Jason's apartment still holds the same air as when he left. His unfinished work and scattered items lay on the table, as if he never truly left—just stopped showing up. The streetlights outside flicker faintly in the quiet night, reflecting on the glass, intertwining with the stillness in the air.
Vanessa stood at the door, her fingers hesitating on the doorknob for a few seconds before she gently knocked three times. She knew she had no right to be here, no right to disturb his life, but she had nowhere else to go, with so many unresolved feelings weighing on her heart.
Jason's voice came from inside, low and weary: "Come in."
Vanessa took a deep breath and pushed the door open. The air inside felt heavy, like an invisible stone pressing on her chest, making it hard to breathe. Jason sat on the sofa, his glass of whiskey lightly shaking in his hand, his eyes distant and cold as they landed on her.
"Why are you here?" His tone was flat, yet there was a slight chill that couldn't be ignored.
Vanessa didn't answer immediately. She stood by the door, biting her lower lip, her mind swirling with emotions. "I... I know I have no right to be in front of you," she said, her voice faint, "but I wanted to talk."
Jason didn't respond right away. He just looked at her, seemingly weighing every word she was about to speak. After a moment, he lowered his head and took a sip from his glass before speaking, his voice soft but piercing, "Talk about what? You betrayed me, Vanessa. Betrayed everything we had."
Vanessa's heart clenched at those words, the pain almost unbearable. She once thought she was ready to face everything, but when confronted with Jason's angry, disappointed gaze, all her courage seemed to vanish in an instant.
"I... I made the wrong choice," she whispered, her voice barely audible, "I thought I could control everything, but I was wrong."
"You were wrong?" Jason's eyes flickered with contempt. "Vanessa, your mistake wasn't just betraying me. You betrayed yourself. What did you think I was to you? Something you could just throw away?"
Vanessa closed her eyes, tears blurring her vision. She had once believed she was prepared for all the consequences, but now, facing the aftermath of her choices, she could barely hold it together.
"No," she murmured, her voice shaking. "I never saw you as something disposable. I just... I thought I could find myself in that relationship."
"You already had yourself," Jason's voice grew quieter, more painful, "That world was mine to build for you. You had your happiness, don't you remember it?"
Vanessa's heart raced, her fingers trembling. She knew Jason was right. The good times they'd shared weren't something she could easily cast aside. But her choice had cost her so much—more than just Jason, more than herself.
"You don't understand," she finally lifted her head, her eyes filled with pain. "In my relationship with Ethan, I lost myself. I never meant to hurt you, I just... I just wanted to escape my loneliness, to have some kind of control over my life."
Jason stared at her with deep, unfathomable eyes. He didn't speak for a long while, and when he finally did, his voice was a mix of quiet anger and sorrow. "Do you really think Ethan gave you that control? Do you think he gave you freedom?"
Vanessa fell silent, then took a deep breath. "I don't know. I just... I felt like I had something with him, something I never had before. I wasn't that lost person anymore."
Jason stood up and walked toward her, stopping just a few steps away. His presence loomed, but his eyes were filled with something more than just anger—there was pity, there was hurt. "You never needed Ethan for that. Vanessa. You always had what you needed." His voice softened, filled with longing. "You just didn't want to see it."
Vanessa's heart broke all over again. She wanted to reach out, to explain, to apologize, but the words wouldn't come. "You're right," she finally whispered, "I've been running away. Running from myself, from you, from everything we had."
Jason stood before her, silent for a long moment. Then, his voice almost a whisper, "We've both been running, haven't we? I've never truly let go of you, even after you betrayed me, even after you chose him. I never stopped thinking about you, Vanessa." His voice wavered with quiet pain.
Vanessa's heart shattered. She lowered her head, unable to meet his eyes. "Jason, I... I don't know how to face you."
Jason watched her for a moment, and then slowly, he asked, "I just want to know—if I never betrayed you, if you never made that choice, could we still be together?"
Vanessa's heart stopped. His words felt like a dagger to the chest, sharp and piercing. She closed her eyes, tears flooding her face. "If I never betrayed you... would we?"
Jason didn't answer. Instead, he turned toward the window, staring out into the night, lost in his own thoughts. For a long time, there was only silence. Then, he sighed deeply, as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. "Maybe we can never go back, Vanessa. But I need to know... if I never betrayed you, if you never made that choice, could we still have a future?"
Vanessa stood frozen in place. Her mind raced. She felt like she was drowning in emotions. And then, she knew—she couldn't change the past, but could she go on living with the weight of all her decisions? Could she face Jason again, knowing what she had done?
Jason turned back to face her. His eyes, full of longing, pierced into her soul. "I never wanted to let you go, Vanessa. But I can't keep doing this. I can't keep pretending I'm okay when I'm not. I want to know if we still have a chance."
Vanessa bit her lip, the guilt and sorrow in her heart overwhelming her. She looked at him, her voice shaky. "Jason... I don't know. I don't know if I can go back to what we were. I don't know if I can go back to us."
Jason's face tightened, his jaw set in quiet resolve. "I don't know either, Vanessa. But I need to know if there's anything left to fight for. Because if there is, I'll fight for us. I'll fight for you."
Vanessa stayed silent, feeling the weight of his words. The pain in her heart seemed to expand, and she realized that, no matter how much she wished she could take back the past, she couldn't. But there was something in Jason's words that made her wonder if they could still find a way back to each other. She reached out, her fingers brushing against his hand.
"I don't know if I can fix this, Jason," she whispered, her voice cracking, "but I... I need time. To figure out if there's anything left to fix."
Jason nodded, his eyes softening. "Take all the time you need, Vanessa. I'll be here."