I'm a grown ass man, languishing in my own pit of despair. Why? Because it was all I had.
I had been loyal, I had loved, hardworking and dedicated. But sadly... It was not enough.
For some reason, my fucked up wife still left me for a limped dicked asshole who has all the arrogance, charm and ambition in the world... with none of the skills to achieve it. And for some reason, it was enough for her to divorce me.
Wow....just Wow.
Hey! I was rich. Husband and wife, no kids and hardworking with a work ethic and a likable personality? It was inevitable that I became rich. As fucked up as the world is... business is business, and I was definitely good for business.
And that's why... the fucking judge decided to have me hand over half my wealth to the bitch and her three inched dick lover.
Seriously it was fucked up.
But then again this was my fault... I should have listened to my mama and married her in the Philippines. At least there, we don't have this kind of sacrilegious type shit hovering over every existing marriage, lodged in between every fight or misunderstanding.
There, either you make it work or you don't. You guys take what you owned and separate while both making sure to provide for the kid if there is any. It was simple, it was just, it was envious to the point I should have fought harder and wedded her there.
But alas, my father won. Vowing to pay for the wedding so long as it was done in the U.S. ....my mistake.
Welp, what's done is done, I supposed. Just like my life. As the fucking hotel I stayed for the night burned to ground.
There was no escape, no place to be. Only the fact that I'm trapped with a little girl who was stuck next door, someone I had tried to help only to be stuck along with her.
There was much regret in my life. But nothing... absolutely nothing beats the fact that you would see a young life die, and know you can't do anything about it.
So all I could say was- "I'm sorry."
Not for anything else but for simply failing such an innocent life. And as I held that little girl surrounded by the encroaching flames. I wondered... would I have failed as a father just as I did now.
—.—.—.—.—
I'm alive...
"tata...."
My eyes couldn't believe it... that little girl is alive. As I sat up, I couldn't help but smile at her. A smile she shyly returned.
My hands then gently held her tiny little arms. Making sure that the little three year old girl is unharmed. But as I started to see to her well-being, I noticed the stark difference.
No longer is she wearing the previous yellow sundress but instead a pure white one with frills at the bottom trim. Her short bob cut hair is no longer sizzling in the heat but perfectly combed and well kept, with eyes just as bright and skin unblemished of soot.
Seeing how he was wearing the same white pants and shirt. Kneeling on clear rippling waters barely an inch deep that reflected the clear bkue sky with soft puffy clouds.
I couldn't help but sigh in sadness...
"I'm sorry.... looks like we didn't make it after all."
"No you didn't." I turned to the the one who spoke and froze at what I was seeing. "But you don't have to worry about that."
Just to be clear... I ain't racist. But if someone told me Morgan Freeman was God playing as a human? I would believe them.
"Quite an interesting train of thought there young man." Morgan Freeman is laughing at me... that's just great.
"Yes well. It seems to be a topic in every fucking corner now a days." I answer, my sarcasm leaking through.
"Yes... Well... You were in California."
"...touchè...OH! MY! GOD!" I couldn't help but yell as I took in the image of the woman next to him. "Is Cate Blanchett dead?"
"Oh heavens no." he dismissed, as the woman took by hand the little girl next to me. "Come, walk with me son."
It took three whole seconds before I realized that the woman was taking the little girl. Before I decided, out of some unspoken fear and doubt, reached out to stop them. Only for the man himself to hold me back by a simple and gentle touch on my shoulder.
"Don't worry kid. She's innocent, she has nothing to worry about here. Let the Angel do her job."
"...oh..."
My eyes didn't leave the little girl, not till she was scooped up and slowly floated away. I waved goodbye, as did she, unable to stop my tears.
Relief, well wishes... and even envy.
"Good luck..." I guess, but then again, what is else is there to say.
As I caught up to Morgan Freeman, I simply walked next to him. Waiting for things to slowly make sense. After all, all I have is speculation.
"Not bad for speculations too."
"Oh... Right. Forgot about that." yeah he could read my mind.
Orange.
"Here." he tossed me an orange from... somewhere?
