"I can't remember the last time I lay in a bed this soft..." — my voice trembles slightly, barely a whisper among the warm sheets that wrap around my body. It's warm here. It's quiet. But my eyes... they won't open. They feel caught between two worlds — one where I exist, and one where I've burned so many times I've forgotten my shape. I try to open them. I can't. Darkness. A familiar darkness. This is where I always find myself when I die. This is where I return. This is where I begin again.
A faint smile curves my cracked lips.
"After two hundred and fifty years... I finally know your name, girl beneath the cherry tree. Utsuki."
Such a simple name, and yet, for centuries, you remained a mystery, hidden behind that warm smile and eyes that seemed to see through me. The irony is that now, at the end of a journey that devoured four centuries of my life, the truth came gently like a dream: Tora... is the great-great-granddaughter of the girl who once threw herself at my feet. And Nihon... that quiet child with those distant, frozen eyes... was the girl who crushed the bandit's skull that night of fire and blood. An elf. Just like me. Just as wounded by time.
I remember clearly the moment I realized Nihon carried a different kind of power. A demonic path. I knew it the instant my fist made contact with her body. That shock. That coldness. Like striking a living statue. My mana recoiled, as if touching a vortex. Her presence wasn't natural. It was ancient. It was wrong. She wasn't just a child. She was an abyss dressed in flesh. A power that didn't flow — it coiled, like a serpent. A demonic Authority, not divine, not mortal. Something that commands, consumes.
Still... I chose to protect her. Just like I chose, unknowingly, to protect what Utsuki represented to me — hope. The light that kept sparking within me, no matter how far I was dragged into the dark.
I think back to the years... 421 of them — since my Authority has kept me bound to life, dragging me back every time death took me. An anchor. A point I chose, when I still believed in purpose. I wandered through all the kingdoms, seeking meaning. And I died. I've died over 500,000 times. A number that seems impossible — yet I carry it in my bones, in the silence of my soul, in the nightmares that haunt me even while awake.
Each death added to my mana. My reservoir grew. Beyond comprehension. I am now a walking cataclysm — a vessel so full it overflows. Constantly. I can feel it burning through my veins. A pain so sharp, so relentless. But I can't use this mana. Not properly. Not without destroying everything. Not without destroying myself.
It's a curse. Not a gift. This power brought me only isolation, suspicion, madness. And now... I feel myself breaking. My mind is frayed. Sometimes I hear voices. Other times I forget my name.
A second heart beats within me. Not of flesh, but of power and torment. My Authority. And then there are the seven seals — the chains. Burned into my abdomen, circling the tattoo of a dragon. A seal. Left by my parents — or perhaps those who created me. I never met them. I don't even know their names. But these chains hold something dark inside me — something I don't understand. Even the greatest mages, those who've reached the third tier of mana cultivation, couldn't break them. Maybe it's better that way. If they break... I might no longer be me. The world might not survive.
But more than anything... I hate Fate.
I hate the invisible spider that spins destinies and plays with our souls like toys. It gave me an ability to rewrite fate — and then laughed while drowning me in suffering. What good is it to change the river's flow if the river still leads to a cliff? I don't just want to resist fate. I want to destroy it. To kill it. To erase it from this world's fabric. I want a world where no one suffers because "it was written."
No matter where I would've gone, I would've met Utsuki. If I hadn't been there, fate would have eliminated her like worn cloth. She doesn't belong in a world this cruel. She is color. She is warmth. She is that simple smile that makes me forget how much blood I've spilled.
Utsuki... you're all I have. You're all I've ever had. If I have to die endlessly to keep your smile alive, I will. If you need my body, it's yours. My soul? Take it. Tear it apart if that's what helps you fly. If my love can be your weapon, wield it. If my blood gives you strength, let it pour. If my tears can shield you, I'll cry until there's nothing left.
All I can do is to take your hand and die hoping for a new day.
Because that's all I've ever done. That's all I can do. I've died so many times that even death no longer recognizes me. I've seen the sun rise through ruined cities and crimson dawns where ash rained from the sky. I've come back to life with my lungs full of seawater, fire, poison, darkness — and each time, each cursed time, I have reached out, trying to hold onto a single thread of warmth.
Your hand.
A delicate hand. One I feared would vanish like smoke if I held it too tightly. But in its fragility, it carried the weight of my reason. My fight. My rebellion against everything that hurt, broke, and erased me.
How many mornings have I wished for a new day just to see your face again?
How many times have I fallen into the pit of madness, only to claw my way back, because you were waiting at the edge with a soft smile and no judgment?
Utsuki… your name became the spell that held me together. A soft syllable in the cacophony of my fractured mind.
I remember the first time I saw you under that cherry tree. You didn't even speak. You simply stood there, with petals falling all around you, like time itself had bent to preserve that moment. A moment that should've been forgotten in the tides of eternity, but somehow... it remained.
And now I know why. Because you were always meant to be more. More than a memory. More than a ghost I chased through centuries of blood and fire. You are the anchor I never set, yet the one who steadied me every time I drifted into the storm.
