The slow ache of having my rage consume me completely throbs a pounding rhythm in time with my heart.
Something about this power breaks my body down on a fundamental level.
Elias is taking his time in the bath as usual and never lets me in to piss until he comes out fully dressed. It's only when his hair is still wet that I can see the feminine features he tries to hide with shaggy blonde hair.
I let out a low groan and sit up, it's still dark outside, but Zyre wants the class to meet up at the armory before dawn.
The bathroom door clicks and a way too cheerful voice penetrates the silence.
"Mornin' Kelric! Ready for a day of adventure and triumph?" His smile makes me sick, it's not normal to be this happy so early.
I just walk past him, feeding into the conversation only makes him more annoying.
We seem to be the last ones to arrive everyday and Zyre looks just as unimpressed with our slow pace as usual.
He tosses us each a standard long sword, dagger and wrist shield. There are two packs sitting on the ground that he indicates us to put on.
His voice is tired, and I see that his wrist seems to be healed after our confrontation last night.
"All right, now that the two lackwits have arrived, let's get a move on. I'll explain the particulars of the hunt on the way."
We're led out of Elomburg's grounds and file into an open roof wagon. The donkeys that are supposed to pull us look half dead and flea ridden. The whole scene probably seems rather pitiful to an outside observer.
There's barely enough room to sit downside by side when everyone mounts the wagon and I'm somehow relegated to the front bench to drive the wagon with Zyre.
A quick flick of his hands finally begins the journey of this sorry procession.
"In your packs that I so diligently made you will find a blanket wrapped around your food rations in the large pouch. On the left side will be a full canteen and, on the right, a pulse stone. We will be staying in the forest for a total of two days, so don't rat-fuck the rations, you'll want to eat all of it at some point."
He directed a glare backwards at the grumbling that followed his words.
"In case you're not aware, this isn't a game. We are hunting evolved beasts, not safely practicing in the comfort of the academy. I couldn't get a healer to come with so if you don't take this seriously, you could die."
That seemed to shut everybody up and he continued after making sure all the students understood.
"I'm pretty sure the only person here other than myself to have killed something before is Kelric. Harden your hearts and steel your focus, there is no room for error in the heat of battle. This is also a test of mine for leadership skills. I want two squads of nine to be led by leaders and two team leaders in each squad. Select a commander and vice commander as well, decide this amongst yourselves before we arrive. Hopefully by the time we leave, everyone's nuts will have dropped."
His little joke at the end inspired a few chuckles.
"Can I pass on the last part.. I don't think my future husband would appreciate such a surprise." Annabelle Grant said somewhat disgusted. She was one of the four women in the class and didn't appreciate when Zyre would make such crude remarks.
More snickers followed and soon turned into a discussion that I half paid attention to.
"If you're about to lose control, give me a warning. I can't protect you if you accidentally kill someone." Zyre was staring at me intently.
Shame and self-hatred war within me as I nod.
Each day that passes makes me feel closer to completely slipping. It's only a matter of time before my actions harm someone close to me.
Each night that faint voice comes and tries seducing me with its serpent tongue. Its chant is endless, but the words always escape me. Except one.
Kill.
The word sends a shiver down my spine and prickles goose flesh along my arms.
Even now, I have to clench my fists and fight down the desire within me. My power is devilish, and it seems to want its end of the bargain to be commanding my body.
It was easy in the arena; every day I got to indulge myself in slaughter. Maybe that's where I really belong, maybe that's all I was ever supposed to amount too. A champion of death for the sick entertainment of others.
The wagon bumps down the road and an hour passes before we finally exit the city. The sun is bright by the time we even see the tree line of the Glumsticks.
It's oppressive feeling excites the desire within me. I want to dash in and begin a bloodbath to satiate my thirst. A white knuckled grip on my sword hilt is all that prevents me from doing so. Zyre's intense stare makes me take a deep breath.
"I'm fine."
He doesn't seem to believe me and keeps his hand near my waist until the wagon finally stops.
Zyre claps his hands and gathers everyone's attention.
"Give me the names of the leaders."
Elias steps forward and bows grandly, the stupid antics make a small smile creep across my lips. Snapping to attention, he speaks like an enlisted soldier.
"Great General Zyre, Vice Commander Elias Hayford reporting!"
A low groan escapes Zyre's lips while Elias keeps up the performance.
"We have chosen Kelric Bladebane as our brilliant Commander! Squad A is led by Anthony Blount and Squad B is under Emmit Cidrim! Squad A team leaders are Annabelle Grant and Charles Donnin! Squad B team leaders are Ayvic Flatstone and Madelynn Groushe!"
