Chapter 7: So Apparently We're the Main Characters… No Pressure
(In which we get hit with existential truth bombs, and I discover I'm dangerously allergic to fate.)
The journey to the floating palace was kind of… quiet at first. Not in a bad way—more like that peaceful silence you get when walking beside someone who gets it. The clouds squished gently under our feet as we walked, puffing up with each step like we were moonwalking through a bakery.
"So… things on your end?" I asked, glancing at Issei.
He exhaled and plopped down on the nearest fluffy cloud, crossing his legs like we were about to do cloud yoga. "They found it instantly."
I blinked. "They?"
"Jiraiya and his crew," he said. "I mean, it didn't take them long to notice you weren't in your body anymore. Something about your chakra being 'wrong' and your speech being 'too modern.' Anyway, they've got me on a full training program so I don't die and your body keeps growing, even while you're gone."
He held out his hand, and I shook it—firm grip, solid eye contact, the whole ninja-turned-brotherhood vibe. For someone who claimed he wasn't good at this stuff, Issei had become surprisingly dependable.
"Jiraiya's also researching the jutsu used by the Fourth Hokage," Issei added. "You know, trying to reverse it. Apparently, it's a super complicated, borderline banned technique."
I couldn't help but smile. That old perv was annoying, but he never let me down when it really mattered.
"Tell them I'm doing good," I said, grinning. "And training while I stay in your world. You won't mind if I put some time into learning martial arts and becoming, you know… a good student."
Issei gave me that lazy grin of his. "Heh, do what you want. I'm loving this experience, to be honest. Enjoy it on the other side—and just don't turn evil, okay?"
"Deal," I laughed.
Then I hesitated, rubbing the back of my neck. "…Do you know anything about a magical girl?"
He stared at me. "Why? Have you started watching that anime?"
"No," I said slowly, "I met a magical girl."
"…You're serious?"
"Yeah. She healed my hand with some kind of magic. Actual glowing, sparkly, boom magic."
Issei's jaw dropped so hard I could almost hear it crack the cloud beneath us.
"The fuck?" he said, voice hushed like we were in church. "I leave for a few days and now there are magical girls?! I haven't even seen a card trick!"
"Yup," I said with a nod. "Weird world."
"Okay, you have to tell me everything next time we meet," he said, still shell-shocked. "Seriously. This is legendary."
"Got it," I said. "By the way… is there anything I need to worry about? Any friends I should watch out for? Problems? Enemies? Secret evil school cults?"
He shook his head. "Nah. We moved just last year, so I haven't made any close friends yet. Honestly, just chill. If you fail a year, no big deal—my parents won't mind. Happens once, they'll write it off as me being a growing boy or something."
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Thanks… and hey, don't die, okay?"
Issei chuckled and reached out his hand. I took it again, this time as a promise between us. His hand was warm, even in this cloud world that had no sun.
"You either, ninja boy."
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So, picture this: me and Issei, standing in front of a massive, glowing palace that looks like it was designed by a celestial architect with way too much time on his hands. Golden pillars, floating lanterns, and clouds drifting lazily through the open hallways. Basically, it screamed important cosmic business happens here.
We exchanged a look.
"Should we knock?" Issei asked.
I shrugged. "You go first. It's your world technically."
Before he could raise his hand, the doors creaked open on their own with a dramatic whoooosh—like someone had pressed the "cinematic entrance" button.
Out stepped… an old man.
Not just any old man, mind you. This one had a third eye on his forehead, a long staff, chakra beads floating around his neck, and the kind of beard that practically screamed "ancient wisdom and bedtime stories." He floated a little above the floor like the universe had given up on making him obey gravity.
"Welcome," he said, voice calm and wise like he spent his free time narrating documentaries. "I am Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki—the Sage of Six Paths."
Pause.
Me and Issei stared at him.
"Wait, that Sage of Six Paths?" I said.
"You're supposed to be dead," Issei added helpfully.
"Extremely dead," I nodded. "Like, a thousand years ago. History book dead."
The old man chuckled, like we were two puppies barking at a thunderstorm. "I am… still somewhat dead," he said cryptically. "But not enough to stop me from interfering when necessary."
"So you're a ghost with Wi-Fi?" Issei whispered to me.
I didn't answer. I was still trying to process that the Sage of Six Paths had just opened a door for us.
Hagoromo didn't even bother defending his undead status. Instead, he floated past us like it was totally normal to meet legends on cloud palaces. "Come. There's much to explain, and little time."
We followed him inside because, honestly, what else do you do when the godfather of ninjutsu invites you in?
He stopped in the middle of a cloud-etched room where the ceiling looked like a galaxy had spilled across it. Then he turned to us and dropped a bomb:
"I'm the one who swapped your bodies."
Me: "WHAT."
Issei: "Bro."
"Why would you do that?!" I asked, throwing my arms up. "We didn't even sign a waiver!"
"Because," Hagoromo said patiently, "your lives, as they were, had become dangerously unbalanced. Naruto, your destiny was weighed down by pressure and isolation. Issei, your world held no immediate challenges, and you lacked direction. This exchange was… necessary. A positive disturbance in both timelines."
