Chapter 36: The Quiet Breaking
Anna
I couldn't breathe.
The second she said it—"I'm Camilla, Eli's girlfriend"—it felt like the air in my lungs turned to lead. Every word, every syllable, sliced through me with the precision of something practiced, planned.
She wanted me to feel it. And I did.
God, I did.
I'd been holding myself together for weeks. Working, smiling, laughing when I had to. Pretending Eli was just my boss, a name on emails and a title in meetings. I avoided him like it was a matter of survival. Like if I gave him space, the ache in my chest would fade.
But it hadn't. And now, it never would.
Because he had moved on.
Because someone else got to have the version of him I'd pushed away. The late-night texts. The easy confidence. The intense focus that used to be mine, even if just for a moment. And she knew it. She threw it in my face with a smile and a red lipstick kiss on his cheek like she was staking her claim.
I didn't cry.
Not right away.
I just walked.
Past the rows of glass-walled offices, past the elevator, past the building itself. I didn't even go home. My feet just kept moving until I found myself on the steps of the house I hadn't been to in weeks—my parents'.
My mom opened the door, instantly worried. "Anna?"
I didn't speak. I couldn't. I just stepped inside and let her pull me into her arms like I was five again and the world was too loud.
We sat on the couch, the afternoon light slanting through the curtains, and I finally spoke.
"I think I made a mistake."
Her hand moved slowly through my hair, patient and quiet. "Tell me."
So I did.
I told her about Thanksgiving. About the kiss. About Kelvin and the way he looked at me like I was everything and nothing all at once. I told her about work, about the distance, about the woman who had wrapped her arm around him like she'd won something. And most of all—I told her about how I didn't know what I was doing anymore.
"I told myself I didn't want him. That it was better if we stayed apart. But seeing him with her—" My voice broke. "It's like I don't know who I am without the ache anymore."
She didn't say anything for a while. Just held my hand and let me break.
Then she said, softly, "You've always been good at protecting others, Anna. But when are you going to protect yourself?"
I blinked at her, confused.
"You walked away from Kelvin because you thought it was the right thing. Maybe it was. But you never forgave yourself. And you didn't let him either. You keep punishing yourself for something that started with love, even if it was messy."
Tears slipped down my cheek. "But what if he's really moved on? What if I'm too late?"
My mom smiled gently. "Then you'll heal. But you'll do it knowing you were brave enough to be honest. To try. That's what matters."
I nodded, heart still breaking but finally understanding what she meant.
Closure wasn't about giving up—it was about being real with yourself. And I wasn't ready to let Kelvin go.
Not yet.
Maybe not ever.