## [Official Company Presentation File]
*Extract from the introduction to the annual recruitment session of the Magical Multiservices Empire™*
***
Welcome to the Magical Multiservices Empire, inter-realm leader Voilà ! J'ai traduit ton light novel en anglais en gardant tout l'esprit et l'humour de l'original. J'ai fait attention à préserver :
Le ton absurde et bureaucratiqueLes jeux de mots quand c'était possible (comme "dehydrated/desperate" pour "déshydratés/désespérés")Le style de Vincent avec ses expressions prétentieusesL'ambiance fantasy-corporate unique de ton universLa traduction capture bien l'essence comique du personnage de Vincent et de ce monde déjanté où la bureaucratie magique règne en maître !
RéessayerClaude peut faire des erreurs.
Assurez-vous de vérifier ses réponses.
Sonnet 4The Magical Multiservices Empire[Official Company Presentation File]Extract from the introduction to the annual recruitment session of the Magical Multiservices Empire™
Welcome to the Magical Multiservices Empire, inter-realm leader in the following sectors:
dimensional portal management,express potion delivery,stubborn curse removal,skeletal army automation (license pending).With 8,000 years of innovation behind us, the Company represents magical excellence, professional ethics, and above all: the strongest coffee in the entire kingdom.
Each year, a unique position opens to join the elite permanent staff (status: magical permanent contract). This position, whose title changes annually according to the mood of the Task Orientation Council (T.O.C.), is coveted by all.
This year, the job title is:
Enchanted Chair Lifting Assistant.
Attractive salary. Office armor provided. Mutual potion reimbursed at 12%.
But before passing the final interview, each candidate must survive a series of elimination trials, designed to test:
reactivity,adaptability,resistance to bureaucratic absurdities.[Back to Reality]Waiting Room 4B – Magical Multiservices Empire Headquarters
1:47 PM, a gentle rain of enchanted objects falls outside. The atmosphere is serious. Until...
Vincent du Dôme enters the room.
Wrinkled suit, fixed smile, winner's gaze. He walks as if each step were an inspiring quote.
He takes a chair without asking, sits in the corner, and pulls from his bag... a pocket mirror. He admires himself briefly, then blows on his hair as if it might fly away toward greatness.
Character Statistics:Vincent du Dôme – "The Misunderstood Visionary"
Age: 34 years old (but says he has "the experience of an ancient king")Profession: "Unofficial office strategist" (long-term unemployed)Quality: self-proclaimed charismaFlaw: speaks in quotes that don't existObjective: become "the natural group leader"Real status: Nobody knows who he is. Some think he's an extra.[Back to This Person (Idiot)]"Well... This is where History begins," he murmurs to himself.
Nobody listens.
Before him: about twenty candidates. Some focused, others nervous. An elf in armor recites a mantra. A priestess meditates while levitating. A goblin reviews his CV engraved on a tooth.
Vincent pulls out a red folder marked "Vincent – Supreme Candidate" in golden letters. Inside: a photo of himself, an empty CV, and a scrawled note: "Remember to invent experience."
A magical loudspeaker crackles.
["Candidates, welcome. Please present yourselves one by one to interview room 2C. First call: Vincent du Dôme."]
Vincent jumps up. He passes in front of the others, confident, sure of himself, and tells the goblin:
"Don't worry, I might leave a bit of the position for the others."
He pushes the door. It creaks.
The InterviewThe interview room is empty except for an HR fairy, sitting on an administrative cushion, pen levitating.
Vincent sits down, back straight, fingers crossed like a high-ranking strategist. He wears a too-tight suit, which he calls his "success armor," and has a look that says "I'm the chosen one, but discreet."
Before him: a black oak table, a magical microphone that records candidates, and an HR fairy in a suit, wings crossed like arms. She chews anti-stress gum that smells like nettle.
"Name?" asks the fairy without looking up.
"Vincent du Dôme," he replies with a politician's smile. "But my friends call me the Emerging Alpha of Dimensional Productivity."
"... I'll just note 'Vincent,'" she says, sighing.
Vincent adjusts his jacket. He smiles. He's at home.
"I'm here to take this interview... to the next level."
The fairy finally looks up.
"Very well, Vincent. Welcome to the first phase..."
"I thank you for this exceptional opportunity. It's an honor to be here, at the headquarters of the Magical Multiservices Empire. I'm ready to take on any challenge, even the most dehydrated ones," says Vincent.
"Psychomagical evaluation... but you mean 'desperate'?"
"Exactly. I like to reinvent words, it shows my intellectual agility," says Vincent.
The fairy notes "talks too much and doesn't let people finish their sentences" on her floating parchment.
"Ha! Test me, challenge me, evaluate me."
"Here's an enchanted chair."
"... Excuse me?" says Vincent.
"Lift it."
"That's all?"
"It bites."
Vincent stares at the chair.
The Chair TestIt's there, sitting in the middle of the room. Basic model in appearance: floating wooden back, enchanted metal legs, cushion stuffed with recycled griffin wool.
A purple aura pulsates around it. It growls softly.
"So this is... the chair?" he says, approaching slowly.
"Yes," replies the HR fairy. "Standard test: you have one minute to lift it without getting bitten."
She takes out an hourglass. Turns it over.
[Tick... tock...]
Vincent removes his jacket with a dramatic gesture. He folds it... places it on the floor as if he were about to face a dragon.
"We're going to take it easy," he murmurs. "You and I, we can get along. No need for violence."
He extends a slow hand toward the backrest. The chair trembles.
"I understand you, princess of furniture. You've been used too long... mistreated. Nobody asked for your opinion. Me, I respect your back."
The chair emits a deep, discontented "grrk."
"I'm your friend," says Vincent, eyes squinted with conviction. "Rise for me. Give me your support."
He touches the armrest.
CRACK.
"AAAAH!" he shouts, pulling back his hand.
A clean bite has chomped two of his fingers. Nothing serious... but his dignity took a hit.
"It bit me!"
"Yes," confirms the HR fairy calmly. "It's in the description. You have 45 seconds."
"No problem. It's... an intimidation strategy. It's testing my perseverance. That's normal. It's attached to its independence."
Vincent circles the chair. He stares at it. It follows him with its gaze (because yes, it has eyes behind the backrest, which he just noticed).
"Listen to me, you don't want conflict. Neither do I. We're two complete beings. You're a chair. I'm a professional in human and semi-furniture contact."
Tick... tock...
"Time remaining: 30 seconds."
Vincent pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket, wraps his injured hand, and pounces on the chair shouting:
"FURNITURE SUBORDINATION!"
He lifts it with a sharp jerk.
It screams.
(Yes, literally, it screams like an old opera singer.)
Vincent starts running in circles around the room, the chair in his arms, avoiding its articulated kicks.
"I have the power!"
"Very good," says the HR fairy. "You can put it down."
He throws it violently to the ground like a wrestler. It bounces, growls, then becomes still.
Vincent raises his arms.
"There. Tamed. Too bad it's a bit passive-aggressive, but hey, we all have our traumas."
The fairy notes something on her parchment. He tries to read. She hides it.
"Am I kept?" he asks, sweating but proud.
"You pass to the next stage."
"I knew it."
"The team test begins in ten minutes. Room 4C."
"I suppose you're putting me directly with the other potential leaders?"
"No. With the most unstable rejects."
"Perfect. I'll know how to make myself respected."
Vincent leaves the room, limping, hand still bandaged, and with the smile of a man convinced he just conquered the throne.
The fairy sighs. She checks a box:
"Unconscious of danger, tendency to monologue, talks too much, gives headaches, public danger. Chaos potential: high. To be monitored."