"Huh." then again... I felt like eating so why not.
"As you may have guessed. Yes you are in the after life. Heaven? Not really no. You are at the gates of it though."
That made me freeze mid bite.
"Relax... You're fine. You earned your way here after all. Karma and all that."
"Yes well. I wasn't always at church every Sunday."
"If attendance is what it takes to go to heaven then children wouldn't be here son."
"...sorry."
"Don't be. You were right... 'Those were mere interpretations of men. For how could men perceive god?' ...is what you said right?"
"Hahaha..." a week laugh. It's the best I could offer at an embarrassing moment of debate between me and my mom. "Truth be told. I was just lazy."
"Lazy? Nah. You were tired. Worked your ass off not just for your future but for you parents. Not bad kid, not bad. And it is as you quoted. 'If God can't understand that... then he is no God of mine'. Quite a profound way of saying I don't want to go to church."
His teasing voice and equally humorous smile really does make one blush in embarrassment.
"Anyway... I came to offer you a deal."
Ok that's a red flag.
"It is... You see son, eternity can be boring to a 'grown ass man'."
"Hey! I'm 24!"
"Barely."
"I have a job!"
"Uhuh."
There's no pleasing this guy....
"Too true... anyway, we have veered off topic. Rest is what you have beyond these gates. But before we go to that, I thought to offer you a new lease in life. Nothing big, just a chance."
"What's the catch?"
"Life is. You will live a life and if you earn your place down there well... that's on you." he said with a smile, but I wasn't. Not when the sounds of screaming, of tearing, of sizzling reached my ears... not when fire, rot and brimstone hits your nose.
I shook, unable to even dare to look down. Whatever 'down' even was. So I pushed forward.
"...so I could have peace, or risk peace for another lease in life."
"Yes."
"Why offer me this? I mean, my life didn't amount to much anymore back there."
"Oh that... well, that's more of a coincidence than anything else. Besides this would be a random one. You could get sent to a fantasy world of dragons, of eldritch horrors, in a movie, or even just a completely different timeline or a just a different time at all. Who knows, you just might find yourself as your great great grand nephew or even as your great grandfather or something."
"Can't I choose?"
"You can. But that would mean less advantages for you."
"Wait! Really?" ok that sounds promising.
"Well yeah, karma and shit.... you'll thrive anywhere kid. So long as you try, you will thrive. That and you get one gift. Not a bad deal for a half-Filipino."
A bad deal? That's the fucking jackpot.
"So what will it be."
"Kinda...vague huh." doesn't hurt to probe a little I suppose...
"Life always is, besides, what would the point of you knowing?"
"Well...it could be an advantage."
"Uhuh...forgot I can read your mind?"
"Yes well...ok fine." I guess thinking about getting even was the wrong answer.
"You know son, hate is powerful."
...here we go.
"Stop that."
"Ok." Ok
".... It can be the strongest shield there is, protecting your loved ones. The sharpest blade to strike down any foe, or a sword that can pierce your heart before you even know it. At worst... it would Poison you, slowly. While slowly drowning you to the point that who you were lost to its depths. You have to let go. And maybe, just maybe, you can embrace eternity without the 'What If's'. Just something to consider."
"...ok..."
"Ok. Oh and btw, don't worry about your birthday present."
"Wha-"
That was it. That was all I could utter as he shoved me by the shoulder and found myself falling-
*thud!- Face first into a wooden floor.
"Ow... that hurts."
"You alright there lad?"
I turned to the source of the grumpy voice and found myself face to face with... a fat blob on rags...
"Who are you?"
"You hit your head so hard you forgot my name eh?"
"Uhh..."
"Ahk! Get up Hiccup. We got work ta' do."
—.—.—.—.—
Finding myself in a fantasy world I know only in TV is... surreal.
I can't explain it... Like a part of you felt detached to everything. To everyone. To the very air itself. To see the world as if you were watching it than living it, showing a lack of color that it should. It just looks dull and feels...
"...cold."
