💝This chapter is written in an unfiltered, raw style — grammatical flaws and all — to reflect Zhou Ye's true, emotional voice.
It shows intention, not sloppiness.💝
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It was a bright sunny day and it was my first day at college I stepped foot at the college entrance determined to study hard and get placed in a campus interview.Oh!... Sorry forgot to introduce myself I am zhou ye. I am a computer science student . Finally I can be free from high school,now i feel like a free bird . But why do I feel down ,it's because I can't see handsome men in our college because it's a girls college even if it is a girls college I think I can have a friends like I
had in my higher education.As usual,like all colleges in our college they conducted an
orientation program in our college but they were talking like a jelly , the students present there were out of energy when they said program was over all clapped happily and energetic and got out from the auditorium and our seniors directed students to their classroom after entering the classroom i occupied 3rd column left side because teachers won't see us because we have a
strategy that teachers would always see through middle column in joking way. So i sat there and i took out my phone as i was like sitting between the ghosts ,i didnt turn my head and i was messaging my school friends as they also entered the college as i was talking to them suddenly two girls sat beside me ,started to talk to me I was shocked and turned my head to them and said hello ,they also replied hello but the starting was awkward and I smiled lightly and they
asked my name and where I come from ,like that we exchange oru details and we started to talk normally, after some conversations a girl behind our bench she was so silent and she was seeing her phone seriously, we were like what she is doing ,I asked did she talked to you ,they both replied yeah she said hello and she was doing her work I was like ohhh.. actually that day no professor came to our class so we was free. As we were talking ,the girl behind our bench stood up with her phone and walked towards the window and she asked us if she could sit here and we nodded our head she took her bag and sat on our bench and we started to talk to her so she removed her headphones and started to talk to us , so as the conversation goes well
became a perfect group ,our group was like it was balanced by our behaviour because we have same hobby and same mindset ,as we were talking we asked what were you looking at your phone so seriously, she replied ohh that , it was nothing I was seeing kdrama that's why I was invested like that and her name was Xin . It started there I am also a drama lover and balance two of them Their names were Ling and Meng. They look like twins but they are not . They were also a lover of drama and so it was like a blast we were shocked that we have the same habit
and after that we became close and shared our personal matters and the incidents happened in our school .It was lunch time ,we took out our lunch and started to eat . While eating , we are four members . A new girl came to our class she was already admitted to the college she came late because she has to travel 11 hours to come to our college so she applied to the hostel and came to our class late. She was a topper in her school days now you'd have a doubt how she
knows she is a topper in her school days ,it's because I'm orientation program she was telling our senior that she was selected at 1st merit list . Hearing that I was like OMG, and thought she must be a book worm .she walked into the class and sat beside me and introduced herself to us and her sister came to call her to clear the hostel process so she said to us and went.Me and friends were doing their work and I was watching drama and other girl was also watching drama time was spent like that , there was two period balance our professor came to our class
and introduced her and that two periods gone like that at the end of the day i said ,alright guys see you later , i gotta go. But three of them said they will take the same route so i said go home safely and DM me when you reach home . I came to the bus stop and waiting for my bus it was 5:20 pm and that time a bus came and i took that bus it was one hour travel to my house as I was seeing outside the window while standing a middle aged man was standing beside me at
that time a girl fainted suddenly due to low BP .Her friend told her to sit in the seat where she sat and twoelders helped her and gave biscuits to eat .It was sharply 6 pm ,and a middle aged man standing beside me moved to another seat . I was watching my phone ,again a man stood beside me as i was tired and how to say when a man standing next to you you will feel a little
frustrated right , i was like that and when I turned my head and saw him my heart was pounding so fast I can hear my heart beat , sunlight was kissing his face even though ,he was seeing that damn phone and I was seeing his face , and it occurred to my mind , i don't what happened to me at that time I was nervous and my eyes couldn't resist from seeing him, till now i don't know
what was the reason . After a few minutes i got a seat and i sat there and he was standing
opposite to me and I was sitting and seeing him like a rare man and one thing he was not that handsome or charming but it feels like a sudden electric shock in my body and I was lost as i was admiring him that much and my mind said keep control this is a public place and I was seeing my phone and then him and again phone him and window i was doing like that. I think it was 7 pm and the bus was crowded ,as i was seeing the phone I forgot about him and missed him where he went ,