But love... love was never enough in the face of fate. That venomous spider that spins its threads into our skin. Into our bones. Into our hearts.
I've watched countless people cry out, beg, rage — trying to change their destinies. Some prayed. Some bled. Some cursed the stars and burned temples down to ash. But it always laughed in the end. Fate doesn't care for sacrifice. It doesn't barter. It doesn't weep for the righteous. It simply takes. Quietly. Mercilessly.
And still... I want to destroy it.
No, I need to destroy it.
Because even if I have the power to fight gods, even if my mana rivals armies, even if my body revives after every slaughter — what's the point, if I can't protect the one person who makes the world worth returning to?
You.
I've seen you die in dreams. In visions. In timelines that spun out from possibilities I never got to prevent. I've felt the air leave my lungs every time you slipped away. Like drowning, again and again. My Authority always pulls me back, rewinding me like a broken tape, anchoring me to the world when I no longer want to breathe in it. But even that cursed gift cannot erase the pain of watching.
Watching you disappear.
So if there is one thing I can offer — one truth I will die for, again and again — it's this:
I will take your hand. And die, again, and again. Hoping. Always hoping. For a day where we are both alive.
Not just breathing. But living.
A day when your laughter isn't shadowed by danger. When we can sit beneath a tree not waiting for swords to sing. When I don't wake in fear that your scent, your voice, your touch — might be the last I feel.
I would build a thousand worlds to find that day. I would break the heavens and set the stars ablaze to forge a sky where you are safe. I would tear myself apart, piece by piece, if each fragment could become a step you walk upon.
Even if you forget me in the next life. Even if I return as a monster, or a shadow, or a whisper — I will find you.
I will always find you.
Because love is not just longing. It is persistence. It is fire and frost and agony wrapped in a vow you cannot break. Even when the world does.
And I know what I am. I know I've gone too far. My soul is cracked. My mind frayed. I hear voices in the silence. I see blood when I close my eyes. There are nights I wake screaming and do not remember why. There are mornings where I look in the mirror and do not know the face that stares back. Toki. That's the name. But it doesn't feel like mine anymore.
Not without you beside it.
So even if I lose myself. Even if the seals on my body break. Even if the dark thing inside me awakens — I will not let go of your hand.
I can be a demon. I can be a fool. I can be forgotten. But I will never stop walking toward the day where your smile is untouched by sorrow.
Do you remember when we laughed? The first time? Not a soft giggle. Not a polite smile. But real laughter — the kind that shakes the ribs and makes your eyes shine? I do.
Even if the cost is everything I am. Even if I must die screaming in the arms of fate's executioner. If you live to laugh again — even once — it will be worth it.
Because I was never a hero. I was never a chosen one. I was just a man who refused to stop walking.
I've walked across burning deserts and frozen tundras. I've climbed mountains made of bone. I've crossed oceans filled with the dead. I've watched kingdoms fall. I've been crowned a savior and cursed as a devil. None of it matters. Not if it doesn't lead to you.
Some say love is weakness. That it clouds judgment. That it makes you vulnerable.
But love is also the only thing that ever made me strong.
You made me strong, Utsuki.
And I don't need the world's approval. I don't need the gods' forgiveness. I only need you to hold my hand when the sky falls.
So yes.
All I can do...
is to take your hand...
and die...
hoping...
that tomorrow will come.
Maybe we'll burn. Maybe we'll be forgotten by history. Maybe fate will laugh as we shatter against it. But let it laugh. Let it try. Because even fate trembles when faced with a love that won't die.
I will walk with you through fire.
I will walk with you through death.
I will walk with you into madness, into eternity, into oblivion.
And I will carry your name in my mouth even when I forget my own.
So let this be my vow, whispered into the cracks of this broken world:
If we fall, we fall together.
If we rise, we rise for each other.
And if we die... we die with hands entwined.
Hope is a fragile thing. But even the wind listens when two hearts beat in defiance.
Today, we walk on grass.
Tomorrow... on clouds.
And the day after —
we fly to the sun.
Even if our wings melt like Icarus.
Even if we plummet into ruin.
Even if no one remembers our flight.
At least we flew.
Together.
And that is a life worth dying for.
They call it madness, don't they? To love someone so completely that you're willing to burn yourself alive for just one more day beside them.
To wake up knowing the weight of the world is pressing down on you, and yet smile… because she is there. Because her breath, soft and steady, still brushes against your skin. Because you can still feel her.
That's the part they don't understand.
They see the blood, the scars, the fractured soul. But they don't see the reason. They don't see you.
They don't see how your laugh stitches the torn pieces of my mind together.
They don't hear how my name sounds whole only when spoken by your lips.
They don't know what you are to me.
You are not just a person. You are not a fleeting moment in a thousand lifetimes.
You are the proof that I still have a soul.
You are the only thing that reminds me that I am human beneath all this power — this curse.
And even when I forget myself, when the void inside me howls louder than reason, when the darkness seeps into my bones, trying to consume me... your name brings me back.