We looked at each other, then back at him.
"So, you're saying you just body-swapped us because you didn't like our character development?" Issei said, eyes wide.
"In less dramatic terms, yes," Hagoromo replied. "This path allows you both to grow in ways your original routes could not. Already, Jiraiya and the others have become more serious. Naruto's absence forced them to act faster. And Naruto… you are now in a world where your strength means little, and you must build yourself anew."
I frowned. "Okay… but what about us? Are we just stuck like this?"
"Not forever," he said. "But for now, this is your path. However…" He raised a hand, and the space around us shimmered. "This place exists between your worlds. Each night, you may meet here. Talk. Spar. Share what you've learned."
Issei raised an eyebrow. "Spar? Like, punch each other?"
"Yes," Hagoromo said. "Iron sharpens iron. You will grow stronger, not just in body, but in understanding. In time, both of your worlds will be better for it."
We stood there, stunned, while the Sage of Six Paths just floated there like this was a totally normal Tuesday announcement.
Issei leaned toward me and whispered, "This is so anime."
"Right?" I whispered back.
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Okay. So you know how people say dreams are supposed to be relaxing? Like, floating in the clouds, surrounded by flying unicorns, cotton candy trees, and your crush showing up to tell you you're cool?
Yeah, that is not what happened.
Instead, I was standing in a floating palace that looked like it belonged in an intergalactic wedding catalogue, arguing with a thousand-year-old dead guy who apparently couldn't take no for an answer.
Issei was pacing nearby, muttering something like, "This is insane… magic girls, ninja ghosts… what's next? Talking cats?"
Honestly, same.
We had just been told that some old bearded celestial grandpa named Hagoromo—aka the Sage of Six Paths—had gone and yoinked our souls, switching them like game cartridges, because apparently destiny said our original lives were heading straight into the dumpster fire.
"Okay, slow down," I said, holding up both hands. "Let me get this straight. You just decided to pull a cosmic Freaky Friday on us, without warning, because... you saw a bad ending?"
The Sage of Six Paths—whose beard honestly needed its own zip code—nodded. "Yes."
Issei crossed his arms. "Define 'bad ending.' Like, stubbed toe bad? Or dead-girlfriend-backstory bad?"
"Dead," Hagoromo said flatly. "Painful. Meaningless. And with the potential to drag others down with you. Think… final season of a rushed anime adaptation."
We both recoiled in horror.
"Bro," Issei whispered. "He just compared our lives to that."
"Have some decency, old man," I said. "That's trauma."
But he wasn't done. Oh no. Sage Grandpa had more firepower.
"You had a ninety percent chance of dying young," Hagoromo said. "And in ways that would scar those around you. A painful cycle. Regret. Loss. Cowardice. Wasted potential. I am not willing to let that happen when there is still hope."
Now, don't get me wrong—I'm no stranger to scary odds. I've fought giant snakes, crazy warlords, and Jiraiya's cooking. But ninety percent? That's like… failing the final exam of life hard.
"So wait," I said, frowning. "You're saying we're, like… important?"
"Crucial," Hagoromo said. "In fact, central to your respective timelines."
Issei blinked. "Wait, wait, wait. Does this mean… we're the protagonists?"
I stared at the man. "Like, actual chosen ones?"
"...Yes," Hagoromo said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Cue internal screaming.
Because up until now, I was kinda hoping I was just a background guy with cool hair and a tragic past—not someone who had to carry the narrative on his shoulders.
"You have to be kidding me," Issei muttered. "I thought I was comic relief. Or that guy who's just there for fanservice."
"Nope," I said, letting it sink in. "We're the main characters. Which explains a lot. Like, why random monsters keep showing up to test us. And why every teacher is secretly a badass."
"I'm gonna be honest," Issei said, rubbing his face. "That sounds exhausting."
"It is," I nodded. "Welcome to my world. Literally."
The Sage—because apparently dropping destiny bombs wasn't enough—gave us a totally smug smile. "You may try to undo what I have done. But doing so would invite that ninety percent death rate. You'd be free to try, of course. I won't stop you."
We exchanged a look.
"So basically," I said, "either we go along with your mysterious plan and maybe survive… or we try to go back and get turned into tragic backstory."
Hagoromo nodded serenely.
"Wow," I said. "What a generous offer."
"I feel so empowered," Issei deadpanned. "Thanks, spirit grandpa."
Still, despite the cosmic pushiness, I couldn't lie to myself. A part of me did feel different here. Like this challenge—this switch—was making me sharper. Less dependent on my usual tricks. More… me.
And judging by the way Issei hadn't collapsed in a panic attack after hearing about magic girls and world-ending jutsu, he was growing too.
"Alright," I sighed, finally dropping onto one of the soft, glowy cloud-cushions. "We'll do it. Train. Learn. Be serious. And maybe save two worlds."
"Cool," Issei said. "But we're still calling you Grandpa Beard."
The Sage chuckled. "As you wish."