Chapter 19: How to Fail at Unlocking Superpowers (Gracefully?)
From the still-very-human POV of Teen Naruto (in Issei's slightly less useless body)
Once Kenichi and Hanako waved goodbye—Kenichi limping and Hanako still chirpy like she hadn't just kicked her brother in the face—I plopped down on the park bench like I was 80 years old and had just finished climbing Mount Everest.
Time for the real training.
No more "punch until you're stronger" stuff. No more "watch YouTube and mimic Muay Thai fighters who could break me in half with a sneeze."
Nope. I was going full anime protagonist now.
Which meant… unlocking energy powers.
Ki. Mana. Spirit energy. Anything with a glow and the potential to explode stuff.
I closed my eyes, crossed my legs, and took a deep breath.
My chakra system—the real one—was back in my original body, probably somewhere training with frogs, dodging kunai, or flexing in the mirror. Meanwhile, this body? Issei's? It was… well… a human's. Soft. Kinda squishy. Definitely not made for Rasengan-level energy output.
But… it was changing.
Not something you'd notice in a school photo, but from the inside? Yeah, this body was not normal anymore. I could feel it—muscles that responded too well to training, senses sharpening little by little, reflexes that twitched before my brain did.
My soul was rewriting it, line by line.
That meant something, right?
So, logically, if I couldn't access chakra, maybe I could touch the source of chakra.
Y'know, the raw stuff. The spirit energy and physical energy that combine into chakra. Maybe I could skip the middleman?
Problem: I had never, in my life, used spirit or physical energy by themselves. That's like asking a chef to cook a dish with raw ingredients he's never seen without using a recipe or, you know, fire.
Still, I was Naruto freaking Uzumaki.
Well… Naruto temporarily inside Issei's slightly perverted, still-growing body.
Close enough.
I sat there and focused.
"What would Goku do?" I muttered.
Goku would scream a lot and raise his power level. Maybe punch the air a few times.
I tried that. Nothing happened.
"What about Ichigo?" I whispered.
Ichigo would probably die, talk to a sword, or unlock something mid-emotional crisis.
That… sounded harder to replicate. I didn't have a talking sword. Just a stick. And a few bruises.
"Okay. Fairy Tail? That's pure magic energy."
I concentrated again, this time trying to feel anything. A breeze. A tingle. A whisper of "you're special, Naruto." Give me a sparkle. A floating rock. Even a mosquito that glows.
Nothing.
Just me, the grass, and one very unimpressed squirrel in a tree.
I sighed and leaned back, staring up at the dusky sky.
Truth was, I couldn't feel it. Not yet.
My body still wasn't past that invisible "human" threshold. Sure, I was stronger than before. Faster. But I was still on the wrong side of the "my aura glows now" line.
I had to push further. Harder. Smarter.
No chakra? Fine.
I'd master whatever this world could offer. Spirit energy, ki, magical aura, or some weird combination of all three. If it existed, I'd find it.
Even if I had to meditate under a waterfall, spar with gangs, read comic books, or scream into the sky like a maniac.
I was Naruto. And if the universe was gonna make it hard?
I'd punch it. With glowing fists. Eventually.
For now, though… I sighed and stood up.
"Guess it's time to go home and not burn dinner."
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Okay, so there I was. Alone. Hungry. And standing in front of the most confusing piece of human technology since the invention of the bidet.
The microwave.
Now don't get me wrong—back in the Hidden Leaf Village, I've faced terrifying enemies: monsters made of hate, giant snakes, the entire Akatsuki. Heck, I once fought a literal god with chakra lasers.
But this…
This box of mysterious buttons and radioactive humming?
This was my true enemy.
I eyed it with suspicion. The microwave glared back with its judgmental little display screen, flashing:
"12:00"
…forever frozen in time like it was mocking me.
Miki had kindly left a note on the fridge:
"Dinner's in the fridge, sweetie. Just microwave it for 2 minutes. ❤️ —Mom"
Sweet. Simple. Innocent.
A lie.
I pulled the plate out of the fridge. It was nicely wrapped in plastic, labeled "Curry + rice." I swear I felt a heavenly choir somewhere in the background.
Curry. My old friend. My fuel. My love.
I peeled the plastic back just a little and popped the plate into the microwave. Now for the real mission:
Programming it.
I tapped the "Time Cook" button. Nothing happened.
I tapped it again. Beep. Progress!
Then I typed 2… 0… 0.
So far, so good.
I hit Start.
Nothing.
No beep. No hum. Just… disappointment.
I glared. It glared back.
