--I shouldn't have listened.
Sweat trickling down his forehead and dripping down his chin, Subaru was reminded once again of his own foolishness, for what seemed like ages now.
The ringing in my skull was somewhere far away, and my beating heart was crying out in pain.
"You regret asking that... right?"
Looking at the silent Subaru, Roswaal tilted his head in confusion as he lay on his bed.
Subaru was unable to immediately respond to the question from the clown, who was playing with his indigo-colored hair with his fingertips. However, he calmed himself down by breathing quietly,
"I was just a bit surprised. What can I say... I thought Emilia was a bit older than me."
"Oh, you didn't know? Emilia-sama is a half-elf, and though not as long-lived as elves, they are quite long-lived. It's even said that elves won't die unless they are killed."
Roswaal goes along with Subaru's words to hide his true feelings.
The characteristics of the elves he talks about don't seem to deviate much from the characteristics of elves as depicted in subcultures. I don't know to what extent this applies to half-breeds, but at least if we believe what he says, Emilia's real age is――
"There's a sixty year age difference at least… Even though I like older sister characters, I don't have much experience with patterns with such an age difference between me and the target."
"I don't really get it, but… from the way you talk, have you ever come into contact with other long-lived people besides Emilia-sama?"
"Well, immortals and vampires are basic patterns in dating games. There's also the loli-baba category, Ryuzu-san, so she's a pretty sinful character."
However, Subaru doesn't have many non-human or loli-baba attributes. His strike zone is the older sister he admires or a senior at school.
So, as expected, when I heard that there was a 60 year age difference, I had some thoughts,
"But if she's that cute, I can forgive anything. No problem. Emilia-tan is still my number one star."
Also, as is common in this type of setting, it's possible that the long-lived race's longevity means they grow slowly, and that their maturation rate is different to that of humans.
Just like the age difference between animals and humans, a twenty year old for a human could be two hundred years old for an elf.
"If you think about it like that, 90-year-old Emilia-tan is still a youngster, a little girl… no, from an elven point of view, she could be a little girl. Come on, someone that beautiful and sexy and cute is still a little girl… that's already become a genre of its own."
"I know your delusions are getting out of hand, but the reality is much harsher than you think. People grow only as a result of the time they spend there. It's not like elves are slow to mature mentally, either."
"You know, I've been desperately trying to come up with evidence to refute the fact that Emilia-tan has been treating me like a child all this time…"
Even though it was merely wishful thinking, it didn't feel right to be shot down so easily. And as Subaru looked at him with a resentful look, Roswaal added, "Besides,"
Subaru: "I don't really like the idea of turning a blind eye to your true feelings and letting things go as they are. Right, Subaru?"
"――――"
"Do you regret that you shouldn't have heard it from me?"
"...You really are a disgusting person."
Roswaal dug up the emotions he had been trying to cover up and dismiss, somehow trying to swallow them down. Hurling powerless abuse at him, Subaru cursed himself again.
The cross that Emilia carried on her delicate shoulders, the cross that she carried on her back - the dishonesty of hearing it not from her, but from someone else.
"...The Trial showed me the past. I'm sure it's also showing it to Emilia. If that's the case, then the past she is seeing is..."
"If you are going to face the past that you most want to turn your eyes away from… then Emilia-sama must be looking at the day Elior Forest froze over, right?"
Roswaal confirms Subaru's concerns.
And with that thought being supported, Subaru realized just how horrible he had been forcing Emilia to do something.
What it means is to make amends with the past and overcome it, and there is something to be gained from it.
"So then, I can't face the past where I put so many people in ice..."
The scale of the sins that Emilia and Subaru left behind in the past is different.
Of course, it was true that Subaru's feelings for his father and mother were a major issue that he had to resolve even if it meant crossing the boundaries of worlds. He had no intention of taking that lightly, nor would he tolerate it being taken lightly.
But on the other hand, what about the problem Emilia is facing?
Just like Subaru, who was loved, encouraged, and forgiven by his father and mother, will the past she faces affirm her and forgive her for the mistakes she made?
And can we accept this and break away from the past?
"Are you sure that Emilia froze the forest… that elven settlement? I heard that it was almost untouched by human hands. There must have been some kind of mistake…"
"It's true that the facts are unclear. But I have heard the whole story directly from Lady Emilia herself. Lady Emilia herself confessed that she was the one who froze the forest. What kind of words are there to interject there?"
Subaru: "So if you don't know the truth, then that must be a misunderstanding… And to begin with, Emilia isn't the kind of girl who can do something like that…"
"That's not right, you don't understand, that's not right, Subaru-kun."
Subaru tried to cling to him, but Roswaal stretched out his words three times to warn him off. Interrupted, Subaru's eyes took on a menacing look, but Roswaal waved his hand as if he didn't notice.
