Five minutes later, the mess had been cleaned by Ino and Sakura, and the meeting resumed.
Unfortunately, Sasuke and Naruto now looked like corpses propped on cushions, occasionally shuddering from residual nausea.
"This won't work," Shikamaru groaned. "No way those two can shoot a kiss scene."
The mention alone made them retch again.
"Watch your wording!" Ino snapped.
"Alright, alright, it's impossible..."
Shikamaru threw up his hands in surrender. "Hinata, you see the situation."
"But rewriting the script would disappoint fans and disrupt the story arc," Shino calmly interjected. "And even if we cut this... oral contact sequence, future scenes will involve more intense physical interactions. It's a romance drama, after all."
"You even renamed the kiss scene 'oral contact sequence'? That's... something."
Hinata twitched.
Then her tone dropped—cold, sharp.
"What do you all think this is? A kiddie game?"
She sat up straight, her voice rising.
"We're not playing pretend. We're a professional production team—perhaps the most promising and independent drama troupe in the entire Land of Fire!"
She looked around at the pale, nervous faces of her team.
"Do you know how much you're getting paid per episode? 100,000 ryō. That's a C-rank mission's maximum reward. And you don't have to split it with your team or pay commission to the village. You're getting elite-level income before graduation. And now you want me to throw that away because you're squeamish about a kiss?!"
She slammed her hand down on the tatami.
"Are you going to whine like this when you get actual missions as genin too?"
No one dared speak. Even Sasuke and Naruto forced themselves upright, teeth clenched. Her words, though harsh, were right—and they knew it.
"Now now, no need to get too worked up, Hinata," Kakashi cut in with a chuckle, trying to diffuse the tension. "They're still students. Some flexibility might help."
In truth, Kakashi agreed with everything Hinata said. A 100,000 ryō payout for a few hours of work—no risk, no danger—was practically a dream. Even jōnin would kill for that.
And since his role as "cameraman" was unofficial, his pay didn't go through the village. He kept the full amount. Asuma had already jokingly called him lucky for landing this gig.
"I still think the kiss scene is necessary," Kakashi went on. "But it doesn't have to be Naruto and Sasuke."
Everyone blinked.
"Right!" he grinned. "We can just use a stand-in."
A wave of realization hit the group like lightning.
In a world where the Transformation Jutsu was taught to toddlers, why had no one thought of this before?
"Perfect!! That means we can swap Naruto out for a real girl!" Ino's eyes sparkled with glee. "And if it's a real girl, Sasuke-kun won't mind, right?"
Blushing furiously, she pressed her hands together. "Hinata, pick me! I played a princess in our school play! I'm perfect for the role!"
"Like hell, Ino-pig! Don't think I don't see through your plan!"
Before Hinata could respond, Sakura burst into full-blown Super Saiyan mode, flames practically roaring behind her.
"If anyone's taking Sasuke-kun's first kiss—it's ME!"
"Shut up, billboard brow! That chance is mine!"
As the two girls grappled and pulled at each other's hair, Hinata gave Kakashi a look of pure loathing.
"This was your brilliant solution?"
"…We could, uh… reconsider the casting?" Kakashi offered, sweat beading on his forehead.
"This is so troublesome..." Shikamaru sighed. "There's only one person who actually fits the role."
He glanced sideways at Shino.
"Indeed," Shino nodded. "Sakura and Ino are… currently indisposed. Excluding Naruto, that leaves Shikamaru, Chōji, Kakashi, and myself—all male, and thus unsuitable for a kiss scene."
He raised his finger.
"So logically, the only one left is…"
His sunglasses glinted as he pointed toward the head of the room.
"You, Hinata."
"Wait—WHAT?!"