In the early days, giving feels like purpose. It is the fire that fuels the breadwinner's soul—the drive to lift others, to end the generational cycles of lack, to rewrite the narrative of a family long acquainted with struggle. But with time, when giving is met with greed, when boundaries are ignored, and when love is measured only in currency, that same giving can begin to feel like a curse.
Not because generosity is wrong, but because of how people respond to it.
There is a dangerous line that exists between appreciation and exploitation. When crossed, the breadwinner becomes a victim of their own compassion. Instead of freedom, they find captivity. Instead of peace, they find constant pressure. And instead of joy, they find silent resentment growing inside.
Giving becomes expected, not admired. It becomes the foundation upon which others build entitlement. Some begin to manipulate emotions: "You don't love us anymore if you can't help." Others play the guilt card: "If not for us, you wouldn't have reached this level." And worse still, some begin to sabotage the giver—secretly hoping for their failure, just to humble them.
This is the curse of being needed but never nurtured.
The breadwinner finds themselves in an emotional conflict. If they stop giving, they are seen as wicked. If they continue, they feel used. If they say no, they become the villain. If they say yes, they are taken for granted. It becomes a prison with invisible walls. And within those walls, love begins to erode.
This curse is also generational. Children of breadwinners often grow up witnessing their parent or guardian pour endlessly into a family that rarely reciprocates. They grow up watching the emotional drain, the financial collapse, and the silent suffering. And they begin to fear success—not because they don't want it, but because they've seen how dangerous it becomes when everyone expects you to carry them.
In some cases, this curse manifests as burnout. The breadwinner may collapse emotionally, physically, or mentally. Their health fails. Their spirit breaks. They lose themselves. And even then, some people still ask: "What happened to all the money?" They don't ask what happened to the heart. What happened to the soul. What happened to the person behind the provision.
The solution is not in stopping generosity—but in redefining it.
Boundaries are necessary. Giving should be empowering, not enabling. Breadwinners must learn to teach, not just provide. To build capacity in others, not just dependency. To say yes with wisdom and no without guilt.
There must be a cultural shift—from demanding support to learning self-sufficiency. From milking the breadwinner dry to becoming part of the solution. From entitlement to partnership.
Because the hands that give can only give for so long. The curse is not in the act—it is in the imbalance.
When giving becomes a curse, everyone loses. The giver becomes empty. The recipients remain dependent. And the future remains fragile.
It is time to restore the beauty of giving—by making it safe again.