Subaru: "At this point, it doesn't matter what the truth of the matter is. The problem is that Emilia-sama has solidified her belief that 'I was the one who froze the forest'."
"――――"
Subaru: "That is the truth in Lady Emilia's mind. And the past based on that truth is now bearing down on her at the tomb—so, what do you think we should do?"
"You... what were you thinking?"
Roswaal asks with amusement. Subaru blurts it out without realizing what he really means.
I wondered how, how on earth, this man could even contain a smile in this situation.
Subaru: "This isn't about you sympathizing with Emilia's past or anything like that… you know the weight of what she's carrying, you know the pain, you're making her take on a 'Trial' that you don't even know if she can overcome, so why are you acting so happy?"
"Hmm."
"Isn't that crazy!? You... don't you want to make Emilia king? You're in a position to help her become king, aren't you? I know what you're aiming for. If Emilia overcomes the 'Trials' and liberates 'Sanctuary', then she might gain the support of both the residents of 'Sanctuary' and the people of Arlam Village... I know that."
However,
Subaru: "While you're trying to get her to do that, you're pushing Emilia away when it comes to the crucial part. It's a gamble that won't go through unless we can liberate 'Sanctuary'…how can you remain so calm now when that is on the verge of falling through!"
"..."
"Emilia says she has to become king. I want to make that dream come true. …Do you really intend to make that child king?"
"--Of course there is."
Raising his voice and shaking his shoulders, Subaru poured out his emotions on the silent Roswaal. But Roswaal's answer to his last question had the illusion of pouring cold water on Subaru, whose face was burning with emotion.
Before his eyes, standing in the same place as before, Roswaal - his gaze fixed straight at Subaru. And then,
"Do you intend to make her king? Yes, of course I do. —There is no one more eager to make Emilia-sama king than I am. I have reasons for doing so that are beyond the consideration of you, let alone Emilia-sama herself."
"Ross, what?"
Subaru: "You caught me and asked if I had any motivation, it makes me laugh. It really makes me laugh. ーーAre you not even there yet?"
The tone was laced with quiet anger, and it was the first time Subaru had heard Roswaal express such passion.
However, his passion died down as he spoke, and by the time he finished his speech he was smoldering away. Then he ended with a meaningful comment:
"Subaru-kun, it's unfortunate, but this is all for tonight. I'm still recovering from my illness, so I'd like to take it easy for a bit."
"Well... no, it's fine."
Subaru reaches out his hand to stop Roswaal from ending the conversation, but realizing the futility of saying so, he pulls his hand back.
Roswaal's flippant tone as he concludes the conversation makes it clear that he refuses to go any deeper. If he is serious about refusing everything, then there is no way for Subaru, who is lagging behind even as he lies in bed, to find out more.
Shaking his head, Subaru turned his back to the bed, even as he felt lingering regret.
He said what needed to be said. It is unknown how the people of Arlam Village will be treated, but it is likely that Lewes will not reject Roswaal's proposal.
If he could overcome that, he would certainly achieve progress, not stagnation. Although it was only one of many goals that Subaru had to achieve.
"--Subaru-kun."
Suddenly, as Subaru was about to leave the room, Roswaal called out to him from behind. He stopped in his tracks and turned around to find Roswaal already with his head on the pillow, without looking in his direction.
"You've qualified, haven't you?"
"Ah. Ah, I didn't say that. That's right. I can also undergo the "Trial". If the condition is to undergo that baptism once, then perhaps you too..."
"--No, that's not going to happen. The Tomb will probably never accept me. Now that I've seen the scars of rejection, that's clear to me."
Remembering their exchange in the previous world, Subaru had consciously omitted any mention of "qualifications" and raised his eyebrows in slight surprise. He remembered that in the previous world, Roswaal had been extremely displeased when he found out that Subaru had qualified to take on the "Trials".
There was more than a hint of loneliness surrounding him now.
"...Choose the best option, Subaru."
"what?"
"In this place, you are the one who can move freely. You are not bound by the 'Sanctuary'. And yet, you are not bound by the royal selection process either."
"――――"
"You have to take action, struggle, and take hold of what you desire. Worry, suffer, be confused, and waver, and if you obtain it that way...even if you are not satisfied, even if you cannot accept it, you will be able to see a resolution."
Roswaal spoke without showing his face. Subaru was stunned by the buffoonish remark, so unlike him, and could only stand there looking foolish.
After a while, I realized that I had been encouraged so suddenly.
"What... that's not like you at all. What's wrong, Roz?"
"I just wanted to do something uncharacteristic, that's all. --It seems like I won't be able to make it in time."
Subaru couldn't comprehend those resigned words, but before he could question them, Roswaal rose from the bed and waved his hand, urging Subaru to leave the room.