I thought he got off the bus .I was sad and I was looking outside after my stop came I got off the bus and i reached home after finishing dinner and arranging the bed I slept in . But my mind was not in one place ,it was occupied by his face because of him i couldn't sleep all night. The next day as usual i took the bus at 9 am and I was looking for him if he was on the bus but he wasn't.After reaching college, Xin came early to the college and she was watching kdrama and I kept my bag down and joined her after 30 minutes, ling and meng came to the class and started to
say , you have started to watch drama again right ,we both nodded our head with a bright smileand continued our work and they sat . The hour starts so it was a total of 5 hours .The professors came to our class and started to take the lesson... finally it was lunch time we took out our lunch and started to eat , students like us always don't like home food but some people like home food but we aren't that category we like to eat and we would order food after eating lunch it was fun because we can't do our wish in home but college isn't like that , no one would
ask us ,so we ate our lunch ,the lunch time was over and again the class started but here I have to say about one professor she made a big impact in our class . When she enters our class , her face will be covered with a bright smile and she will place her laptop and her book on the table, after that you think she will take class but no ,she would talk continuously until the time is over ,actually she was a HR in abroad,as he left that she became a professor in our college, she would say ,how she was like when she was a HR and she would talk about her neighbours that
with her teaching her neighbour child got 1st rank in the university,she will talk like that for 40 mins and there will be 10 mins left at that time she would see her watch and say ,omg why is time going so fast I was only talking wait guys I will take lesson for 5 mins and then I will take the attendance. We will be like what.... Actually at first our hod was taking that class but she told us that she has many classes to attend a new professor will teach us. She will do this as it was one of her habits and we would talk among us and tell if they gave us a book we would study ourselves and get marks . It was the same throughout the 1st semester as the day was over again I reached the bus stop and the bus came early today so i took the bus I was searching for him at each stop after 2 to 3 stops i didn't see him , i don't know if he took the bus or not after 6th stop when I look around the bus I saw him my heart was pounding it was like whenever I see him i would fall in love again and again you guys know what I meant. I thought he took the bus at that stop but after some days I came to know that it was not that stop he took
the bus . I was turning my head again and again to see him at one point when he turned around he saw me and i turned my head suddenly, it was so awkward, when my stop came I saw him getting off the bus at my stop , I was happy that he was living nearby. After returning home , i freshened up and started to study , even if we go to college we have the same situation , go to school - study-write the exam-come home - again study , it's like this , in every school they say the same thing , study hard in school get good marks and go to a good college and in college
you will be free and we know they are lying to us , the difference is we have a phone and we
can wear any dress to college that's all .After studying I slept and again the same routine and i looked for him at that stop but he was not there , after reaching college the same things happened. I reached the bus stop today, the bus came at 5:30 pm and I was looking for him and "I got on the bus at my college stop, and he got on at the next stop." I have founded that he took the next stop I was calculating in my mind that he should be working around here as he came
he again took his phone a single bluetooth in his ear i would be like ,hey man why don't you
keep that phone inside, always scrolling through the phone i would be saying that in my mind i would be the one looking at him from the start to the end of the stop he would never look up . This was happening daily and one day after those 2 stops there was a college it's also a girls college, and there would be a group of girls they are seniors and in that group a girl also had a crush on him , normally when a group came to know that he/she has a crush on someone when
they she then they would shout right like that they were yelling her name ,but you have that
doubt there would be many people how can you say that that girls are talking about him , but at that time the bus was full of middle aged people and clg student like us and he was the only man on that bus ,from my perspective his age should be 20 above . He was sighing because they were saying her name when seeing him , but I was little jealous .Even though he's not my bf there would be jealous right . Because of them he didn't even look up . At that time he was like a shy girl putting his head down , but me , i was shamelessly seeing him.Again we got off the bus
at sam stop. This happened repeatedly like for one month. Then one day even now when I think it my stomach is full of butterflies, what happened was as usual he took the bus and the bus was super crowded and my stop was near so i got up from my seat and i was standing and he was also standing beside me , again my heart was beating so fast, and i looked at him and turned but
before me there were so many people waiting to get off the bus , at that time I was crushed
between him and the people before me , and there was no gap between us I was literally....
