Melanie pov
Once we get inside my house, I storm into my room, Vaughn trailing behind me. He grabs my arm and whirls me around.
"Let go of me," I say firmly, pulling my arm away from him. "Why are you doing this to me, Vaughn? Why didn't you just leave me if we can't be together again? Why are you still here?"
His jaw tightens as he watches me, pain reflecting in his eyes. "Because I can't leave you. I don't want to."
I stare at him in disbelief. "But you pretended like I didn't even exist." I hate that my voice sounds so broken and how shaking it is, but there's nothing I can do about that. "Did you know how I feel every time I waited for you to come home? I was so worried about you, I couldn't even sleep until you came back. Even though when you did, you didn't even want to look at me." Now my sobs break. I can't hold it anymore.
"You are hiding something from me, and I know what it is," I continue. "I know you still love her. You're looking for her. I can see it in your eyes, Vaughn. How desperate you are to find her. How angry you are that you can't find her." A tear falls to my cheek, followed by another. And another. I just let it go. All the feelings I've been burying deep down in my heart are now poured out.
Vaughn stares at me as if he's in the same pain. But he doesn't say any word, still listening to me.
"I already sensed it even before I decided to be with you, Vaughn. But then—" I choke in tears. "You made me feel like I was wrong. Like we were real. Like you loved me too."
He looks into my eyes, and my breath catches in my throat as I see the sadness in his eyes. I've never seen him so vulnerable. He opens his arms, as if asking me to run into him now. "Come here," he whispers.
Another sob breaks from me, and I turn around instead. I choose not to look at him, because I'm afraid that it will make me fall again. Deeper.
But then, I feel his warmth seep through my skin as he hugs me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist and placing his cheek close to mine. "On that, you are wrong, Melanie," he says, his voice so soft in my ear. His hand reaches the pearl necklace on my neck that I've always worn since he gave it to me. "I meant what I said when I gave you this. You are my present. You are my future. You are my strength, Mel. You've always been so. I always know that I can get through this, with you by my side."
He plasters a soft kiss on my cheek, and my body shudders.
"Look at me," he begs, but I don't budge, afraid to do so. "Goddammit, Mel. Just look at me." Now, his voice is barely a whisper.
Slowly, he turns me around to face him, and my heart freezes in place when I see that his eyes are glistening with tears.
"What do you see?" he rasps. "Do you still think that my feelings for you aren't real? That I don't love you?" His voice is shaking.
I shake my head, my lips trembling. There is only truth and honesty that I find in those broken amber eyes
"I love you, Mel," he says the three words, and my heart feels like it's about to explode out of my chest. "I'm not losing you." His voice is firm as he says the last sentence, like he wouldn't allow me to run away from him.
How can a man so strong beg me not to leave him?
I always know that his eyes, his words and his touches would be the death of me. But there's nowhere else I'd rather be than here, in his arms. More tears fill my eyes as I see the man I love coming back to me. Is this real? Or is it just a dream?
I'm still finding it hard to respond to his words, so I utter the thing that suddenly crosses my mind, "Jake will kíll you."
He stares at me, as if absorbing my words. "Not if I kìll him first," he says, sounding so determined that I wonder whether he would just do that in order to be with me.
Then he brushes his lips against mine and kisses me slowly while holding me close to him. I respond to his kiss with all my heart, and I'm sure that he can taste my tears as he kisses my lips. For once, I don't give a damn about the world mine revolves only around him now.
"God, I missed you," he whispers between our kisses, and I welcome his tongue as he shoves it into my mouth. I miss his kisses so much. I miss everything about my Vaughn. My hand gets under his shirt and is now touching his bare chest, making a deep growl escape his mouth.
He stops kissing me and lay me down onto the bed while locking his gaze with mine.
Those amber eyes... How can they hold so many emotions inside? Emotions so strong that I barely can keep looking at them. How can his love feel so real now compared to the past few days?
