damaged and exposed skin, I once more attempted to stand up, only this time doing my best to ignore the onset of agonising pain this caused.
Eventually, after far too much struggle, I found myself taking deep, painful breaths as I hunched over and rested against the left-hand side wall, finally off the floor. A small laugh escaped my throat, causing my abdominal muscles to spasm uncontrollably as I thought back on to the absolute beating I had just taken.
"I guess those muscles weren't just for show after all." I chuckled, wincing as I did so, all too aware of the state my body was in.
As I thought back on what had happened, despite the beating and the absolute wreck my body was currently in, a sense of pride I had not felt in a long time blossomed within me, pride in having done the right thing. I hadn't just let myself take the easy choice. I did what was right. I stood by my convictions, and nothing was going to diminish the pride and self-satisfaction I felt because of that. Not even the all-encompassing pain I was in.
For a couple of minutes, I simply stood in the alley, the only sound being that of the night breeze as it whipped around me. I wondered what I should do, unsure of my choices. I knew I could try and waddle my way back home, but the idea of my dad seeing me in the state I was in made me quickly discard that option. Over the past month, I had been trying my best to spend less and less time at home after the conversation we had about my illness. It had gotten to the point where I would only go home in order to sleep, leaving immediately afterwards the moment I awoke and got ready. The reason being I simply couldn't stand to face my father.
I knew it was cowardly, but I was simply unable to face the look of anguish I saw in his eyes every time he looked at me, to watch as he attempted to start a conversation with me while his eyes began to water and he looked at me as if I was already dead. Over the past month, the number of times we had even talked could be counted on two hands, the majority of those happening during the first week after I had told him the truth. After that we spoke less and less. Until it got to the point where I hadn't even spoken to him once throughout the past week.
Whenever I did catch a glimpse of him before I left, I would notice how different he looked compared to normal. How his posture was hunched, and his frame was no longer full of muscles and fat like before, instead having become more gaunt and skinny like my own, with his eyes shrunken inwards and accompanied with deep black bags which hung underneath each eye. He looked awful. And it pained me to know that it was all my fault. That it was because of me. So, instead of going back home, and regardless of the severe amount of damage I had sustained, as I looked at the stunning night sky, I decided to go for a walk. A walk with no destination in mind.
I slowly set off, my pace unimaginably slow as I precariously limped forward. Thankfully, as the minutes slowly passed, and I both got accustomed to all the damage I had taken and my muscles got used to moving once more, ignoring the pain I felt, I was able to manage close to a normal person's walking speed. It seemed I was luckier than I had initially thought, as I managed to come out of the beating without any broken bones; a miracle in and by itself.
While walking, I went to check my phone, first to make sure it was still there and undamaged, and second to check the time, unsure of how long I had blacked out for. Unfortunately, It appeared I was out of luck, as the moment I pulled it out I was met with a cracked phone screen and a phone that refused to turn on.
"When it rains, it pours." I muttered.
Without my phone, I looked up to the sky to see the moon hanging off just to the side, not yet at its peak. Going off its placement, I guessed it was around ten o'clock. Meaning I must have been out cold for a couple of hours at least. Such a guess was supported by the streets around me, with most of them completely barren with not a person in sight, regardless of the fact that it was a Friday. There was only me, wandering from one road to another with no destination in mind, simply enjoying the feeling of the cold wind as it soothed my battered skin.
After god knows how long, I was brought out of the trance-like state I found myself in due to the sound of running water coming not far from where I was. It was then, as I looked around at the surroundings I found myself in, that I realised I had been here before. There in the distance, atop a small hill, sat the old oak tree I had seen so many days ago, right after I had left the hospital upon the news of my impending death.
I made my way up the hill, struggling slightly due to the incline, before all but collapsing underneath the large oak tree. My chest rose quickly as droplets of sweat rolled down my face despite the cold temperature that surrounded me. I did my best to calm my breathing, not having realised how tired I had become from simply walking. As I did so, I gazed out at the scenery before me, once again becoming transfixed with the simple beauty it held and allowing myself to get lost within it.
I stared at the slowly flowing river passing beneath me and the way the flowers swayed and bowed under the constant breeze that blowed passed. I could have found myself there all night just staring at the tranquil scene before me. And I probably would have, if it wasn't for the loud shouting I suddenly heard coming from a few hundred metres away. A voice I instantly recognised despite it having been a month since I had last heard it.