leaning on his chest, at that time I was like ,man how can you leave your shirt with
unbuttoned,his 1st three button was not closed and when I try to turn my head , i would directly see his chest it was like that i couldn't even turn my head but he was standing casually his one hand was on the hanger and the other hand was down but for me i couldn't even hold my hands for support, at last I got off the bus and i took a deep breath and looked at him , he didn't even look and he walked away like a child who doesn't want to go to school . And the next day, ling
was talking seriously on her phone and Xin was already came to the class I asked Xin , what is she doing looking that serious she said , i don't know we have to wait , after talking ling turned her head and she jerked because me and Xin was looking closely at her face and she asked us ; why are looking at me like that in a low voice ,we asked who were you talking with ,ling said no I talked to my relatives , then we went like ohhhhhhhh.....kk ,then Meng came to the
class , today we had another free hour so me and Meng were watching seventeen HOT
song we were invested in that mv ,we didn't notice what ling and Xin are doing .After finishing the lunch we again got a free hour in that hour ,me Meng and Ling were sitting in one class and Xin went to another language class . Our professor gave free time , because she has work to do , so we were talking. I asked did you have any first love or love at first sight , first
Meng said she didn't have first love ,Later Leng said I had a love at first sight and first love , me and Meng screamed,but professor noticed us and we were like smiling at our professor and turned again to ask her ,hey why didn't you tell us , she replied i told Xin , then again we screamed in low voice then why didn't you tell us , Ling replied you were busy with your phone that's why I didn't tell , we asked to tell her now started her story and showed his photo at the end we were fangirling at her because her story was literally a kdrama moment, i don't who
would have such a love right i was like blushing so hard after hearing her story .Meng was also smiling. Xin saw us and she asked Ling what happened to them She said I told them about my story which I told you this morning,both of them smiling like a joker after hearing it. She laughed and we went out of class . As the day was over we rain checked and i was standing in the bus stop, actually there were many people at the bus stop, so i was standing beside me a girl was looking at her phone seriously, first i thought she should be a senior, then her face was like
I saw her somewhere but I don't know where I saw her . As the bus came i took the bus and i
was searching for him at his stop but he didn't come that day , but an old woman took that bus , normally when someone old took the bus one she would stand on her own or else somebody would give her a seat right this only will happen in all the bus ,but when she took the bus all of them murmuring i don't know why they were murmuring after some days I understood why they were like that, so she came inside the bus and asking each person where there are getting off the bus. She would take the seat where the people get off at 2 to 5 stops and she will ask them to get up and she will sit. When I was seeing that i was like; WOW how can she ask like that. This happened daily . Then next day same as the class was over again took the bus
and searched for him he didn't come but time was only 5:20 pm bus came early so i calculated in my mind in which time he took the bus when I finish calculating I came to know that he sharply took the bus at 5:30 pm . I would wait for that particular bus till 5:30 pm and i took that bus and prayed that i should see him like that i will see him taking the bus , i was standing on the opposite side unexpectedly he stood beside me and i know what would happen next my heart was pounding and he took that phone out and put his single bluetooth on his left
ear and placed his hand on the handle i was standing inside his hand you guys know what I am telling whenever I try to stand straight I head would hit his hand and i would bend my head it happened like three times ,but man I was like i should throw that phone out i was bending again and again but he was standing and scrolling his phone . I peeked at his phone and saw what he was seriously watching,but he was seeing insta that seriously. Like how he can see that phone for straight one hour who could do like that. I didn't get a single seat through
my stop and he was also standing like that after half a journey he kept his phone inside his pocket and listened to music. That night i couldn't sleep because of him i had many sleepless nights. He came one day but didn't come the other day and it was like this for 1 and half months . As the class was over I was waiting at the bus stop , I talked about a senior right and she was again sitting beside me . I couldn't keep my mouth shut ,so i asked her.You studying are pg right , she replied with a laugh noo.. i am ug 1st year , hearing that i burst into laughter and said I thought you were a senior. And she also said i also thought you were a senior so we smiled and took the bus and reached home . So after 2 months my college conducted semester exams actually my college conducted exams in 2 ways , 2 days they will conduct soft skills and 3 weeks later they will keep a major exam . As that day was a soft skill exam I had to take the bus at 7 am. When I reached the bus stop ,the bus was so crowded I entered somehow and took my phone out and started to revise for my exam , and the bus also started to move as it reached the next stop ,he took that bus . I casually turned my head behind and i saw him. He also looked at me , whenever I looked at him it would be awkward He would see my eyes correctly whenever I saw him so i would turn immediately as the crowd was