"You cold already lad? Its barely Winter." said the fat glob with a hook on one arm and a peg leg as we hobbled to what I believe to be the forge. And that's me basing it on the furnace, and the assortment of weapons littering the place. I remember him as Gobber. Aside from that, nothing.
"Alright lad. I know you just got out of Gothi's tender mercies... Freya knows what that old coot done to ya... But! I need ya here lad! It's been weeks since the previous raid! We expect them foul beast to return any moment now."
"...dragons..." forgot about those things.
"Aye. I got the furnace. I need you at the grinder. You hear me laddie?"
"Yeah... I hear you."
"Good."
My mind was in chaos... my past and my self barely melded. As if remembering the life of one Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third and the half American-half Filipino as a movie. And the one watching them was a different person altogether.
Such detachment... it accentuates the cold and frigid air of- wherever the fuck I am. Cold enough that in seeking warmth, I had drawn close to the furnace. My face close enough to the coals that shone bright like candle flames.
I breath a sigh of relief as I stood close to it. A sense of warmth, of belonging. It was comforting.
Seeing Gobber insert a handful of blades inside knocked me back to reality. And with a bit of restlessness, I went for one of the swords in the barrel. It was a western styled greatsword, a claymore I believe.
I begun running my hand across the sword, taking note of every dent, chip and deformities within the blade and the guard. And as I did so... I can't help but marvel at it. It was beautiful, forged with Damascus steel techniques. Damaged yes, but still.
With a nod I set about to fix it. Removing the pommel, unwrapping the worn straps across the handle, the deformed guard, and finally holding the blade itself. And to my joy, I did so with practiced movements.
It was huge. The blade alone is easily seven inches taller than me! But then again I'm what...eight? I need to eat more, ain't no way I'm gonna go fat or as thin as a twig!
Huh... the blade was warped, as if someone tried it's steel it against an anvil.
*whistle~ I turn to see an appreciative look from the giant goober. "I dun' no what Gothi been feedin' you lad, but best keep going at it. You look as strong as grown man with tha' sword at yer' 'and. Take a swing."
"...Gobber?"
"Go on lad, take a swing!" he said with a bit more eagerness this time.
And so with a shrug, I did. Raising it was easy but as soon as it hits the tip of the swing, I tried to stop the blade only to feel my lungs leave me as my arms felt like they were about to snap. With a bit of self reservation kicking in, I let go. Feeling my arms as if they were burning. I barely registered the clanging of the steel to the stone floor, but I did give my best glare at the fatty laughing at me.
"Hahaha! Yer' strong lad. But not that strong. Keep eatin' whatever it is she feedin' ya! Thor knows you could use all the help ya' could get!"
He is right though. I looked to my hand in wonder and once more raised the sword. No guards, no handles, no pommel no nothing but a inches worth of steel to grip. And still I was able to raise it.
"Oh dun' bother with tha' one Hiccup." said Gobber. "Damn Jorgenson bought tha' one. Johan said it was capable of cutting through shields. Idiot cousin of yours swung it against the anvil. Practically useless now."
"Why not repair it?"
"Unless you know how ta' make a blade like tha' one, I wouldn't know where to start. Best replace it instead. So I gave your uncle a fine new axe."
I don't really know what to say about that. But I can't help but know that I could fix it...make it even better.
"Then you won't mind if I keep it right?"
He looked at me with confusion, but something in his eyes felt, comforting. As if he was... glad.
"Aye lad. You can have it."
His words were gentle and soft that I couldn't help but smile and hug him. He smelled of coal, pines, and mead, yet soft, warm and dry for someone who looked like another threw up on him.
He gave me a gentle pat in the head and from there on in, I decided to repay him, I don't know what to give him yet. But some dedication always helps, no matter how little. So I rushed to the swords waiting to be grinded.
I barely registered finishing, let alone grinding an entire barrel of swords. But with the way Gobber was assessing my work, and looking pleased at it, I knew then not to look at the gift horse in the mouth.
"Well done lad! Fine work ya' did! Go on then take the rest of the day off for yer'!"
And with eager and easy steps, I went to the house on the hill, and found myself...alone.