I've tried hard to be a strong woman for an entire week now, but a girl can only stay strong for so long with everything that's been going on with my life at the moment.
I last visited my mother at the clinic last week thanks to the embargo Dad placed on me like I'm some toddler getting time out. I can't stop thinking about Noah and how he cheated on me with Briana. I didn't show it then but I was broken to the core.
He was my only hope of escaping this shit show of a life. Marrying him would have guaranteed that I leave this 'home' and start afresh. Bonus points for how he treated me like a princess and I felt so special then. He was my rock, damnit! If only I'd known he was cheating on me. Not his first time I'm sure. The way he shamelessly performed that porno nonsense before my eyes with Briana was proof enough. But even as I know this much I can't stop myself from crying.
My eyes are puffy now, and since I can't leave the house and my wifi connection was cut, I can't contact Manon for some girl talk sessions.
"What's so wrong with me wanting a little freedom?" I mumble to myself, tugging my blanket close to my chest.
I hate this. Feeling useless. Feeling like I'm unlovable. Feeling like I don't deserve to live. Feeling like it's my fault for being born when it clearly isn't. But what can I do? Life keeps pushing the thoughts into my head and each day stands to prove I'm more of a discarded side character piece created to be at the mercy of others.
"When's my turn to shine coming. I can't stand this anymore," I whimper into my pillow, my lips slightly trembling just when a knock sounds on my door.
The butler. It can only be him. He's been the one being sent to deliver my food since I wasn't allowed to eat with the family. Not that I wanted to anyway. If I see Amelia or Briana's face anytime soon I think I'll commit my first ever murder.
"Miss Leilani. Your Dad requests your presence in the dining room."
I don't respond.
"He said to tell you that you'll get your wifi reconnected if you do what he says," the butler adds.
Man, I hate being manipulated, but I need my wifi connection so badly right now. Mostly because I know Manon is having a crash-out in my inboxes somewhere on social media.
"I'll be down in a second," I reply.
Sitting up in my bed, I look around my dimly lit room. Plates and cups from the room service I'd been receiving the past week are lined up on my bedside table. I'm surprised there aren't any worms squirming on them by now. Then again, there can't be. I wiped the plates clean. I might be stressed enough to get suicidal thoughts but never, and I repeat, never will I deprive myself of food just because I'm in a sour mood.
My joints are sore from lying around for seven days and nights. I need to visit the gym today. Dad said I can't leave the house, not my room.
Heading over to my bathroom, I clean myself up. First up, a shower to get rid of the body stench. Then a makeover to hide the dark circles under my eyes. I can't give Amelia and her daughter the satisfaction of seeing me distraught after the fight I put on with them a few days ago.
Finally, I'm done dressing up in a cute baby pink floral dress before I step out of my room, phone in hand. Sure enough, the wifi immediately connects when I step outside the room.
"The hell! They only limited my room to the wifi connection?" I laugh at myself in disbelief. All I needed to do was step out of my room and boom, my wifi connection would've been restored.
Well, no use crying over spilled milk, especially whilst wearing mascara.
I gracefully glide down the stairs, happily kicking my feet as if I weren't crying a while ago until I reach the dining room. My family is already eating their breakfast, sitting around the twenty-sitter custom table Amelia brought. Like who needs such a large table for a family of four?
I spot my covered plate of food placed next to my Dad, but I don't feel like sitting next to him today. So when I reach where it is, I pull the plate two tables away from him and sit down, ignoring the six eyeballs ogling at me.
"Don't you have any manners?" Amelia begins.
"Let her be. She's been locked in her…" Dad trails off and I know Amelia gave him that look again.
I want to fight her, but I've suffered enough in my room this entire week to be this dramatic. So like the good semi-submissive girl I've been for 22 years now, I wipe my mouth with a napkin and give her the respect she so desperately wants.
"Good morning, mother."
"That's more like it. Now greet your sister too."
"She's the little one. The elders are the ones who deserve respect remember?" I arch a brow at Amelia just as my Dad sighs and Briana rolls her eyes.
"The least you can do after punching my chest is show how sorry you are."
"And the least you can do for a fucking betrayer is shut up before I get angry and punch your teeth out next," I retort just when Amelia drops her fork on her plate. Clang!
"It's never a dull moment with your daughter around is it?"
"Amelia…" Dad trails off.
"Oh, so I'm in the wrong?"
I roll my eyes as my phone begins sending notifications nonstop. I flip it around and see tons of messages everywhere: Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok…you name it—and they're all from Manon.
AuthorManon: Girl are you safe?
ManonLawrenceauthor: Honey say something!!! Why can't I call you?
Text me something. A word, an emoji, a full-stop, anything! If you don't I'll write an article about your family murdering you right now!!!!
I laugh at the last message on TikTok, sending her a reply that I'm okay and my connection had been cut off for a week as punishment when Amelia suddenly scoffs.
"See. She finds this whole thing amusing. Do something about her, Harry."
"Oh my god will you relax for a moment. I'm just texting my friend," I retort.
"Manners, Leilani," Dad barks.
Sheesh.
"Sorry," I reply.
"You think that's enough?" Amelia shrieks standing up.
Briana looks at her mother, a glint in her eyes showing she's enjoying whatever this freak show is. I roll my eyes. Just another regular occurrence in the Mayfield family every time I'm present.
"Madam Mayfield," comes a soft yet sharp voice from the dining room's entrance.
Everyone pauses and Dad immediately stands, bowing his head low. Amelia follows before Briana stands too. I'm the last to turn my head and look at our highly esteemed guest who has managed to get my family to finally chill.
You can imagine the surprise on my face when my eyes land on the woman who's been subconsciously on my mind for the past week. Short white hair, a curvy figure made prominent by a white designer suit that perfectly suits her boss lady vibe, made complete by a navy blue coat. To top it all off, she has two men dressed in black on each of her sides, one Asian and one Black. It goes without saying that I immediately want to prostrate myself in her presence.
Such a heavy aura can only be of regal presence.
"Grandma Maria," I mumble under my breath as she removes her sunglasses and hands them to one of her men, her eyes set on me.
"You look so much like your mother," she mumbles stretching her arms.
Before I know it, I charge in and embrace her into a hug, the warmth emanating from her tiny body enough for me to forget she hates me for a moment. Then the tears follow. One tiny drop at first before the entire flood gate opens and runs down my face, taking the mascara and makeup along with it.