Slide.
The automatic doors had finally opened. I immediately rushed forward.
"Where's my Dad right now?!" I shouted as I frantically ran towards the reception desk at the hospital.
"S-sir, please—calm down…" the lady said, looking up to me, confused.
"God damn it! Where's my Dad?!" I yelled again—even louder. The whole room stared at me—this tall, sterile lobby with polished concrete tiles and whitewashed walls—but I didn't give a damn.
"Sir, may I ask for his name—"
"—Takashi! That should be enough! Now hurry up and tell me damn it! Where's he at right now?!"
The lady hastily typed on her keyboard and after what felt like an eternity, she spoke. "Mr. Takashi is currently undergoing an emergency operation on the third floor, sir… Please take the elevator on your right—and when you reach the floor, follow the signs for Operating Room 3—"
Before she could finish her sentence, I bolted—towards the elevator that was on my right. The elevator was at the 12th floor. I stared at the digital floor indicator above in distress—desperately waiting for it to descend, but the number didn't seem to go down.
"Damn it!" I couldn't wait for the elevator to arrive and ran towards the staircase which was beside me to climb up to the third floor.
Thud! Thud! Thud!
I ran up the stairs and arrived at the third floor. My eyes darted around the empty sterile hallway that consisted of a few blue metal-framed chairs, multiple light wooden doors on both sides of the hallway. The walls were light gray, with a white and smooth ceiling that had rectangular recessed lighting. I frantically turned my eyes from sign to sign, searching for the one that mentioned Operating Room 3.
"Operating Room 3"
I found the sign, and quickly rushed towards that direction. The operating room was at the far back. It had a heavy slide door, probably to keep it sound-proof.
When I reached it, I noticed that there was a red "ongoing operation" sign that glowed faintly above the door. The entrance was tightly locked, but I didn't try to enter it regardless.
As time went by, my anxiety further increased. With each minute… No… with each second that passed by—my thoughts, my worries and my fears were slowly devourin' me whole. There was a single metal-framed chair—like the ones from earlier right beside me, but I couldn't bring myself to stay put. I endlessly paced around the door—back and forth.
Ba-dump! Ba-dump! Ba-dump! My heart thundered in my chest. I couldn't hear anything from the room, there was only silence, and it was killing me. Because of this quiet, I could hear my own heartbeat—each pulse, like a thunder strike in the midst of a violent storm.
I needed to calm myself down. It felt like my chest would explode anytime soon. I tried to sit down on the chair, for now.
"Fuuuh… haaah…" I inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly, trying to calm myself down.
It wasn't workin'. My heart seemed to beat even faster.
I placed my hand over my chest to suppress this heart of mine that seemed to almost jump around in desperation—ready to burst out at any moment. "Fuuu… haaa…", I sucked in, then breathed out, this time feeling slightly more relaxed than before.
"'Aight… 'aight… calm ya self down, Takeru," I said, trying to further comfort myself.
"Pops is strong—way stronger than ya think he is... you gotta believe in him… he'll survive… a surgery ain't nothin' to my Dad!" I shouted, with a firm resolve. I managed to somewhat regain my cool.
"He'll survive… he'll survive… he ain't dyin'…" I repeated to myself as I waited for the glowing sign to darken.
I managed to steady my heartbeat for now. I was feeling more at ease. I genuinely believed in my father—that he would survive this operation no matter what, and that things would soon come back to normal—as if this nightmare had never existed in the first place. Not like this… I couldn't let things end like this. I still had to tell him "that".
And at long last, that damn glow on the sign had faded.
Shortly after, the heavy slide door finally opened itself.
Slide.
"Hey, mister!" with a confident smile, I called out to the first surgeon that stepped through the wide door.
"Hm…? What you doing here, kid…?" the doctor asked me, his voice slightly surprised, as he wore a white mask and a blue scrub.
"How'd the surgery go, Mister? My Dad is all good now, 'right?" I asked him, expecting a simple "yes".
Just then, he quickly averted his gaze from mine as he looked slightly to the ground. I couldn't tell his expression because of the mask he wore.
"Kid… are you Mr. Takashi's son…?" he asked me carefully, his voice slightly trembling.
"Yeah, mister! Is there anythin' wrong? When can I see my Dad again?
The doctor paused for a moment, he seemed to be mustering up the courage to speak.
"I'm… I'm so sorry kid, your father—Mr. Takashi has succumbed to his illness…" he said, as he clenched his fists with strength.
…
"…Huh?"
Pops… died…?
…
"…No way, 'right… mister? Hey… my Pops… my Dad's still alive, 'right…?"
He didn't answer me. No… he couldn't answer me.
"Hey…? Mister… why are ya quiet? Can I… can I go see him now? Mister…?"
Before I knew it, tears began formin' in my eyes. My hands began tremblin'.
"I… I need to see my Dad… please… mister…"
Under the doctor's breath, as he struggled to look at me, I heard a quiet sob.
"I mean… I… I still haven't told him 'that'…"
No longer able to hold my tears, my eyes overflowed. Tears ran uncontrollably down my face.
"I… I haven't even told him… goodbye… I… I didn't even see his face…"
Slide. Another person—a surgeon had come out of the operating room.
"M-miss…!" I called out to her in desperation, my voice trembling, and my face soaked in tears. "…My Dad... he's still here, 'right…?
She took a glance at the doctor behind me, then to me. She spoke, her voice visibly regretful. "We're sorry… we did everything we could… but…"
Everythin'… they could…?
My knees buckled. For a moment, I didn't feel it. In my head, there was only this strange, floaty silence.
"No…" I took a step back.
"No, no, no… wait—wait a sec…" the hallway seemed to tilt slightly. Or maybe my eyes did.
"But he promised me…" I whispered to myself, my voice barely audible. "He said he'd be fine… he promised—"
My legs trembled. All of a sudden, the fluorescent lights above appeared too bright—too white. My chest felt tight, as if my heart had just shut down.
Thump!
I couldn't breathe. Then, I heard a sharp gasp—it came from me. The floor came rushing on me before I knew it. My legs hit the cold tile. Then everything else followed.
Voices called out to me in a panic, as my vision slowly blurred…
…
"Pops…"