Carter just left them. He didn't even seek revenge. He was just there for what?
They didn't know.
But now they needed a way out. What they did know was how to survive, how to move through all this.
Aman also found bullets for his snub-nose. That was good, he guessed. At least there was some good news and supplies, which they looted. Better than the British, who usually just burned it rather than let the Japs take it from them.
Mei Lian looked at her hand. "I'm not a murderer… I'm not a killer!" She always felt guilty for shooting Carter... but she suppressed the feeling and made herself look okay.
She coped with it, and well, she ended up turning into this… She looked around, then dropped to her knees.
Why? Why was she here again? She didn't like it she was now drawn to violence. But after knowing Carter was alive... something suddenly changed.
"Mei… are you okay?" Aman looked at her, concerned for the girl.
She just smiled and gave a thumbs up. "I'm okay... I just didn't expect who we'd meet today. We really are the worst versions of ourselves right now, huh?" Mei just said that and looked up.
"Hm. Carter lives… meaning you didn't bear anything about murder. You don't need to feel guilty. But the second time I see him... I'm going to kill him for sure," said Aman, firmly, with intention. He didn't care about guilt now. He was the one who wanted to shoot Carter in the face for what he did to him and Mei Lian.
"But why?... You're the killer here now. Not me… not anymore... So my intention was right… I'm really not a monster, huh? It's you," Mei Lian looked at Aman.
"Yeah… that time... I killed them. For what exactly? Frustration? Or I just wanted to prove something... But my hands are already dirty, and you… clean… Just let me do whatever it takes to protect you… I'm never going to let your hands get dirty. Never!"
They both had their talk. It was just realization. There was no turning back once you took a human life… it seemed you suddenly were okay with it. It was never right… but it had to happen sometimes… or he'd be the one who'd lose it now.
...
They both got out from the supplies tent, and it was chaos. Carter was also gone.
Now they wondered how they were going to slip out from here.
Aman drew his snub nose and reloaded it six bullets in the cylinder.
And they both moved.
They walked around the camp. It seemed the higher ups were also planning to leave. They eavesdropped. Apparently, this battle was a total loss. They didn't expect the Japanese to keep moving.
They both found a way to get out from that place. But Aman felt it wasn't enough. He wasn't here for supplies now stuffed inside his sling bag but for all this chaos. Huh. They wondered if they had come here just to see…
There was no excitement in seeing those people kill each other... but at the same time... they both felt empty, not disturbed by it.
How could they kill each other on this scale?
"Let's leave quickly. Whatever happens to them has nothing to do with us," said Aman.
Mei Lian nodded, and they both found a way. Luckily, they managed to leave. At least the Japs hadn't totally surrounded the Brits yet, so it was still possible.
They managed to slip out. It seemed those troops just ignored them, considering they were children but also suspicious. Still, they had something else in mind: not dying.
Now they left the place. Aman saw a few other soldiers a group of deserters, he supposed he should call them.
Aman looked at them. They were also using the same route to escape that hellhole.
Aman's face went blank when he saw the few soldiers in front of them. They still hadn't noticed Aman and Mei Lian yet.
Aman looked at them...
"Aman, don't please," Mei Lian pleaded.
Bam!
Aman aimed his pistol and shot three of them.
They didn't expect it from behind.
"Carter really taught me well with aiming," Aman whispered to himself.
"Why'd you do that?…" said Mei Lian. Her voice wasn't angry. She didn't want to shout... She was just tired. But she didn't sound surprised.
"Huh. I wasn't expecting that reaction…"
"Can I ask why?"
"It's just... I don't know... I really don't know anymore... After killing others, this one seemed easy…"
It started because of one event, and people just got used by it. It was sick sometimes.
Mei Lian didn't ask any further… Should she be scared? No. Should she be disturbed? No.
She just went along… No. Her hands weren't going to do dirty things… She wasn't going to touch that gun anymore… And with Carter seemingly alive, she didn't feel any guilt.
But Mei Lian hoped something… she really hoped she could puke… she really hoped she felt sick… she really hoped she felt scared… It was a weird feeling something people saw as weakness…
But that's what made us human.
Fear, being scared, angry, happy, sad all just pieces of emotion that made us human.
Dehumanizing… Sometimes we dehumanize what's in front of us we dehumanize ourselves… Slowly turning into monsters.
Aman looked at the corpses and kicked them, checking what was with them. There was nothing useful...
Aman had no regard for them. Did he think those deserters deserved it?... Why should he care if they were deserters or not?
They didn't fight for him. They fought for the Union Jack… They didn't care. That's why they ran away.
So the question now why? Why didn't he just… He didn't know. He could've just let them go… But he shot them. Even though they were already dead men. He didn't care.
That shot wasn't even for survival it was just Aman himself.
"Hey… Mei."
"Yes?"
"Can I ask… if I… I don't know… If you can kill me… when the time's right?"
"What are you trying to say?"
"You know... if I suddenly turn against you, maybe you'll feel like I'm going to do something terrible to you. Can you kill me immediately?" asked Aman, looking straight into Mei Lian's eyes.
Mei Lian tried to soften the situation and forced herself to laugh.
"Hahaha, you're joking, right? What kind of question is that? Please stop joking. Well, after all this, it's a bit sickening, but I'm pretty sure we're not going to turn against each other." Mei Lian roughly patted Aman's head.
Aman just sighed and looked up. "Yeah… I probably think too much."
But now, what was important was that they just needed to look forward.
...
"Ahhhh, you really turned into a killer, eh?" Carter looked at them from afar. "Well, that kid, heh, really turned into something. No wonder Henry gave you his stuff."
Carter just vanished.
It was only a matter of time before Carter met Aman and Mei Lian again.
Just a matter of time.
While both of them had carved something deep into their hearts from this madness.