The cursor hovered just above the trash icon, trembling with the weight of caffeine withdrawal and existential despair.
Riko Graves squinted at the monitor through half-lidded eyes, one hand buried in a near-empty bag of off-brand cheesy puffs.
His other hand, greasy-fingered and twitchy, was clumsily navigating a sea of digital garbage: "You've won a free cruise!" "Your uncle in Nigeria has died!" "URGENT: Apocalypse Forecast!"
He clicked delete, delete, delete—a mechanical rhythm timed perfectly with the slow drip of a leaky faucet.
His apartment was a shoebox-sized mess of tangled charger cords, ramen cup graveyards, and a flickering strip of LED lights that cycled between purple and "depression blue." An open laptop rested on his thighs, slightly overheating the way only cheap plastic and poor life choices could.
The clock on his phone read 3:06 AM.
He sighed. The smell of burnt instant noodles still lingered in the air from two nights ago. Maybe three.
Then he saw it.
"HOT INTERNSHIP OPPORTUNITY – ZERO EXPERIENCE REQUIRED"FROM: [email protected]
"…Cute," Riko muttered, cracking his neck. "Probably gonna ask me for my blood type or social security number."
He clicked it anyway.
To look at the new type of scam.
The email body unfolded like an old scroll, written in animated font that flickered like candlelight.
"Congratulations, mortal! You have been SELECTED for an UNPAID internship with the interdimensional market leader in sin management and post-life logistics. Accept now to begin your onboarding into the glorious empire of INFERNAL HOLDINGS, LLC."
Below that:[ACCEPT] — in bold red.
And just beneath it, in tiny flickering text:
"By clicking 'Accept,' you acknowledge forfeiture of body, soul, timeline, memory rights, and exclusive afterlife placement. Have a nice eternity."
Riko squinted. His cursor hovered.
"Nice font work," he said, sipping from a stale energy drink that tasted like citrus-flavored regret.
"Man, I wish someone would hire me—even Hell sounds better than unemployment."
His finger twitched.
The cheesy puff in his other hand snapped in two.
He clicked ACCEPT.
For a second, nothing happened.
Then his screen went black.Then red.Then black again.
"Eh?"
A low hum filled the room. The lights flickered. His laptop sparked.
"…What the hell?"
And from the hallway, something knocked on his front door.
knock
knock
knock
Three slow, knocks.
Like a job interview with a shotgun.