Slowly, Vaughn unbuttons my shirt before taking off my pants and underwear until I'm completely nàked, on the bed, before him. Then he undresses too and put the condom that he always kept inside the back pocket of his jeans. Staring at me, he leans over me until we're face to face, while his fingers reach my slit, making me gasp. He shoves one into my slick opening, which is already wet, as usual, ready for him.
While his face leans closer to mine, he doesn't break our eye contact. "Melanie," he whispers. There is so much passion in his voice, making my heart thump harder. "I told you that I won't give your heart back, because it is mine."
And with that, he thrusts fully into me, making my body jerk upward. It feels so good that I feel a single tear sliding down my cheek. He can't wait to be one with me again, just like what I'm feeling. My longing and desire for him for this past week are now fulfilled.
He continues his thrusts, but it's not like those lustful and bold sèxes he used to give me before — although I never complained about those either. Tonight, it's different. It's so intense. His thrusts are slow. But each is deep, just like the depth of love in his eyes that I'm witnessing. I wrap my arms around his back and moan in pleasure every time he reaches me to the core.
"It's always been you, Mel," he rasps, sweat trickling from his forehead as he continues filling me. "It's you. Only you."
We are one. At this moment, I feel like nothing can separate us anymore. Nothing can tear us apart.
Another tear slides down my cheek. I feel whole. With him. By my side.
And my helpless moans continue to echo inside the room as we go on making love.
*****
The sound of birds chirping in my ear and rays of sunlight on my face wakes me up. My eyelids flicker before I can fully open my eyes. I see the familiar ceiling of my room, but strangely, the plain white woods look more beautiful now. Everything around me seems more beautiful, because nothing can top what I'm feeling inside.
A soft smile touches my lips as I cover my eyes with my hand, sighing. I turn on my side to face the person who has just made me the happiest girl in the world again, who wrapped me in his embrace before we went to sleep last night.
"Vaughn—"" But my words stick in my throat as I see the bed beside me empty. I reach out to touch it. It's cold.
My mind seems to stop. And my heart sinks, so low, to the bottom of an endless pit.
He's gone.
````````
The grip on my phone tightens as my eyes travel around my empty house. I'm still trying to absorb what's happening when my phone rings. When I look at the caller, I'm so surprised that I almost drop the phone to the ground.
Jake.
Inhaling a deep breath, I lean back against the front door before slumping onto the ground, my legs giving up on me. I press the button, answering the call.
"Hi, Mels," Jake's voice echoes in my ear, and suddenly, I feel like crying.
I miss him so much. I want to pour out all that's inside my heart, all the pain I'm feeling right now. I want to tell him about his best friend whom I've fallen in love with.
But the words won't come out, stuck by the lump in my throat.
How am I going to tell him? Vaughn has just broken my heart into pieces, all over again.
"Hey," I said, my voice hoarse.
"What's with the voice?" Jake playfully asks. "Still sleepyhead?"
I let out a fake small laugh. "Yeah. Kind of."
He laughs. "I wish I could lie down on my bed now, but you know, things are super hectic now in the office." He sighs, and I hear him saying thanks to someone over there for making him a coffee.
I imagine him already behind his desk now, probably fiddling some papers and turning on his computer while still finding ways to catch up with me.
"How are things over there?" I ask first before he can ask the question.
"Well," he says. "Challenging, I must say. Tiring as hell, but energising as well, if that makes sense."
A small genuine smile forms on my lips, knowing that it's the way he's saying how much he enjoys it.
"The deadline for our big project is next week, so I'm going to be super occupied, Mel," he says. "But after that, I guess I'll have much free time. I'm thinking about coming over there."
Now, I'm taken aback. Coming over here? Next week? I wish things were less complicated and less confusing between the three of us. But I don't know how that's possible right now, because things are just getting out of hand.
For the first time, I don't want to see my brother yet.
"Is that so?" I ask, trying to sound excited. "That's really nice."
