I stood in front of Gate -273.
The doorknob was caked in dust—like, years' worth.
I could probably bet my life savings I was this gate's first visitor since the building was built.
「Welcome. Gate -273 at coordinates (0,256,0,0).」
"…Okay."
「Place your wrist on the panel.」
"Right here?"
I didn't even get to finish the question.
A sudden whoosh—like being yanked through a straw.
I was already dizzy, and this didn't help.
I shut my eyes.
Wind.
That was the first thing I felt.
I opened them.
A vast empty field.
A single-lane road stretched out across the middle.
Desolate. Flat. Quiet.
「Challenger recognized. Entry complete.」
A mechanical voice.
I looked down—two lines marked on the pavement.
About a foot apart.
「Game: Palm Push.」
"…What?"
A mechanical whir—
A kid appeared. Just... blinked into place.
He silently stepped up to his side of the line.
Blond hair. Blank eyes. Palms raised.
「If either foot leaves the line, it's a loss.」
"…Excuse me?"
「Thirty seconds until match begins.」
Panic. I stumbled into position across from him.
「Begin.」
No countdown, no warning—
The kid's palm slammed toward mine.
Fast. Too fast.
I wobbled—
My toe slipped over the line.
Damn it.
「1 of 5 attempts failed.」
"…Oh. I get five tries. Nice."
—
Round two.
I wasn't falling for that again.
I planted my heels, flexed my knees, narrowed my eyes.
Steady. Just hold your center. You've got this.
I was seriously pep-talking myself against a literal child.
Kind of funny, honestly.
—
Then it happened.
The kid twisted his wrist mid-push.
Sudden downward force—
My back bent.
"Gah!"
「2 of 5 attempts failed.」
"…What is this kid? Combat AI?!"
—
Round three.
No more jokes.
I took a deep breath. Locked eyes.
If I lose this... I don't even know what happens.
And this is just a tutorial?
I'd never live this down.
Okay. Deep breath. Stay put—
"Pfft."
…Did he just laugh?
A tiny smirk curled his lips.
The next second—boom.
His palm shoved my shoulder.
My foot slipped. Again.
「3 of 5 attempts failed.」
—
Same kid.
But now something was different.
More confident. Sharper eyes.
Wait… is this brat leveling up between rounds?
Round four.
I stepped into position, ready for anything—
POP!
A bright yellow… bonk hammer?
Floated into view midair. Wiggling like it was mocking me.
"…Is that… a toy? What even is this?"
It waved in the air like it wanted me to grab it.
I hesitated.
Too long.
WHUMP.
I didn't just get pushed.
I got folded. Like laundry.
Flat onto my back.
"…Did I just get hit? Was that allowed?"
The kid grinned again.
Clapped the dust off his hands. Turned around.
Faded out.
Gone.
「4 of 5 attempts failed.」
He was back a second later.
Waiting.
Now he was full-on taunting me.
Bent knees, smug face.
Even the bonk hammer was still floating there like, "Wanna try again, loser?"
I reached up and grabbed it.
BONK-HAMMER EQUIPPED
Tutorial-only.
Effect: "STAY HUMBLE~★"
"…Sure. I'll take it."
I stepped into position one last time.
The match started.
No hesitation.
WHACK!!
The kid flew backward like a cartoon—arms flailing.
Satisfying thud.
Perfect sound effect.
BOINK~!
「Victory confirmed. Record: 1 win, 0 losses.」
I exhaled.
Then laughed.
"…Okay. That was kinda fun."
To the side, a glowing door appeared.
The kid was gone.
I, apparently, was now an official Bonk-Hammer User.