"Okay," I whispered, rolling up my sleeves like I was about to arm wrestle the Fourth Raikage. "So that's how we're playing it."
Eventually, I hit a combination of buttons that started the countdown—and the microwave whirred to life. Victory!
I waited like a hawk. I mean, Miki trusted me to not burn down her house, and after the earlier "gang unification strategy" and talk of magical girls, I didn't want to push my luck.
Then…
BEEP BEEP BEEP.
I yanked open the door and was hit with a blast of steam. I lifted the plate like it was a sacred artifact.
Mission. Accomplished.
Well, almost.
The rice was perfect.
The curry? Ice cold in the middle.
Of course.
I sighed and put it back in for another 30 seconds, this time remembering to stir it.
As I finally sat down at the table, I realized something weird.
It felt like home.
Yeah, the table was different. The curry didn't have the exact same spice mix I loved. The microwave was an actual gremlin in disguise.
But the quiet? The normalcy? It reminded me of the nights in the Leaf—after training, after chaos, just sitting down with Iruka-sensei or with a warm bowl of Ichiraku ramen.
And even though this wasn't my body, or my world… I felt grounded.
Maybe I wasn't ready to unlock mystical powers yet.
But I'd conquered a microwave.
And that, my friends, is still a victory.
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Dreams are weird.
One moment you're full of curry and snuggled up in bed, and the next you're floating in an endless moonlit field that smells like ramen and faint existential dread.
Classic Sage of Six Paths dreamscape.
I looked down and, yep, I was in my real body. Whisker marks? Check. Chakra humming through me like warm lightning? Double check. Cool wind rustling my ninja robes dramatically even though there were no trees in sight? Triple check.
And right in front of me, leaning against a floating boulder like it was a perfectly normal bench, was Issei Hyoudou—back in his usual dorky form.
"Yo," I greeted, plopping down beside him.
"Hey," he mumbled.
Yup. Something was off.
Usually, dream-Issei was all wide-eyed and full of curiosity like, "Bro, are shadow clones just spiritual NFTs?" or "Do ninja get dental?"—but tonight he was quiet. Kinda... mopey.
"I told your mom," I said casually, giving him a side glance.
His head snapped up. "You what?"
"Not everything!" I said quickly. "Just… the important bits. That you're safe. We switched. That you're in my world, training with a living legend and building up muscle the size of my ego."
He snorted. A little. Then sighed. "She… believe you?"
"She took it better than some Hokage took invasion news," I said. "Didn't freak out. Just asked how you were and whether you were in danger. Then told me to make sure you don't skip school and—get this—told me to get a girlfriend."
"…She would," Issei muttered, rubbing his face.
There was a silence between us. Not the awkward kind. The heavy kind. The kind that settles in your chest when the adrenaline fades and reality catches up.
"Do you miss them?" I asked softly.
He didn't answer right away. Just stared up at the dream stars.
"I didn't think I would," he said finally. "I mean, I always kind of took them for granted, y'know? Like, my mom nags me about socks. My dad forgets my birthday sometimes. But now that I'm not there…" His voice cracked a little. "I dunno. I even miss Dad's dumb dance moves when he thinks nobody's watching."
I gave a small smile.
"Yeah," I said. "I wouldn't know. Never met mine until I was fifteen. Then found out they were legendary heroes and sealed a demon fox in my gut. Fun times."
Issei blinked. "Oh. Wow. That's... dark."
"Meh," I shrugged. "I turned out okay. I mean, emotionally damaged but charming."
He chuckled weakly, then looked over. "Think we'll really get back?"
"We will," I said firmly. "You've got guts. I've got experience. And I'm working on the whole ki-spirit-magic-mumbo-jumbo thing."
"Oh yeah," he perked up slightly. "Did you figure anything out?"
"Not much. I was hoping you could ask Jiraiya how to unlock ki or spirit energy without a chakra system. I mean, chakra's made from spirit and physical energy, right? So maybe if we start from the base…"
"I'll ask him," Issei nodded. "He's mostly been making me run laps and dodging killer frogs. It's like ninja P.E."
"Wait till he teaches you the 'research' method," I muttered with a grin.
Then the dreamscape began to ripple.
We both stood up. It was time to go back to our own bodies.
As we faded, I gave him a thumbs-up. "Hey, tell my world not to fall apart without me."
"And you tell my mom," Issei called, "that her son's still awesome—even if he's stuck in a shonen action arc."
I laughed.
"Got it."
And just like that, the dream ended—leaving behind a quiet, strange warmth in my chest.