Elias gives Zyre a salute and waits proudly. Our instructor just drags a hand down his face.
"Did you have to shout.. every.. single.. word.."
Zyre turns to me then, "Alright, they're your idiots now. Lead them into glorious battle or something. Use your pulse stone if you need to talk to me, I will be watching from a distance and will only intervene if things get tricky. Your two days start now."
Zyre walked away and left us dumbfounded. We thought he had a plan, not that he was going to make us figure it out.
I already know Elias is about to piss me off when he walks over and gives me a crisp salute.
"Sir Commander Kelric Sir! What are your glorious orders!" His face is blank, but a hint of smile tries to peak through. He's having a lot of fun tormenting me.
Dean and Jean seem to think this is hilarious and walk over to salute me as well. This leads the entire class to form into their ranks. Soon nineteen morons salute me while trying not to laugh.
Why is nothing ever easy..
"Ugh.. Anthony, Emmit, take your squads and scout the forest for half an hour. Come back immediately if you find any tracks, if you don't, then we'll expand our search radius. How the scouting is done is up to you, just keep wary. Like Zyre said, this isn't a game."
"Yes sir!" Was roared back at me by my eager 'soldiers'. When they didn't move, I raised an eyebrow at Elias.
He indicated what I should do with a smile.
Sighing loudly, I saluted and ordered, "Fall out."
Elias walked over to me after the squads walked into the forest and sat down.
His voice was filled with faux exhaustion, "Whew.. leading an army is a lot of work— oww! Bastard, you didn't have to kick me so hard.."
Only a little satisfaction filled me as I watched him rub his shin.
A question bubbles forth as I stare at him, "Why'd you put me in charge? I'm not exactly leadership material or overflowing with charisma."
Elias murmured, "You can say that again.." before getting up to stand next to me.
"A few reasons really. First, you passed the alternate tests which gives you the edge in practical combat scenarios. Second, you're the strongest and lastly, because everyone already thinks of you as the class leader."
His words give me pause, why the hell does anyone think I could be in charge of anything? I ask him as much.
"Well, I don't really know honestly. The way you silently put in the work everyday probably inspires others to work harder. Haven't you noticed that when you admonish someone, they don't question you? Instead, they just take your reprimand and try to improve. I personally wanted you in charge because I know I can rely on you Kelric."
His words make my head spin a little.
Someone like me is relied on by others?
I want to laugh and wait for Elias to tell me he's joking.
Nobody should ever rely on me, I'm not worthy of that kind of trust. Especially with these increasingly wicked thoughts. What would Elias say if he knew that I've been tempted to grab his neck and squeeze till he breathed no more.
"You shouldn't rely on me Elias, no one should—"
"LaLaLaLaLa I'm not listening, go be a crybaby somewhere else LaLaLaLaLa."
When I embrace him in a hug, we're both shocked.
Keeping him held tight I whisper, "Thank you.." into his ear.
Pushing him back, I dash away while he's still confused.
I don't know why, but in that moment, Elias was finally consolidated in my heart as a friend. I've tried to keep a degree of separation between us, never allowing him to occupy the same space Harry once had.
I'm just a coward that didn't want to move on, but Elias just kept managing to stubbornly wriggle past my defenses.
Thankfully the squads come back and save me the embarrassment of having to confront Elais immediately.
Anthony walked up and snapped a crisp salute, I wonder if he knows he's using the wrong hand.
"Nothing to report, Kelric. Do you want us to scout further in?"
I shake my head and motion the others to come over, "Everyone, take an hour to eat and rest. After you're done, we will begin thoroughly combing the forest."
A cheer of "Yes sir!" went up all around.
Following my own orders, I sit and eat dried meat and dense crackers by myself. Elias didn't come over surprisingly and just kept stealing glances at me with a red face.
Just great, I've upset him.
When we move into the forest after eating, I have everyone set up a makeshift base camp. Making our home in a dense cluster of trees, we have to spend a little more time to clear the area. I felt a little on edge when thinking about the fact I was in charge, if something attacked us at night, I wanted us to be in a good position to retaliate.
The two squads head out after another hour and begin scouting. Elias looked like he was about to say something when a few members from Emmit's squad came running. It had only been ten minutes since they left.
Madelynn is breathing hard while trying to give her report, "We saw a pack of Green Horned Rabbits, the others are keeping an eye on them right now. Do you want us to engage?"
Finally.