entering, He moved inside . I couldn't stand straight, so i tried to stand straight behind my back when someone was pushing me I turned my head and looked like he was standing behind me When I saw him , my mind directly went to that moment when I was standing near his chest. He looked at me .I turned my head immediately and started to revise . The crowd was entering
and no one had a place to stand as the people were pushing,he leaned on me ,my mind was
struck i couldn't do anything,i was frozen until 10 stops we were like that he was leaning towards me . I tried to move but there was no space and i was stuck there. After 10 stops i got a seat and i sat there ,he was standing next to me and his phone was near my head and he was seeing his phone . After two stops he sat behind my seat. I got off at a particular stop ,and he also got off that bus , a group auto came ,it was already crowded there was one seat left so i took that seat , because I was already late to my exam. The driver asked him to enter inside and asked him to stand . He was seeing me like a baby with a sad face , As if i took his seat. Even though he is my crush i couldn't leave my seat if i gave it to him ,i would have been marked absent . Until the auto moved he was seeing me with that face . As i reached the college i took the exam and told about the incident that happened at first and till now they were like , when did it happen , why didn't you tell us , after discussion I told about his appearance,they said hey what if he was married,then my mind striked yeah , there should possibility like this right . After that i didn't see him . one day i was standing in the bus stop. The girl talked to me and i also talked to her,but we became friends in the 2nd semester. Actually,she was in the next class i didn't know till now. It was rainy season me and my friends were playing like
a child in rain ,even though we brought umbrella we didn't use it we walked to the bus stand without umbrella and we were drained in the rain , as i came to bus stand,the bus came and i took the bus and standing. I thought he wouldn't come because I didn't see him for many days as i was thinking,the next stop came he entered the bus while closing his umbrella and looked at me . I locked my eyes at him we were staring like for 5 seconds and i went to the opposite side and he came and stood beside me and same routine he took his phone out and
put his hand on the handle and i was standing inside his hand and my head was bumping and i was bending again and again It was like this . The next day i saw him at that time I was sitting at last and he was in the front , so it was easy for me to sight at him but he was looking at his phone ,i was keeping my hands at my chin and i was looking at him
suddenly he looked at me and suddenly I looked up but he was seeing me because he should have known that i was seeing him , so I turned my head to the window and i was looking outside. It was so awkward but what should I do it's all time . So the next day me and my classmate took the bus ,at the next stop he took the bus and he was standing behind me and the same he was holding his hand in the handle and i was bumping his hand . So I moved left and I stood after a few minutes. Me and My friend got the
seat so we sat and he was standing near her, even though she has a bf i couldn't control my
jealousy and he even gave his bag to her to keep it ,like his bag is empty and i think he didn't even brought his lunch.it was a stomach burning for me . After 8 stops my friend said bye to me and got off the bus and he sat beside me. At that time I was so happy ,I was smiling like crazy.
His hands were so long and he was wearing a shirt,a pant and a black ring in his left finger ,his veins were showing.... I don't know why but my heart picked that exact moment to act like a fool, he was seeing his phone and i was seeing his veins and someone disturbed me , when I looked up an uncle gave his bag to me , so i kept it and i was seeing outside it was 7 pm . I thought seeing that phone made his eye pain,he was closing his eyes and leaning towards the frontseat and it had two stops I had to get off the bus. I tapped his shoulder and said.Do you know
where that uncle is gone ,he was standing beside you did you see him . He replied like he just got up and said no i don't know and again he slept,but man you also should get off the bus right why did you sleep again . A boy called me and said to give the bag to that uncle .So I took the bag to him and turned. My hands were trembling and I called him again by tapping his shoulder,he looked at him and i said I have got off the bus ,he said okay but he didn't stand up , again i talked to him and said why didn't you stand up with my raised my eyebrows. In my mind i thought aww..poor thing he slept now ,but I called him three times and i smiled. And then he stood up and we got off the bus . When I reached home ,my mind striked, that eye brow raise was awkward,how can I raise the eyebrow to a stranger. Whenever I think that it would be awkward.
