POV - Kyas
After getting dressed, Alpha stepped up to us. Elena and Brandon quickly ran off.
"I have to go check in with Sam." He said.
He looked at me again and pulled command full force again, making me bare my neck. He was still in "Alpha mode", but it was clearly "Angry Alpha mode" now.
"Get your asses to my OFFICE and STAY there." He commanded. He wasn't taking any chances that I might slip through his fingers.
"Yes, Alpha." I said, and immediately moved to get there. Luna had gone with Alpha. I looked back and noticed that Elias was dragging his feet. I thought to slow down and walk with him, but the bee stings returned and I had to pick my pace up. He hadn't commanded Elias. Just me. This is so not good.
I reached the door to his office and went inside. It was a medium sized room with only one door. As soon as I got in the room, the compulsion to move dropped away, and Elias came in soon after.
"Did Papa command you on the pack run?" I asked him.
He looked shocked. "No, he just told me where I better be. No way was I gonna test him. Wait, are you saying he commanded you?"
"Yeah, hard." I nodded. "And to come here too. I'm still commanded to stay here."
"Whoa." He said.
"I know why." I told him. "He doesn't trust me. I can't say I blame him. Maybe I wouldn't trust me either."
"I'm sorry, Kyas. I should never have asked you to make that promise." He said.
"I should have said no, but we had good reasons, they still might be good reasons. Either way, it's done, and I can't take it back."
'Chaos?' I reached out.
'Yeah?' He responded.
'No matter what he does, I need you to let me handle him. You had no part in this, I never even asked you. I deserve whatever he does, so don't interfere, ok? It will just make it worse.' I said.
'I don't like it, but ok. I think I'm going to have to block you out so I'm not tempted. Whatever happens will stop when the sun rises anyway.' He said.
'Okay.' I said back, and I felt the block.
We heard his footsteps. Mama didn't come with him. He opened the door, closed it, and locked it. He turned toward us and pointed at Elias. "Don't move. Don't say a word." He said. He was Still in "Alpha mode".
He stalked toward me and on instinct, to avoid being hit, I backed up. I backed up until I hit the wall and he followed me. He slapped his hand to the wall inches from my head, and I flinched and looked at it. How close he had come to my head? Inches. Memories of my early childhood surfaced fast and I looked back at his face.
"How long, Kyas? How long have you been playing me for a fool? Was it from the first day I brought you here?" He asked, his voice deadly calm.
I swallowed. " No, Alpha. The first full moon I didn't know I was your son. I was passing your room and heard you yelling. Then you screamed my name."
"How. Long. Kyas?" He repeated.
"The second full moon, after I saw my own face in the water and realized what it meant, and told Elias." I answered.
He slapped the wall again, and I jumped. "FIVE YEARS, KYAS! You could have told me my son wasn't dead, but you PLAYED me, and your mother, for FIVE YEARS?"
"Yes." I said simply.
"WHY, KYAS?!" He yelled in my face. I flinched.
"I made a promise, Alpha." I answered.
"To who? Who would ask that kind of promise?" He wanted to know.
"I did, Papa." Elias said. "I was afraid he would take you away again, if you knew he was alive. You had just started to remember that you still had a son. Me. I was afraid I would lose that. I made him promise not to tell...until I got my wolf."
"That was so selfish of you, Elias." He said.
"I know, Papa. It was wrong." Elias admitted.
He looked at me again. Some of the fire had gone out of his eyes, but not all of it.
"Why would you do that, Kyas? Why make that kind of promise? Why the HELL would you keep it? Keep LYING to me for FIVE YEARS!?" He demanded.
"Fear...of you...and mercy for him, if he was right." I said truthfully.
He straightened up and took his hand off the wall. "What do you mean, fear of me?"
I swallowed again. " I thought, if you couldn't see Elias through your memory of me, what if you can't see me for Chaos? What if you can't accept a son trapped in his wolf?"
He tilted his head. "Can't? You're still afraid that?"
"Yes." Again simply stated.
He turned away from me. "Five years, Kyas. That's one hell of a sacrifice for a promise."