Seeing this, Roswaal rolled over and removed his consciousness, and Subaru let out a long sigh through his nose,
"good night"
And with that he left the room.
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※
"...I hope I didn't burden you, Roswaal-sama."
Ram was the first to greet Subaru as he emerged from the bedroom, and asked him this question with a sharp look in her eyes.
The pink-haired girl was half a head shorter than Subaru, but the intimidating presence she exuded when approaching Roswaal made her appear twice as large. In short, she had been subjected to too much pressure, causing her to shrink.
"We were just calmly discussing the matter. We're not going to grab each other by the collar or anything, so don't worry."
"That's optimistic. You don't know how terrible it was for Roswaal-sama when he set foot in the Tomb and was rejected...that's why you can talk like that."
Subaru clicked his tongue at Ram's response, not hiding his displeasure. He smirked at Ram's clear prioritization,
"I was just kicked out because I wanted to sleep. ...I think there's no problem because we were able to talk about what we needed to do."
"That's right... At the very least, if Lord Roswaal makes the request himself, I think Lord Lewes will accept it. As for Garf... I'm not sure what his reaction will be, though."
"If she still refuses, then I'll ask her to use your charms. Make her a doll and beg her cutely... can you do that?"
"Don't you think Ram is cute?"
"Well, if we're just talking about looks, I think she's super cute though..."
After all, apart from the difference in hair color, she is the spitting image of Rem. How can she not be adorable? The problem is that Ram's refreshing personality more than offsets her cuteness.
"Despite being with you, Garfiel is quite the glutton. No, you wouldn't know it by looking at him... You're like a pufferfish, you're so painful, so painful, so painful!"
Subaru: "I know you're not praising me, so I'll respond accordingly, Barusu."
Ram snorted as Subaru's eyes became teary after she stomped hard on the top of his foot with her heel. Then she stood in front of the bedroom where Roswaal was sleeping,
"Ram will change Roswaal-sama's bandages and then we will rest. Barusu will sleep in the same cathedral as yesterday. Even if you are Barusu, you should at least remember where we are, right?"
"My sense of direction is actually pretty good. And it's the biggest building here, so there's no way I'd miss it. It's a bit of a pain without any lights, though."
The Sanctuary is an analog household that relies only on starlight. Still, on clear nights, the light pours down from the sky, so it doesn't feel as dark as you might think. But unfortunately, today is cloudy.
Looking outside from inside the building, it was almost pitch black, except for a few faint lights from a few houses.
Although I am a little anxious about the journey home,
"I don't think we'll end up getting lost and wandering into the forest, encountering a beast, and having a BAD END. It'll be fine, it'll be fine."
"I feel like what I just said just made the probability of something that shouldn't exist increased, but it's alright. Barus, the cathedral is just a straight road to the right after you leave here."
"I know. You're the one holding the chopsticks. That culture doesn't exist in this world though."
Since dining here is dominated by silverware such as knives, forks, and spoons, Ram did not seem to understand what Subaru had just said. She wondered if she would ever get the chance to try mass-producing chopsticks by carving them out of wood,
"For now, let's go back to the cathedral… We're not sure if we can return to the village, and we don't want to give them false hope, so we shouldn't bring up the issue of liberation, right?"
"I think that would be the safest option. We can discuss it tomorrow… the earliest we can do so is the day after tomorrow. In the meantime, we should think about how we're going to deal with Echidna's Tomb."
"――――"
As if it were their final exchange before leaving the building, Subaru suddenly stopped moving. Ram gave him a puzzled look, but her expression only deepened as she saw Subaru turn back to look at her. And then,
"...What did you just say?"
A husky question. Hearing it come out of Subaru's mouth, Ram's suspicious expression never faded as she went back in her memory,
"Think about how you will deal with the tomb."
"No. It was a little while before that."
"Don't you think Ram is cute?"
"You've come a long way! ...You said Echidna's Tomb, right?"
Subaru felt that he might make two more mistakes before arriving at the correct answer, so he decided to take the initiative and get to the answer himself, knowing that it would not lead to anything. As he watched Ram nod reluctantly, Subaru placed his hand on his forehead - his mind was stirred up by the torrent of memories that were coming back to him with incredible speed.
"Echidna"
The name of the Witch of Greed, the white-haired girl dressed in what appears to be mourning clothes, the self-proclaimed embodiment of thirst for knowledge, the rare tomboy in another world. And,
"What are you trying to do... playing tricks on people's memories..."
He also manipulated Subaru's memories as a safeguard to prevent others from telling others about him.
At the end of the tea ceremony, and as they were leaving the Trial, she forced Subaru to make a vow. If the price was the right to take on the Trial, then he was willing to accept it.
"Whether it was incomplete or haphazard... either way, the ban has been lifted!"
The restrictions Echidna had placed on Subaru were loosened, and his memories were released.