After 3 weeks my semester exams started and i have to take the bus at 7 am then only i can go and revise. It was my plan but you guys know when we see our friends the first thing we do is gossiping. At 7 am i took the bus and he was standing in the bus . I looked at him and he looked at me and he turned.This was happening for 5 days because of him i would be at the bus stop
sharp at 6:55 am. After reaching my college we would call our friends one by one and ask
where are they and we would sit at a place and we start to tell what happened when they were home and what drama they watched i forgot to tell Xin and Meng are BTS fans they were obsessed over taekook and also me . They would tell me about that , i would talk about the bus guy and ling would see us like you don't change even when they conduct exams right and we would smile at her as we go write the exam . This was the routine for us when we came to college. After finishing our exam we went out and had fun and we went home .That was the last time I saw him in the first semester . After one month leave ,they reopened the college and it's the starting of 2nd semester we were praying to God that , the professor who came for us at 1st sem should not come for this semester. At first hour a professor came and introduced her and the 2nd hour that came entered with a same smile , our reaction was really bad but what could we do we just forced a smile and she said ,girls I am happy that for this semester also I am taking your class ,last sem i couldn't go according to my plan ,but this sem i would not waste any time I will part the class into three first i will teach you ,second I will ask everyone what i thought and third feedback . I am going to implement this from the next class girls are you ready
girls , we said yes mam with a force smile . Do you think the class was going like what she said but it's not like that . Though she didn't teach us a major subject in the last semester ,she talked nonsense. But this semester it was a major subject,she didn't take lessons literally for one
month ,if i recall it correctly she took lessons for 10 days ,even for practical lessons she teaches us at the last minute. It was a nightmare for our class we would not forget this. And she would say that we have studied all the things and are sitting here for nothing .What should we do If she
left her HR position and came to teach ,she would always talk about that and give a lecture to us . Even one day she realised and said .I think I talk a lot right. We screamed in our mind yeahhh..... After saying that she should have reached right but no ,she was talking.finally lunch period arrived we ate and after lunch we had free period so we played and listened to music. As the class was over I came to the bus and that girl's name was Xun Yue. In the 2nd semester we
became so close and she became my bus partner . We talked and we did many things like we would go to another college bus stop, actually in that area there are three colleges it was our college and it's also a girls college and the third college is in a long distance. So me and xun yue go to that 2nd college bus stop and we wait there for the bus ,and we would take that bus and we would again get off our college, even the conductor would be confused . And we would take another bus from our college. I think it was the 5th or 6th stop of a gym guy (uncle) who
would take that bus it's just for fun don't take it seriously, when I was traveling alone i would
notice him . He would look like a hulk and he was so tall , but when I traveled with xun yue i said look at him and she also said hey look at him and we were like hey you also know him , and she said ,i will always see him taking this bus in the evening. It became content for us even though he didn't do anything, we don't know why we were joking.I think ne noticed us because we were laughing so hard because she was like a savage character and naughty at first she was so silent after talking to her she is so playful. So she would comment and make me laugh so hard even the whole bus would look at us because of her.After two days ,I told xue yue about
my crush and she started her savage character. I smiled so much because of her . That day there was one stop left for my stop . When the bus slowed to stop I saw a man who looked similar but when the bus stopped I saw him again after two months , he looked like a baby ,but he didn't notice that i was there . And when my stop came I got off the bus in a hurry to look at him,but he didn't even wait for the bus to move he crossed the road.
After going home i messaged ling and told her about him. And the next day i thought he would take the bus in the evening but he didn't,but The people I thought I shouldn't even look at, I ended up seeing them. But the one person I actually want to see — I can't. Literally after that day i didn't see him for one month . After one month again I saw when there was one stop left for my stop . At that time I was standing he was standing opposite to me . He glanced at the bus
as he was seeing like there was any seat left . But in my perspective why should he look around when he is going to get off the bus at the next stop. He looked at me and he was looking around. After three weeks my semester exams also arrived .I didn't have a hope that i would see him , in that one month i had many doubts , like what if he is married, if he was married i shouldn't see him , i should forget him . Because of him i couldn't sleep. I made up my mind that i shouldn't see him , even if I saw him i should not see like crazy. After two exams I saw him again in the bus at morning, when I saw him i turned and i didn't even look at him but my heart
was with him, when we reached half distance, driver had a fever so we left that bus and i was
looking for another bus if the bus was near to that stop , when I look up he was standing near the group auto to ride in it , but shamelessly i entered that auto. He noticed that i entered the auto . He turned his head and saw me . I looked at him when we saw me. Again he glanced at me three times . And when he left that auto he looked at me and left in a hurry . It was the last time I saw him ,after that day i couldn't meet him. I even don't know his name and where he
lives or where he works but he left a big impact on me and i couldn't tell how I felt for him , whenever I see him my heart would be calm ,even when I have something in my mind his appearance will keep my mind at ease and i feel comfortable around him.
That was the last time I saw him. After that… he vanished, like smoke fading into the wind. I
never got a name, never heard his voice—but somehow, he left behind an echo in my heart. My memories of him rise and fall like ocean waves—untouched, unbroken, eternal."
The End .....