Hey...
It's been a while.
The last time I wrote here, I was in denial.
Now? I'm in love.
And it hurts.
I feel so weak.
Love is a weakness, and I never thought it would happen to me—not like this.
But here I am, loving someone and ruining it... like I always do.
I'm hurting myself, and my heart aches in ways I can't even describe.
Why can't I just let it be? Why can't I go with the flow like normal people?
Instead, I push him away.
He's kind, genuinely good, and yet I can't stop myself from destroying what could be beautiful.
I don't want anyone to understand me or try to make me feel better. I deserve this pain.
I've convinced myself it's safer to break my own heart before someone else does.
Maybe that's what cowards do.
But even as I say I'm fine being alone, the truth is—I'm not.
Some people don't deserve love, and maybe I'm one of them.
But it doesn't stop it from hurting.