Along the way, I kept wondering: what kind of man could make my wife so deeply attached?
I even guessed that the school heartthrob back then, Lu Feng, must have had a passionate love with my wife!
If that man had always been in her heart, then for me, it was a kind of sorrow.
So I was eager to find out what kind of person he really was.
I hurriedly drove to the building where Gu Xiaofei lived and took the elevator upstairs.
At that moment, the thing I wanted to know most was what kind of man my wife had fallen in love with back then.
I don't know why, but every time I stood in front of Gu Xiaofei's door, I felt a bit uneasy.
Maybe it's because this woman is now my greatest support, and I try to present my best self in front of her.
I adjusted my collar and then knocked on the door.
The door quickly opened, and Gu Xiaofei stood before me in her pajamas.
I could smell a faint fragrance from her.
Perhaps it had been a very long time since I last touched a woman, and as a young man full of vigor, such temptation was simply irresistible.
I myself wasn't quite sure what attracted me to Gu Xiaofei — maybe her charm, maybe her skills, maybe her money, or perhaps just a primal impulse.
I sat down on the sofa while Gu Xiaofei went back into the room.
After a while, she came out with an envelope and tossed it in front of me.
Just as I reached for it, Gu Xiaofei said, "Wait."
My eyes quickly shifted from her to the envelope.
She continued, "Zhao Jian, I paid quite a price to get these materials."
I thought for a moment and said, "This was our deal: I do things for you, and you help me get what I want."
Gu Xiaofei smiled and said, "Looks like you're getting smarter. Maybe you really can become my right-hand man."
I knew she had more in mind by those words, but I didn't argue.
What concerned me most now was the secret inside that envelope.
Gu Xiaofei went on, "I've seen Lu Feng's photos. He really is handsome. If I were a woman, I'd fall for him, too."
Hearing that made me bitter inside; I immediately lost confidence.
After some thought, I decided to take the envelope and open it.
My hand shook slightly—I was afraid there might be some secret I couldn't handle.
The first thing I pulled out was a photo.
It was of a young, handsome guy—tall, sunny-faced, with a dazzling smile.
Seeing such an alluring face, I couldn't help but sigh. I was indeed somewhat inferior to him.
Back in school, I was considered somewhat good-looking, but never outstanding.
Added to that, my financial situation wasn't great, so I never had a girlfriend.
It could be said that Lu Wan was my first love.
After more than a year together, I knew her a little: she was totally a "handsome guy fan."
If someone was good-looking, she found him pleasant to look at.
Back then, my appearance didn't meet her standards, so I had to work very hard to pursue her.
Gu Xiaofei said, "I've heard that Lu Feng was a famous talent at Nanzhou University; almost every girl knew him."
I could imagine how much impact such a handsome guy would have on teenage girls.
Thinking about my wife with another man made me unbearably sad.
But there was nothing I could do—he had innate advantages.
Then I pulled out a second photo from the envelope.
That one was from five years ago when my wife was a sophomore at Nanzhou University.
The photo showed two people—a man and a woman—my wife Lu Wan and Lu Feng.
Youth and vitality shone on their faces, and they were smiling brightly.
More importantly, Lu Wan was holding Lu Feng's neck, looking very happy.
Seeing such a photo, my mood naturally didn't improve—if anything, I wanted to tear it apart.
Gu Xiaofei said, "According to what we gathered, they were indeed a couple during college. But no one knows how far their relationship really went."
I understood that although they were the admired campus beauties and hunks, those old stories were just that—past. No one would mention them.
I looked at Gu Xiaofei and asked, "Where is Lu Feng working now?"
Indeed, it was important to find out what kind of work he did.
Gu Xiaofei replied, "He works in the national electric power department—as an electrical engineer, I heard."
Though Nanzhou University was respectable, in this bleak economy, university graduates still found it hard to get a job.
Lu Wan had struggled before she finally got a teaching position at an elementary school.
Lu Feng's ability to get such a job suggested that his family had some backing.
I had a vague feeling that was probably why my wife and Lu Feng separated.
Around graduation, Lu Wan's mood was very low—she was troubled by many things.
Perhaps because of that, I had my chance, since I stayed with her during that time.
Now I could see many pieces connected by a single thread.
I put the photos back in the envelope and said to Gu Xiaofei, "Thank you."
She replied, "You're welcome. This was my payment to you."
Maybe because of the heavy mood, I left Gu Xiaofei's home in a hurry.
Driving along the road, I kept pondering whether I should tell my wife about this.
Because I loved her, if she wasn't still in contact with Lu Feng, I wouldn't even mention it.
But all the evidence suggested the two of them were still involved.
That was something I couldn't tolerate.
So for the sake of our family, I was willing to talk to her seriously about it.
Before I knew it, it was already afternoon, and I remembered I hadn't eaten all day.
I randomly entered a noodle shop and ordered some beef hand-pulled noodles.
It wasn't really to my taste, but I had no choice.
In the afternoon, I guessed my wife's classes would be finished, so I should go pick her up.
I called her.
"Honey, have you finished your class?"
"I'm in the last class now. About twenty minutes left."
"Okay, I'll wait for you at the school gate in twenty minutes."
After hanging up, I drove straight to the school gate—I didn't want her to wait for me.
In the car, I lit a cigarette and smoked slowly, though my mind was preoccupied.
Twenty minutes isn't long, but waiting felt agonizing.
Soon, my wife came out of the school.
As soon as she got in the car, she said, "Honey, don't come into the school gates anymore. The dean was looking at me strangely today."
I knew I must have made things difficult for her. To work here, you still have to maintain good relations.
Out of concern, I asked, "Did he bother you today?"
She shook her head, "No, I'm a tenured teacher, so he dares not do anything to me. Besides, his matters are not something to be made public."
I said, "If he dares to trouble you, I'll fight that son of a bitch."
She smiled but said nothing. She knew I cared about her.
The days accompanied by my wife were simple, repetitive, but happy.
Tonight, as usual, my wife cooked dinner.
Though the taste was the same as before, what I ate was happiness itself.
While eating, I was still conflicted inside—unsure whether to ask about her and Lu Feng.
This was a sensitive matter. If nothing was going on between them, she would think I was doubting her again.
If there was something, asking would only tear open a bloody wound, and no one would come out well.
So, I could only try to probe her attitude indirectly.