Utsuki.
A name like spring wind. Like the hush before dawn. Like the moment between heartbeats when the world holds its breath.
You never needed to be my savior. You became my salvation simply by existing.
I've walked through eternity alone. Watched friends die. Enemies rise again. Kingdoms swallowed whole by time.
But even in all that silence... I waited. Waited for a spark. For something to tell me I wasn't just a relic doomed to repeat the same tragedy forever.
And you —
You were that spark.
You, standing beneath that cherry tree, in a memory so old even the world forgot it.
Fate should have taken you from me long ago.
But I was there.
And I will always be there.
You think I don't see it? How tightly fate clings to you, like a serpent coiled around your future, ready to strike the moment I fall?
You think I don't hear the laughter in the void every time you falter? That malicious joy of something ancient and cruel, delighting in your pain?
I see it.
I hate it.
And I swear, even if it costs me every last drop of blood, I will tear its fangs from your future.
Because no more. No more will I allow fate to treat you like a pawn in its twisted game.
You are not a piece to be moved.
You are my queen — radiant, free, and dangerous in your kindness.
And if fate wishes to challenge you, it must first go through me.
Through my broken body, my shattered sanity, my burning soul.
And still —
Even if it kills me.
Even if I scream into the void and it never answers.
Even if I lose all meaning, all memory, all me —
If your hand is in mine,
I will die smiling.
Because I have found something worth dying for.
And far more rare —
something worth living for.
You.
Do you remember what you once told me? That I looked like someone who had forgotten what love felt like?
You were right.
Until you.
Until you dragged it out of me like a surgeon pulling out a poisoned blade. You gave me pain, yes — but it was the pain of healing.
You tore down my walls with kindness sharper than any sword.
You broke me — so I could finally begin to live.
So let the gods watch. Let them whisper about the madman who defies their designs. Let them laugh as I burn. Let them scream as I rise again.
They gave me this curse — this endless loop of death and rebirth.
But I chose what to do with it.
And I choose you.
Not just once. Not just in one lifetime.
But in every life. Every time.
If I must be a monster, then let me be your monster.
If I must fall into madness, then let it be madness in your name.
And if one day you turn away from me — even then, I will walk behind you, never touching, never disturbing — but always there. A shadow praying for your light.
Because this is not about glory.
This is not about vengeance.
This is not about fate.
This... is love.
Raw. Terrifying. Unstoppable.
The kind that does not ask to be returned.
The kind that gives even when nothing remains.
So when I say —
"All I can do is take your hand and die hoping for a new day,"
what I mean is:
I will never stop choosing you.
Not even when this world ends.
Not even when time breaks.
Not even when all the stars go dark.
I will keep reaching for you.
Again. And again.
Until one day, we find a place beyond pain.
A day untouched by fate's cruelty.
A day we can call our own.
Let's dance like two fools,
with bare feet on broken ground,
laughing not because the world is kind,
but because we still can.
Because even when the stars turn away,
and the gods are silent,
we will have this rhythm —
clumsy, stubborn, ours.
Let the heavens mock us.
Let fate scribble her cruel lines in ink that never fades.
Let time scream at us that nothing we build will last.
We'll still dance.
We'll dance through ruins and rain.
Through blood and ash.
Through nights so dark, even hope forgets our names.
And still — we'll spin,
hand in hand,
like fools too stupid to kneel,
too in love with the dream of tomorrow to break.
Let our feet stumble.
Let the music be out of tune.
Let the world call us mad for choosing joy
in a story written in sorrow.
We'll wear our madness like a crown.
Because if this is what it means to be fools —
to keep reaching for the sky with singed wings,
to laugh while the world burns,
to fall and rise again only to fall once more —
then I would rather be a fool beside you
than a king alone.
Let's dance, love.
Even if our steps lead us to death.
Even if the ground beneath us crumbles with every move.
Even if tomorrow never comes.
Let's dance,
with nothing left to prove,
no promises except the ones written in our fingertips,
no music except the heartbeat I feel when your hand finds mine.
Let's dance like this is the first day we ever lived.
Let's dance like we never learned to be afraid.
Let's dance like the world is watching,
and we're showing them how to live — not by winning,
but by loving without apology.
If we are doomed, then let our doom be beautiful.
Let it be loud.
Let it be defiant.
Let it be remembered.
Not as heroes.
Not as monsters.
But as two fools
who dared to waltz through the fire,
smiling all the way.
So come.
Take my hand.
Let's dance until the stars weep.
Let's dance until fate turns her face.
Let's dance until nothing remains of us
but this echo of laughter —
wild, burning, free.
Let's dance,
like two fools
who never learned
how to give up.
Toki's eyes stir. The light creeps in — first a glimmer, then a glow.
And just before the world returns, one last thought carves itself into his heart:
"Help me become the man who will make you happy."
Then the light floods him. The world sharpens.
And three pairs of curious eyes wait patiently for him to awaken.
End of Arc 1:thanks