Shaking my head, I grab the hilt to my sword.
"Take me there. Sorry, but I want to kill them."
She actually seemed relieved by my words and we're soon rushing off towards Squad B.
We slow when we're finally able to spot the crouched figures trailing the beasts. Emmit jumps when my voice whispers into his ear.
"How many?"
"Gods above—" he clamped his hand to his mouth after realizing he was supposed to be quiet. "There's six, do you want us to surround them and engage?"
I get ready to refuse him but ponder after thinking it over.
"Surround, but don't engage. You can get the ones who manage to run away from me."
Emmit raised an eyebrow before nodding and soon everyone was in position.
I try to hold back the rage inside while walking towards the beasts. It's hard. The Green Horn pack spots me and clacks their sharp teeth rapidly.
They are small in stature, like a regular rabbit. I haven't personally killed any before, but I've seen how fast a few can devour a man whole, back in the arena.
They do not leave even bones behind.
Agile and armed with claws, they swarmed much larger prey with brutality. The ones in the arena had red horns, so I guess that these have a different affinity.
I'm right.
Two dart at me while their horns glow bright, the dirt beneath them moving to supplement a wild side to side dash. They springboard off trees and manufactured mounds of dirt.
It doesn't matter how hard they try to throw me off with the erratic movement, I cut the first one in half when it gets close. The next can't stop the forward momentum and impales itself on the end of my sword.
The other Green Horns are wary now and each clack their teeth loudly in a horrid cacophony of noise.
They surround me and pounce all at once.
Ducking low, a quick flick to the side claims another life as blood splatters me. Rolling, a slash in front of me removes a small head.
A sharp pain in my left bicep makes me drop the sword in my right hand and grab the little monster. The wound wasn't deep, but it was aggravating.
I twist its head off like a ink stopper and throw it away, a smile coming to my lips. The relief I feel at killing is sickening, though it doesn't stop me from relishing the moment.
A cry behind alerts me to the last Green Horn trying to escape. I see it ready to pounce as a dagger appears in my hand.
Emmit was falling backwards trying to cower from extended claws and clacking teeth.
A dull thud echoed when my throw met its mark, the Green Horn writhed in death throes while pinned to a tree.
My aim was slightly off and just missed its heart, so it takes a moment before it stops struggling.
I barely hear the cheers around me as I savor the victory. It wasn't enough to satisfy the desire completely, but I can focus now when I open my eyes.
Emmit looks ashamed when I reach out a hand to help him up.
"Sorry.. I'm a coward.." He says this with watery eyes, and I think he's going to cry.
"Don't worry about, you'll do better next time." My empty words seem to cheer him up.
He nods like he's come to a great decision and sets his jaw.
I let everyone clean the kills and retrieve the cores. It turns out that just below the horns is where they are located.
The twins are happy when we meet back at camp, the odds of them condensing are fairly high now with six earth affinity cores.
We take another break and roast the rabbits; it's a lot tastier than the dry rations even without a coat of seasoning.
My classmates retell the story over and over to the squad and each time my feats are grander. Leaving the group, I take my food and sit alone to be free of the embarrassing praise.
Elias comes over a short while later and tries to joke with me like he didn't try avoiding me half the day. His forced demeanor makes me sad for some reason.
"Did I do something?" The question cuts Elias off in the middle of making fun of our classmates.
"Haha.. what do you mean?" The look of embarrassment plaguing him tells me that he knows what I'm talking about.
I lean over and study his face carefully, squinting at the deepening red cheeks.
"I'm sorry I hugged you earlier, I won't do it again since it made you so uncomfortable." Leaning back, I hope my words let us go back to normal. I really do not like when he avoids me.
Elias shook his head and stammered, "O-Oh! Ahem.. don't worry about it haha.. it was just sudden, and I was caught off guard. Y-You c-can embrace me whenever you wish!"
I don't quite believe him and reach out a hand testingly. When he flinches, I take it back.
"It's okay if you don't like it, I promise I won't do it again."
Elias suddenly takes my hand and I stare at him. For some reason his expression reminds me of Marinah.
A voice with a higher octave than normal shouted, "No! Y-You can feel my body as you wish!"
Dean and Jean had walked over and went slack jawed at his pronouncement. Even my own mouth hung a little loosely.
"That's not what I meant! C'mon guys, believe me! I was just telling Kelric he could..."
Elias grabbed at air towards the retreating twins, desperately trying to clear his shame.
I pat him on the shoulder and cough a little and he looks at me with betrayal in his eyes.