Subaru remembers all at once his encounter with the witches at the tea ceremony, and then his encounter with Echidna in her uniform in the school building of his original world. Recalling these memories, Subaru comes up with a possibility to break out of this situation. It is almost a forbidden move, but...
"If the cathedral is the one with the chopsticks, then the tomb is the one with the bowl--!"
"Balse――?"
"Come on, stay up a bit late! Don't tire out a person who's just recovered from an illness!"
Subaru raised his hand in response to Ram's call from behind him, and ran out of the building into the night. His destination was not the cathedral where he was sleeping, but the direction of the cemetery which he had left behind only two hours earlier.
Given the time, there was little chance that Subaru's idea could be confirmed if he went now. It was unlikely, but he couldn't just sit back and wait. At the very least, he wanted results that would prove that going at night was no good.
"After undergoing the first 'Trial', a whole lot of things have come to mind. You'll have to invite me to another tea party, Witch... No, Echidna!"
Subaru raced through the streets, making his way through the Sanctuary relying only on the scant natural light.
The cold wind, the damp earth, the sweat on my forehead, the heavy breathing - I pushed my tired body forward, feeling everything. And so I arrived at my destination.
"Hey... I thought you might come."
Blocking Subaru's path was a young man with short, golden hair - Garfiel - guarding the tomb.
※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※
"I'm impressed that you ran in this late at night. Since I was born a man, I have an obligation to make an effort to become stronger. Winbrook is a qualified warrior."
Garfiel stood on the road at night with his arms outstretched, baring his fangs ferociously as he spoke, threatening Subaru. Subaru felt goosebumps on his skin at the sight of his actions.
"Ah, sorry, but I'm not being enthusiastic about running. I don't intend to chat with you here right now. It's not like there's a time limit or anything, but they say good deeds are done in haste…"
"You don't get it, dude."
A sharp sound—the sound of Garfiel bursting through the ground with blinding speed.
Subaru's eyes widened as the soil splattered everywhere, gouging out the shape of his sole into the hard ground. Garfiel gritted his fangs,
"If you turn back now, I'll just pretend you were running in a little late."
"In such a short time, I've been treated like someone who doesn't know anything by two people...how far have I been left behind in the conversation?"
"Well, I suppose that's true. But at the very least, you can't see yourself or your surroundings."
Subaru tries to lighten the mood somehow with his words, but his consideration doesn't seem to reach Garfiel, whose eyes are shining with hostility.
Garfiel touched the white scar on his forehead,
"There's nothing but a graveyard up ahead. You don't want to go that far to pee, do you?"
"Why don't you come and pee with me? Just thinking about pissing on a witch's grave... who knows what kind of revenge I'll get?"
Subaru's friend, Echidna, would likely find it amusing rather than angry. In any case, Garfiel seems intent on continuing the conversation while remaining wary of Subaru.
"You're not planning on taking on another Trial on the same night you overcame one, are you? That would be pretty ruthless."
"I'm not thinking of anything so outlandish. However, I am planning a different approach."
"Is this some kind of evil plan?"
"It's a wicked plan, you know?"
Call it a secret trick, a forbidden move, a mysterious data disc, whatever you like.
If there was any chance that I could somehow illuminate this pitch black darkness where I could only grope my way through, then I would cling to it, suck it down to the bone, extract the broth and drink it down.
"So get out of the way, Garfiel. Put me in the tomb. Maybe I'll come up with a brilliant idea to do something about it all..."
"Sorry, but I absolutely refuse. I will never let you into the tomb."
However, Garfiel's resolve remains unwavering in the face of Subaru's determination.
Garfiel's stubborn refusal to accept Subaru has left him feeling more than confused; he is angry.
Why, why was it this man, none other than him, standing in Subaru's way?
"You must have thought the same thing, right? That's why you did that to me. Even so."
"Don't say things I don't understand. I will never go back on my decision. I won't let you through. I won't let you get involved in the affairs of the 『Sanctuary』."
"You're going to say that... What exactly do you dislike about me?!"
Garfiel's attitude was clearly different from the first day, and from the previous loop. Subaru raised his voice, demanding the truth behind this extremely unreasonable difference in behavior.
Garfiel wrinkled his nose at those words, taking on a truly beast-like expression, and said.
"--It stinks."
"--a?"
Subaru instinctively asked back in a groaning voice.
In response to Subaru, Garfiel put his hand to his nose and said clearly,
"Ever since you came out of the tomb, your body has reeked of the witch's miasma. --You expect me to trust you, the witch-smelling half-demon? Of course not!"
Raising his hands and baring his fangs, Garfiel let out his rage.
"This is a 'Sanctuary'! The Greedy Witch's experimental field! A place where all the mixed-ups and odds and ends are gathered together, with nowhere to go!!"