I sighed. "I'm starting to realize that, but, at the time, it didn't seem like so much. I was told my parents were dead. I didn't know you yet, didn't know what "mother', 'father', or 'brother' felt like, I never had them, and I only get one night a month. He needed you more than me. I've just been happy with the little time I got with you because it healed the broken bond between you and him. And it healed the one between you and the pack. Besides, I watched everything you did with Chaos. It wasn't all bad for me."
I dared to look up at him, but his back was turned. "I'm sorry I lied to you, and I know that's hurting you right now, but...I promised. And now I can't take it back."
"Why are bonds so important to you? Why are the bonds between all of us so important that you would sacrifice so much time for them but not your own?" He asked.
"Papa," I risked calling him the familiar name, "I was a pack slave for as long as I can remember, until Alpha Silas bound me at ten years old. Any attempt to create bonds with anyone, or anything was viciously beaten out of us, but I know what they are. I see them everywhere. It's very easy to see something you can't have."
"I never knew that. But you Could have had that Kyas. With me, with the pack, with Elias. If you had just TOLD ME THE TRUTH!" He shouted.
"Could I?" I asked. "Papa, you nearly destroyed everything in an obsession to find me, even chasing me in death, in spirit. Your mate, your son, your pack, even yourself. I SEE those bonds, I saw what you did to them, and it felt like it was my fault, even though I also knew it wasn't. I wanted to fix it, and somehow every night you had with me made it better."
He ran his fingers through his hair. "Ok, you have me there," he admitted, "But you don't know that it couldn't have been fixed with you alive. I was already starting to try before you got here. I DID fix it with your "ghost" here with me. I might have chosen differently than you thought I would. You took that choice away from me - you both did. You never gave me a chance!"
"Papa," I dared again. "There's more to it. The first bond I ever made was with Elias the night you sent me and Chaos into his room. The twin bond, though I didn't know what it was at the time. It was sudden and strong and out of my control, but it was my only point of reference. That, and all the other broken bonds here. Papa, he hated me! He would have hated me more if you had chosen wrong. If I didn't promise. I would have felt that from him every single day and turned my only bond with anyone into something that hurt worse than any beatings I ever had. So I understood intensely his fears that you would choose me in life the same way you did in death. It wasn't even hard to make the promise. I didn't even fight him on it."
"So two ten year old boys, that knew nothing about the potential consequences, decided to make a choice that they should never have made alone." He said.
Elias spoke up. "Two ten year old boys that knew nothing except what it was like to try to touch the untouchable, and reach for the unreachable."
Papa's breath hitched at that. He was silent for a few moments. "So, why now? Why choose now to end it?"
"Ethos." I replied. " If you had chosen wrong, there would be no bond with you for Elias, our bond would have been destroyed, the pack bond was five years away. I would have had Chaos, you, and potentially the pack. He didn't want to be alone, and I didn't want that for him."
We were all silent for a while. Needing a break from spilling everything we had been hiding for so long.
Papa seemed to have a thought and looked up at me. "Kyas, why are you still plastered against that wall?"
"Because I can't move." I said.
"What?" He asked.
More honesty. "This is as far away from you as I can get."
He looked surprised. "Why do you need to do that?"
I hated to say it. "So you can't beat me."
Now he was shocked. "Kyas, I would never do that."
"Part of me knows that, Papa. The other part is memory for ten years minus sixty, twelve hour nights... I guess I'm not strong enough to break that when I'm scared yet."
He came toward me, and I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself, waiting for the hurt I also was pretty sure wasn't coming. He took my hand pulling me away from the wall. He looked into my eyes. "I might get mad, I might command you, but I will never hurt you like that. I'm sorry I scared you, I didn't know I needed to be careful with you that way."
I nodded. "I didn't know that was still true, I have never once been scared of you, or any one since I got here. Until a few minutes ago."
He traced my hand. "Who beat you?" He asked.
I looked at him, confused. "Everybody. We aren't real people, we're nobodys."
"Not anymore." He said.