There's a few seconds of silence before he talks again, "Speaking of that, I heard..." he falters, and somehow, I suddenly have a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Some rumors—"
"Jake, I think my friends just arrived in front of the door! I'm sorry, can I go fetch them first? I-I'll talk to you later, okay?"
What a lame excuse to end the call. I hate myself. Jake must have known that I was trying to escape the conversation.
After hearing him saying something like 'Okay', I abruptly hang up and bury my face in my hands, my heart beating fast inside my chest.
******
I open my eyes, waking up to the exposure of sunlight on my face. It's morning already. I sit up on the bed before slowly getting out of it without glancing back, knowing that it's always empty. That I'll never find him there.
It's been exactly a week since Vaughn left after we made love that night, and until this day, he hasn't come back.
I've been forced to sleep every night, without him by my side, while still missing him and still having nightmares about the stalker breaking into my house again. Vaughn said to me that he would protect me, but I don't know how he would be able to do so if he's not even here with me.
I walk across my room toward the door, feeling numb as usual when the vision of him emerging from the bathroom crosses my mind. He would come out in shorts and a towel around his shoulders, his hair still wet as he gives me a good morning kiss with that lopsided smile of his that always creates butterflies inside my tummy.
Coming into the hallway, I slowly walk along it, seeing flashbacks of Vaughn and I making out against the wall while laughing, and him carrying me to my room as we messily kiss each other.
I step into the living room, and my eyes lie to me as they find Vaughn in the kitchen, making pancakes and omelette. He looks at me and smirks, shrugging. This is the time when I usually smile and totter toward him to give him a kiss on the cheek. But now, I realize that there is nothing but thin air.
I'm starting to wonder whether I'm going crazy because I still see him everywhere in this house.
Every corner of it reminds me of him.
His words still ring back in my ear, over and over again.
I love you, Mel. I'm not losing you.
Can't you just trust me on this?
I stare blankly at the view outside the back patio of my house, the ocean and the blue sky above it. Maybe, this is all just a bad dream, and one day, I'll wake up. But then, I've never felt the pain so real that I know I'm not in a dream.
It feels as real as the salty wind blowing through my skin now. I inhale it deeply and wrap my arms around my waist, my heart clenched inside my chest as I think of him and only him.
****
I step on my campus, holding the straps of my backpack as I walk along the corridor, passing other students who are chatting with their friends and joking around.
If one thinks that Vaughn disappeared only from my sight, then they are wrong. Everybody is now looking for him, wondering what might have happened to the brilliant college student and the star quarterback. Now that he's been missing for a week, rumors start to spread. Some of them say that he's following his ex-lover, Camila —I have nothing to say about it.
And some others also say that I'm the girl who is left behind. From what they saw back then outside the club when Vaughn and I were arguing, I can't blame them if they think so.
Then what about Jake? It's about time that he knows it too. I guess that the company's huge project he was talking about has indeed consumed his mind and much of his time. He might haven't got the chance to figure out more, but I know that he's coming here. Soon.
I come to a halt when I pass the football field. My eyes seem unable to stop looking for him, but no matter how hard I try, I still don't see him. Now, right in front of me, I only see his football teammates and their coach. They don't look good. In fact, the coach is yelling, the frustration and disappointment on his face is clear. Of course. They have just lost Vaughn.
Austin catches sight of me, and he rushes to me. When he stops in front of me, he pants. "Have you heard from him, Mel?"
I shake my head, signalling that I haven't.
He's been out of reach. To me. To his friends. And to the rest of the world.
It's like Vaughn Cooper never exists.
Austin curses, looking frantic before rushing back to his team.
I let out a long sigh and look down. It's hard to breathe. My hand shoots to my chest, gripping it, as if itcan make the pain go away.
Is this how you torture me, Vaughn? Is this how you felt when she was gone, disappeared before your very eyes? Is this how much pain you've been feeling all this time?
And just like Camila left him without a word, Vaughn has left me. Leaving me standing here like a fool, heart shattered.