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Chapter 4 - Chapter 4

After days and nights of fixating on the money the decision was made.

Aria was giving the money back. She didn't care if it was stupid. She wanted nothing to do with this.

The thousands of dollars sitting in her drawer had started to feel like a curse, whispering to her in the quiet of the night, making her uneasy every time she looked at them.

But no more. She grabbed the envelopes, all of them. The stacks were even thicker than she remembered. Thousands and thousands of dollars.

It was enough to have solved all of her problems. She could have paid off her mother's bills. She could have been ahead on her rent for most of the year. It could have gotten her out of Vixen. It would have given her a new life..

But nothing about this situation felt right.

Her hands trembled as she shoved the money into her bag, as if it burned her fingers.

She exhaled, trying to shake off the nerves. She would walk in there and hand it back to him tonight. She just had to find the courage to look into those blue eyes and do it.

Aria pulled out her black satin club dress, the tightest, shortest one she owned.

Her stomach twisted as she smoothed it down her body. She stared at the mirror, smoothing it out over the tops of my thighs.

She usually didn't even bother to check in the mirror when she was going to work. She knew what she would see, a way too short skirt and far too much skin on show. 

Why did it matter tonight?

Her fingers fumbled with the straps of her gorgeous black and diamante heels, the only ones she actually liked. Why was she so nervous? None of this is for him.

It's not for him.

She repeated the lie in her head as she straightened her long, golden hair, making sure every strand was perfect.

She spent a little longer on her makeup, too, sculpting her cheekbones, deepening the smoky shadow around her eyes, adding a soft shimmer to her lips.

Her heart pounded.

It wasn't for him.

And yet, the moment she stepped outside and made her way to the club, she an ache. Like an invisible string tugging her forward.

She was ready to face him. To end whatever this was.

The moment Aria stepped into Vixen, she somehow knew. He wasn't there. That overwhelming, suffocating presence was missing.

It was like she'd been bracing herself for a storm, only to walk into silence.

She exhaled sharply, forcing herself to move. She looked around the club, looking for him, though she instinctively knew he wasn't there. 

The music thumped. The club was packed. But she felt… hollow.

Still, she worked. Served drinks. Avoiding all the wandering hands. Smiled through the exhaustion. And waited. She waited for him. But he never came.

As the hours stretched on, a strange sensation crawled over her skin. She felt weak. It wasn't just exhaustion. Her limbs felt heavy and her movements slower. God she hoped she wasnt getting ill.

By the time the night ended, she barely had the energy to drag herself home.

She was pretty sure now, she was getting sick.

Yet she hoped it was just stress. Hoped it was just the money still weighing down her bag.

She would have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow, she'll return it.

He will come back tomorrow.

The next morning, Aria could barely get out of bed. Her entire body felt like lead. Every limb was slow and sluggish.

She tried to shake it off. She dragged herself out on bed and got herself dressed. Pulling on her trainers she forced herself to go for a run.

She struggled to make it three blocks before she had to stop, unable to push her body any further. She bent over double her chest heaving, hands on her knees.

What the hell was wrong with her?

She wiped sweat from her forehead. This wasn't normal. She had been running every morning for years and she would not even have broken a sweat by this point normally. 

She really must be coming down with something. This was the last thing that she needed. She needed to be at the top of her game to have the confidence, and will power to face that man again.

With the lack of energy she was currently feeling she thought that if she saw him now she would simply crumble under his gaze.

After practically crawling the remainder of the way to the coffee shop, Aria collapsed into one of the comfy stools by the counter. Jade frowned at her as she slid Aria a steaming cup of coffee.

"You look like shit."

Aria gave a weak laugh. "Gee, thanks."

"I mean it," Jade pressed, eyes scanning her face. "Did you even sleep?"

Aria hesitated, she hadn't got much sleep. But she hadn't for the last week or so since she first saw that man.

"I guess not."

Jade studied her, tapping her nails on the counter. "You sure that's all it is?"

Jade knew Aria too well, she knew there was more to this. Aria wasn't sure why she was keeping this from Jade. Aria was sure though that if she told Jade about the money she would say she needs to keep it. She would tell her to spend it. That she deserves it. And Aria is sure that if she saw the blue eyed man she would offer to take him off Aria's hands.

Aria had somehow managed to pull herself together enough to make it to work that night. She still and the money burning a hole through ehr bag, ready to hand right back to the man. She had given herself a pep talk all day. 

Yet it was just another night. Another usual shift. And most annoyingly another absence.

Where the hell was he?

Aria tried to tell herself she was relieved. That she should be happy he hadn't come back. That then she could just keep the money and move on.But really she knew that she couldn't do that. It would just haunt her forever.

This happened the next night. She was getting sicker and sicker, all energy and strength draining from her body. Yet she still forced herself to work, scared that she would miss the opportunity to end this. And as the hours passed, she felt worse.

Drained. Weak. Like something was missing.

Like a part of her had been ripped away. And she had no idea why. This was like no illness she had ever had before.

The envelopes still sat in her bag, untouched. She didn't want them. Didn't want the strings attached.

But if he never came back, what would she do with it?

Give it to charity?

Leave it somewhere and pretend it never existed?

Or was she doomed to keep it forever?

A silent reminder of the man who had started something she couldn't understand…

And then vanished.

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