"Do you fear death?"
A question I never thought I'd hear in my entire life.
The white-haired man who brought me to this mysterious place stared at me after he asked the question, and at the time, the only thing I could think about was how he was probably going to kill me—seeing that no one would ask such a question under normal circumstances. But then again, since the day I came home and saw one of the Kamikakushi at my doorstep, my life has been everything but normal.
I remembered what the oni who helped me said—that he couldn't let me die. So, if he and this man are on the same side, they should have similar goals, which means this man wouldn't want me to die either.
After almost a minute of silence, I heard footsteps coming from the far end of the building we were inside. I couldn't really see what was there because there was only one working light bulb in the entire place. The oni turned towards the direction of the footsteps and said, "They're here."
A total of three people came from the far end of the building and walked toward us—well, I wouldn't really call the third individual a "person." The first was a relatively tall man with black hair and several tattoos on both his arms. The second was a woman. She had long red hair and bright blue eyes, but for some reason, she was completely clad in a black cloak. The last "person" was an oni, similar to the one who had helped me in the previous "round."
When they stopped walking, the mysterious white-haired man asked me again, "Do you fear death?"
I looked at him and replied, "Of course I do. There's no human in this world that can confidently say they aren't afraid of dying."
Since he first appeared, he had the same empty expression on his face, but after I answered his question, his expression finally changed from the blank, unattentive look to a softer, more relieved one.
After a bit of hesitation, he said to me, "Let me rephrase my question: Would you rather do nothing, die, and be forever forgotten—or would you rather try to change your fate by taking action, even if you might fail?"
Before I could answer, the woman in the black cloak looked at me and said, "When do you think a person truly dies?"
I paused. "When their heart stops…" I answered.
The woman simply laughed and asked me, "Do you think of yourself as living? Even when no one in this world remembers you? Even when no one in this world can see you? Even when no one in this world notices your presence—can you confidently say that you are alive?"
What she said really hit me, and I don't know when I started talking.
"For almost three years I've been practically non-existent. I walk into a store and the people look at the door as if it was opened by the wind. I go to school every weekday, but during roll call, I always have to shout at the top of my lungs before the teacher notices. It reached a point where—even if I shouted—no one in the class would hear me. So I started writing my name in the attendance sheet by myself after class.
I could easily enter the staff office because no one would notice me, even if I was right in front of them. I only managed to get into high school because my mom knew the owner of the school and told him she had a son. On my first day of high school, it was the same thing all over again. No one noticed me. My life had been going like this for so long that I didn't notice when I started forgetting people's names—or maybe this was just because of the Kamikakushi.
But one thing I can say for certain is that throughout the three years this happened to me, I never felt truly alive. So, to answer your question: No, I don't consider myself to be alive. Because what's the point of my heart beating, what's the point of me being able to walk, what's the point of me being able to see—when to everyone else around me, it's like I don't even have any of those three things. It's like I'm not even there, as if I don't even exist.
But that doesn't mean I'll just sit down and let myself be forgotten. It's because of these things that came from an ancient god, right? And this same 'god' is targeting my mother. She must have experienced things similar to what I've experienced up until now, but she kept moving forward. For now, people still remember her. People can still talk to her. But not for long.
For years, she's been the only person to notice me, to talk to me, to touch me—and I don't want that to end. Even if it means I won't be able to see her when she regains all the memories she's lost, even if it means I won't be able to live my life like I used to before I was cursed by these things, I want my mother—the one person who still remembers me, my one proof of existence—to remain the same. Even if I'm not around after everything, I want her to at least remember me.
So to answer another question you asked me: No, I'm not afraid of death. Because a man only truly dies when he's forgotten."
The woman in the cloak smiled and said to me, "My name is Rose." The other guy with the tattoos looked at me and smiled. The two oni—the one who helped me and the other one that came with Rose and the tattooed man—simply said nothing.
The white-haired man tapped my shoulder once more and said, "My name is Shiro (白)." I later learned that his name was the Japanese word for "white."
Suddenly, a loud sound came from the entrance of the building. Smoke filled the entire place, and out of the smoke came someone I had met before—the man without a face, the leader of the Kamikakushi.
I was confused as to why he was here and how he found me. As I was lost in thought, Shiro called me, saying, "Ezra."
I looked at him, and he asked me, "Are you ready to die?"
I replied, "Yes, I am."
I died.